Sooooo… uhhh… I made the fatal mistake of engaging with 👽Y/N👽 Slander this 2025-2026 and now I'm spiritually unwell 😐.
Somehow--somehow--I discovered that self-insert fanfiction is actually fun. Like. Enjoyable. Entertaining, even. I don't hate it. This realization alone should've sent me to jail 😁.
Naturally, instead of closing the app, I chose psychological warfare and went digging for the most eye-watering, soul-crushing, historically iconic Y/N fic known to mankind.
Y/N is NOT like other girls.
Her hair? Always in a messy bun.
Makeup? She "doesn't really care," yet looks effortlessly ✨ h ✨ o ✨ t ✨.
Backstory? Parents died (pick one or both, dealer's choice).
Outfit? Her dead mother's dress because grief = 👠fashion👗.
Aura? So powerful that alphas, enigmas, CEOs, and probably HR violations orbit her via pheromones alone.
Anyway--PLOT TWIST.
The story isn't from Y/N's POV.
It's told through the perspective of a side character (technically my OC) who has always existed as the narrative stepping stool for the flawless Y/N (a.k.a. 👹YOU👹).
They're just an office worker. You know--cubicles, computers, paperwork, the crushing weight of capitalism, blah blah.
And OF COURSE the cast is bloated beyond reason:
- the second male lead whose sole purpose is to make the CEO jealous and get fired
- the third male lead who is the rival CEO of the company two buildings away because walking distance enemies-to-lovers
- the janitors who know everything
- the CEO's secretary who knows even more
- the office gossips running a faster information network than the internet
- the CEO's fiancé
- the male lead's alpha older 🫦sister🫦 who exists solely to intimidate everyone, including the reader
I honestly don't know if this will become a full series or just short stories (maybe one-shot scenarios). Reality has been kicking my ass, keeps on interrupting my delusions, and I already have unfinished books sitting in my drafts like abandoned children 😓😭.
But! My OC is androgynous, and I do want to give them a story they actually deserve. I'll try my best to make it genuinely well-written ✨🙂✨.
Now listen--this book CANNOT under any circumstances reach the hands of the alpha male, six-foot-something, broad-shouldered, eternally brooding, aggressively possessive, illegally hot, 13-inched dick CEO. Because if he reads it, he will absolutely realize I'm roasting his precious Y/N (which I am, unapologetically), and then I'll be fired on the spot and personally escorted to the 67th floor window for a dramatic corporate defenestration 😭😭!!!