Estella Cole~
I woke up exhausted, another day where everyone sees me differently. It's so tiring to keep up appearances when your appearance changes minute by minute.
Literally. My appearance changes to what other people want to see. No one has ever made my true appearance show except for my parents. I don't know what I look like anymore. When I look in the mirror, I just see an empty vessel, a body without a face. It's totally unsettling, so I tried to avoid the mirror at all costs.
My parents died when I was six years old. That night still haunts me, taking control of my dreams. The bright flames… the screams reverberated through my brain constantly.
I ran out of my house thinking my parents were right behind me. My dad was, then there was a look of horror and shock as he realized my mom wasn't. He ran back in to get her, and he never came back out. I remember falling to the ground, waiting for them to emerge from the burning, crumbling house, and they never did. I screamed and cried as the firefighters and cops tried to pull me away. Once they got me up, they put me in a cop car, and someone drove me away from the only home I have ever known. I also remember having many, many sleepless nights, twisting and turning while the truth of that night plagued me. My parents are dead and gone.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I got dressed and brushed through my hair as if my life depended on it. I avoid the mirror as much as I can because I'm afraid of what I'll see.
I live in a boarding school, and I don't get to choose a lot of things. At least I can choose my clothes, unlike the other kids at school. Every time someone looks at me, I'll have the facade that I'm wearing a uniform. I liked to believe that I was the headmistress's favorite student.
When I stepped out of my dorm room wearing a white crop top and dark jeans, I saw a few kids passing by, and my appearance started shifting. Suddenly, I have short black hair with red tips, and my skin is darker. Whenever the same person looks at me, they see something different each time, fitting to what they'd like to see at that moment, and they forget what they saw the last time. As fast as the people walking by, the next appearance comes and washes away the first. Even my friends only see what they want to see. Humans invade the halls, classrooms, and dorms of this school I call home. Nobody ever notices anything amiss. Like how I change so many times a day, but no one sees what other people see.
They all talk about me, it's crazy that they never get confused about who they are talking about, because everything is different about me. My name and everything else stay the same, though.
I headed to my first class and saw my best friend, as best of a friend could be when she doesn't see me for who I really am. Cassidy walked up to me, her blonde hair swaying along with her hips. I rolled my eyes playfully, and I looked her up and down.
"I like the new look, bestie. What made you change?" She looks at me sheepishly, "A boy, he's really nice, but he likes this style, so I was trying it out. I'm not sure I like how short these shorts are or how silly this shirt makes me feel, though."
I giggled and looked at the short jean shorts she had on and the pink tube top. "It really does look good on you, but you should lose the shorts and maybe put on some leggings. Who's the boy that has your attention this time?"
She looked at the ground, then looked back up to me. I'm a little taller than her, and she always bugs me about it. "Adrian Jenkins, sophomore this year, I know we are almost graduating, but he's cute and nice."
I look at her disapprovingly, "You should never change your appearance or personality for anyone. If you want him to like you for you, then be yourself." I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and my smile faltered a little.
"Now, how do you think you did on the math test yesterday? I think I did pretty well, but I'm not sure."
"I have no hope for how I did; I bet my score is dreadful." She replied with a sigh.
"You're being dramatic, Cass. Do you ever think about going into drama? We have one more semester left. You could totally try it." I laughed softly.
She smiled a little, her straight white teeth gleaming in the ceiling lights. "You really think so?"
I nodded as we sat down at our desks at the beginning of AP history.
"Would you wanna go shopping after classes?" I whispered, making sure not to get caught.
She looked towards me with a wounded look, "I am offended that you think you have to ask," she replied quietly.
I stifled a giggle. "I am oh so sorry, Cass."
She just turned her head to look to the front of the classroom, purposely ignoring me.
AP history, geometry, ELA, mythical history, earth science, and finally painting. The classes seemed endless, but listing them made me feel dramatic.
I pulled out my phone and pressed on the messaging app.
ME: R U ready to go shopping?!
Three bubbles appeared and disappeared.
CASS: Ofc I was born ready, gurl.
I smiled at the screen and sent a smiley face emoji.
ME: Meet at the front gates in 15?
A few minutes later, her reply appeared.
CASS: sounds good
I dropped off my backpack and grabbed my purse. I applied lip gloss on the way out.