As it turned out, Doctor Konoha had a slightly modern clinic. He had a sink, a refrigerator, a water fountain, and even a toilet. He also (strangely) had a stove in the clinic, which Sanji was using to cook some mouth-watering stew. After I'd gotten enough water that my throat was starting to feel normal again, my stomach growled, and I suddenly realized I was starving.
"There you are," Nami said. She was sitting around a table in the center of the room, along with Zoro, Mr. 9, and Vivi. "We were worried about you. The villagers all found the rest of us three days ago."
I stared. "Three days ? I've been out for three days?"
"Yeah. Lucky we found you when we did." Usopp agreed. "You might've died from dehydration otherwise."
"Whoa." I shivered at the thought of how close I'd been to death's door. "Scary thought."
"The Merry is almost repaired," Sanji told me as he stirred his stew. "So as soon as that carpenter finishes up, we're getting outta here. These guys—" he motioned to Mr. 9 and Vivi "still need to get to their home."
"That's a good idea," said Konoha. "You see, the woman who rules over this island, Swap Island, is called Lady Ranko. She has an evil heart and is cruel to all."
"Lady Ranko?" Lucy repeated.
I eyed her. "There is a serious echo here."
No one laughed this time.
The doctor nodded. "Yes. Lady Ranko. She is a woman who lives in a castle-like mansion at the end of a path that leads west out of Niji Town. At the end of every other month, she comes down from her castle and reapplies her curse on us."
"Curse?" Nami mused. "What kind of curse?"
"Lady Ranko came to Swap Island around fifty years ago. Back then, this used to be nothing but a pirate's cove, and it was even called Pirate Cove Island. Unimaginative, yes, but that's besides the point. She cursed all of the pirates who were docked here to change into the opposite genders. If the pirate was a man, he would then become a woman. If she was a woman, she would become a man."
Zoro raised his eyebrow. "How does this 'curse' work, exactly?"
"Well, it lasts for anywhere from two months to two years," Konoha explained. "And so for maximum time, Lady Ranko curses us all again at the end of every other month. She is still as powerful as she was when she arrived here because of the Gender-Gender Fruit—the Devil Fruit she ate that gave her these powers. You see, whenever she curses us, we change gender and lose the ability to die, so we can't even escape the curse that way. Also, she can somehow change our genders into a serum for everlasting youth."
"A Devil Fruit can do all that?" Nami gasped. "Amazing!"
"Cool..." murmured Lucy, absentmindedly picking at a scab on her arm.
"Oi, wait," I said. "You said we. So does that mean everyone in this village has had that curse on them? Everyone in this village was once... the opposite gender of what they are now, and can never die?"
"That is right," the man... er... woman?... agreed. "If Ranko was to be defeated, then perhaps our curse could wear off and we would finally be allowed death... but she is too strong. No one has been able to defeat her for fifty years."
"Whoa," said Usopp simply.
Konoha looked to the ground darkly. "The end of the second month is tomorrow. Unless you all leave today, then you will all be cursed, too. Also, all who are cursed are unable to leave this island."
Vivi squealed and jumped back. "Well, I don't know about you idiots, but I'm not going to be here when she comes!"
Mr. 9 nodded quickly. "Let's get out of here!"
"Wait," said Lucy sternly. Everyone looked at her. Her expression was shadowed by her straw hat, making it unreadable. Then she looked up at the doctor seriously. "You said that the curse will end if she's defeated, right?"
"Well, yes, but you can't seriously think you can defeat her. It's impossible, I tell you—"
"We're pirate!" Lucy cut him off, grinning. "We'll defeat her for you! I'll have to defeat some strong people if I wanna be the pirate queen, anyway! Might as well start out with this Ranko weirdo."
Silence.
"Oi, wait, Luce!" I protested. "If we try to fight her, we might be cursed to change into the opposite gender, too! Plus we'll be unable to leave even if we do defeat her!"
She hit her palm with her fist. "Oh, I get it. She's a mystery lady!"
My eye twitched at her naivety.
"Well, that's not quite true." Konoha spoke up. I blinked and raised my eyebrow at him. "Um, well, whenever she comes down from her castle, she always brags about how no one can beat her, and that if someone did manage to beat her, then she'd lift just the part of her curse that keeps them on this island—if they got hit by the curse, that is."
"It's settled then. Let's go."
"NO WAY, YOU IDIOT!" We all screamed at her, except Sanji, who was busy imagining all of the things he could do to himself if he was a girl.
She pouted and turned on the puppy dog eyes. My eye twitched. She was seriously cute like this. It was taking all of my willpower just to look away. "Come ooon!" she complained. "I'm the captain! You guys should do what I say. Meanies."
Now she's pulling that trump card?!
"... She's right," Zoro grumbled, though he clearly didn't look happy about it. "Yosh. Let's do it this way. We'll draw straws to see who gets to stay. The one with the shortest straw goes. Sanji can't do it because he has to cook us lunch."
"EH!?" Sanji roared, tic-pulsing and erupting into blue flames. "WHAT WAS THAT, YOU MARIMO?"
"SHUT UP, ERO-COOK!"
"BROKEN COMPASS!"
"DARTBOARD!"
My fist clenched and unclenched. Nami and I both tic-pulsed, then shouted in unison, "BOTH OF YOU SHUT YOUR TRAPS!"
They froze under the navigator's glare and went back to what they'd been doing before. Sanji stirred the stew he was making while Zoro pulled out four straws (one for him, me, Nami, and Usopp; Lucy didn't need one since she already wanted to go) from his back pocket. I vaguely wondered why he had those at all, but decided it wasn't important. Nami, Usopp and I each selected a straw, leaving Zoro with the remaining one. When we unfurled our hands, everyone had long straws... except for me. Nami sighed in relief.
The swordsman clapped me on the back, smirking. "See ya, Aqua."
Sanji glared at me. "If you let anything happen to my beloved Lucy-chan, I'm gonna kick your ass into next week, got it!?"
"If you get cursed, I shall forever mourn your manhood," said Usopp solemnly.
"Shut up, bastards," I grumbled, my eye twitching.