The silence was excruciatingly loud at the right side of the smoking area where only Hamin and Siwoo stood there. Wind gustling, traffic noise and the sound of people walking in and out were the only ones that could be heard after Hamin dropped his question. Hamin blushed slightly then covered his face with his palms. He didn't mean what Siwoo thought it was, it just came out wrong since it was out of the blue. "Hamin... Surely you're not asking me that here?"
"No! I have no other intentions! The art piece you left last time... do you wanna see them? Or you can get someone to pick it up... " Hamin paused before continuing, "Just see them for yourself. I got some artworks as gifts so I'm not sure which were your's. I just don't want it to get mixed up." He said and took a puff off his cigarette. Siwoo contemplates, gazing far and thinking hard whether he should go. A space, alone, with Hamin, whatever could happen?
Hamin saw the hesitation in Siwoo's eyes and sighed. "I wanna move... I just want to clear everything... It doesn't have to be today. Or I can take pictures of it and send it to you via email so you know which one is your's." He excuses. Part of it wasn't even that(the house he lives now was purchased freehold, he has no plans of moving anytime soon...) but the majority of why he decided to ask Siwoo that was, he wanted to spend abit of time with Siwoo. He wanted to see if he still has lingering feelings(brother ain't that obvious now?).
Deep down in his heart he knows, even if it wasn't as strong as before, the reason why you hate someone so much for betraying you is because you love them just as much.
He's just better at masking it now.
"It's okay. Let's just get it over and done with. I'm free tonight." Hamin was relieved that he wasn't rejected. He couldn't hide his smile and covered his face again. "So uhm... How do we go about this? Shall I text you the address?" He asks while moving forward to throw his ciggarette in the designated bin. Siwoo took his last puff before standing up and does the same, getting slightly closer to Hamin to reach the bin. "Same apartment complex right? XXX Building?"
Hamin's brain spiralled with thoughts now, his eyes went wide while looking down at the latter. How does he know where I live? Should I ask or act like I didn't hear what he just said? What the fuck? Has he been keeping tabs of me all this while?
Siwoo slipped, he didn't mean to give it away that he knows where Hamin lives. Fuck. Fuck.
"It's not what you're thinking. Paparazzi, I just caught wind of where you stayed due to them. The exact unit? That I don't know." Siwoo excuses himself. Hamin looks up at the sky and thought to himself, ofcourse he would deny, I would too. Siwoo looks away and rummage his hand through his hair, he was donned extra formal today. He was wearing a black three piece suit and his usual metal frame glasses. His eyes were solemn, face stoic and overall he looks exhausted. However, Hamin couldn't fathom the fact that his scent, he's still using the same perfume he does five years ago. The scent was what could be described as vanilla if it was spiced up.
The scent they used to customized together back then. You know, those pop up shop at Seongsu that does personalized scents using personality where you can pick up different scents and fuse it together? Yeah those, it's been five years. The bottle they purchased probably finished by now... So did Siwoo go to the shop and request the same perfume? It smelt so masculine when mixed with the cigarettes.
"Do you still use the same number?" Hamin asks, hands in his pocket now, his palms were sweating due to nervousness. His ears crimson red when he realised that was a possibility. "No, I changed it. I can contact you through your agency."
"Or I can contact you..." Hamin pushes this time, testing the water, seeing if Siwoo would give in which the black haired male did. Hamin had this... persuasive look in his face. Eyebrows raised, lips pursed and those... irresistible puppy eyes thats weaponised to get what he wants. He still has that look on him... Siwoo thought to himself. He sighed first and reached for his cardholder from his briefcase then gave one of his business card to Hamin.
"What time? I only can do after 10pm."
"Works great for me. I have a photoshoot after and can only do after 9pm!" One would have thought there's dog ears on his head with how thrilled he looks.
"Whatever, I have to go now."
"Okay... Bye. I uhh- I'll text you." Siwoo nodded before disappearing the in the crowds, leaving Hamin alone with his excitement.
---
Now that Siwoo reached his company building, heading to his office was a breeze. No thoughts, he was just staring in a daze, not noticing the employees that greeted him along the way. He greets his secretary though and enters his office. He doesn't know what to feel, but definitely regrets agreeing to go to Hamin's place. Siwoo knew that he could have just asked Hamin to send it via delivery. He knew he didn't have to be there, he's fully aware this was Hamin's scheme to get them to be alone since their encounters so far has always been in public, no chance to talk about what happened or debrief.
He also knows about the art pieces he had in their home. He was the one that picked it out, and the only one that purchase it, so why did Hamin ask to identify it? Did Hamin possess his own art collection? Going down to his place personally is risky for both parties and not exactly neccessary... He sighs, whatever could he do about the feelings he have now?
He buried himself with work, legal preparation for the idol group that's debuting under his agency. Signing papers to sue haters for defamation and whatever a Head of Legal and Strategy department does. I wouldn't know, I'm just a writer, what I can tell you is that there's a mountain of paperwork infront of him.
Just then, he received a notification on his phone and saw a text from a new number.
'Hey, it's Hamin. Here's my address.
XXX Building
30-01'
Ding! Another notification. This time, from Younha.
'Don't forget we have dinner with my friends. Don't embarrass me this time.'
Haaaa. He leaned back on his chair, arms resting on the arm rest and look up to the ceiling. Now it just feels suffocating. Which one will he attend. He couldn't bring himself to reply both the texts and just continued working.
He found himself still in the same cycle of having to choose between the two. His secretary knocks on the door and reminded him of the time. He was so immersed with burying himself in his work that he didn't realised it is now 8.30pm. "Thank you, you may go now." He gave his secretary a small smile and stood up to pack his stuff. He left his office and went to the car park.
When he got in his car, Younha was buzzing his phone, sending messages and cussing at him for not replying. Siwoo just ignored and drove off. This wasn't the first time. It was the first out of many where Siwoo brazen himself to actually ignore and let this woman argue with herself. He used to be understanding, yes, she's in a position where their marriage was placed on a pedestal. Pedestal this Younha created to brag about him. I get it, he's hot, hardworking and a literal entertainment agency chaebol but- throughout their marriage, she never let this man breathe.
Him ignoring her text was something he have always wanted to do. He silenced his phone and head home. It was a fast drive, his house was approximately 12-minutes away from his company. The housemaid greeted him and asks if she should prepare dinner. "That's okay. I'm full."
Actually, he wasn't. Since the start of their marriage, that went on for four years, Siwoo lost his appetite. He couldn't eat and was often taking IV and vitamin drips in a private clinic. Of course he eats normal food, like, maybe once every two days? Or nor he relies on coffee and ciggarette, a habit he coped with. He still does eat, during events and family dinner. However, one could describe his eating habit... Similar to a bird. He picks on the food, albeit noone dared to ask why.
Younha just ignored it and scolded him to not eat like that Infront of others.
Nevertheless, his maid still makes an effort to cook everyday she's scheduled to work. Just in case he wanted to eat. If not eaten, she'll pack it in the fridge and throw it in a couple days, when not consumed. Siwoo feels bad that her effort went in vain everytime she spots the maid throwing away the food she cooked but the one time he forced himself to actually eat than willingly eat it, his stomach hurts and he kept vomiting.
The doctor couldn't pinpoint what causes it other than stress and psychological issue. Overwork, overdrive, over-everything at this point.
Siwoo went up to his master bedroom, threw his briefcase on his sofa and took a quick shower. His bedroom is large, half of the walk-in closet was empty as Younha moved out and packed her stuff and at the end of the closet sits his bathroom. He walks out in nothing but a towel hanging on his waist then picked out an outfit. He chose a black v-neck long sleeve cashmere shirt, black straight cut linen pants and a black cap. He wore a wool loose fit jacket and sprayed perfume. The same one Hamin smelled on the rooftop. Simple, comfortable and so Siwoo. He wore his metal framed glasses then took his wallet and phone, which was still buzzing with Younha spam texting him.
Finally, he calls her back. "What the fuck Siwoo! What were you doing not picking up my phone?"Siwoo sighs, he felt relieved she was the one that asks for the divorce though. He can't keep up another year with her.
"Showering, I'm tired I have somewhere to be."
"I told you about the dinner! Don't embarrass me everyone was asking whether you're coming!"
"You didn't even tell me ahead Younha-yah... When are you telling them that we're getting a divorce?"Siwoo asked frustratingly while walking out the door and unlocking his car, which Younha could hear through the phone. "Wait you're out? So you're coming, right?"Totally ignoring what Siwoo asked her. "Alright... Alright I am but for just a while..." He said and hang up.
Totally regretted saying he'll come. He sits in his car, pondering, which one to actually attend? Does he want to be around her friends, donning the trophy husband facade for the nth time or ... Meet the ex he agreed to before his ex-wife even inform him about the dinner she planned with her friends?
He looks down at his watch, the dinner started 30 minutes ago... and the meeting with Hamin is at 10pm. It's 9.23pm right now. Driving to Hamin's place takes about 30 minutes whilst going to the restaurant would only be a 20 minute drive. Siwoo thought hard before whipping his phone out and text somebody.
"I'm on my way."