◆◆
My first night inside the palace. The sun went down, and the sky turned black. Outside the window, a dim wash of moonlight spilled across the spot where I lay. The dorm room for three people was about the same size as the home I used to live in. The mattress was soft, and the pajamas felt as gentle as skin.
Maybe that was why. I couldn't fall asleep easily.
When I slowly opened my eyes, the moon floating silently beyond the window came into view.
'A woman shouldn't bare her skin just anywhere. Understood?'
The moon looked like Go Chaeha's light-brown eyes.
What a beautiful moon.
I pulled the blanket up and covered my eyes. This time, Gowon's face surfaced in my mind—those half-lidded eyes that looked down on me as if I were nothing.
Truthfully, it wasn't the first time I'd received that kind of look. The woman who brought the recommendation letter to my house had looked at me the same way.
Maybe that was why I hated how easily my rough, flimsy heart wavered at even the smallest kindness.
Even though there was no draft like in my old place, my body felt cold. Only after I dragged the blanket around myself like a sleeping bag did I finally fall asleep.
…
The next day, the palace was still quiet and beautiful. Like a swan floating on a lake—graceful above the surface, frantic beneath it.
"Hey! What are you doing just standing there? Aren't you taking this laundry?"
Kim Sera, whose pride must have taken a hit when Go Chaeha ruined her "initiation," was still taking her spite out on me.
I wrapped both arms around the overflowing basket to keep the laundry from spilling. She'd brought something this heavy all by herself just to dump it on me—her personality was easy to imagine.
"My assignment is—"
"Why do you talk so much? I'm just passing on what I was told from above. Oh, and for your information, that's premium fabric, so you'll be hand-washing it. Carefully. With devotion."
Her face was hidden behind the mountain of laundry, but it was easy to picture how pleased she looked.
I craned my neck, struggling, and searched for the laundry room. As it got closer, my steps naturally sped up. When I finally arrived and set the basket down, blood started flowing back into my hands, which had been crushed by the weight.
"You carried all of this yourself? … We usually come collect it."
When I looked around, I saw people transferring laundry onto a large cart with four big wheels.
"Oh—this is premium fabric, so they specifically asked me to hand-wash it."
"Hand-wash? In this day and age, who does that?"
"..."
"You don't need to. We send everything out to a service anyway. If you just leave what you brought, they'll clean it properly according to the fabric."
When I stood there, stunned, a big man who'd been moving laundry let out a hearty laugh—then spoke with a worried look.
"How are you going to survive being that clueless? This palace is crawling with nine-tailed foxes. Be careful, miss."
The palace felt different from anywhere I'd lived.
Where I came from, the environment itself was bad. The crumbling hillside shantytown was bleak—everyone too busy just surviving to care about anyone else. There were plenty of people soaked in alcohol, living on instinct alone.
But here, everything was luxurious, quiet, and elegant—yet nonstop, you could hear the sound of minds turning. People schemed, crushed the weak, and climbed upward.
Was it because my hands had become light after putting the laundry down? Or because my thoughts had grown heavier?
Either way, my feet carried me off again without permission.
The space grew quieter. The interior more restrained. I must have crossed into a passageway leading to the annex beside the palace. The deeper I went, the stronger the scent of flowers became—until it was almost too rich.
Why is there a garden here?
In a section completely separated from the outer halls, an indoor garden lay hidden like a breath, covered by a glass ceiling. The smell of soil mixed with blossoms—an atmosphere unlike anywhere else in the palace.
And at the center of it stood a man.
Light-brown eyes I'd seen under moonlight the night before. A free-spirited blond man who didn't fit the palace rules at all.
Go Chaeha.
I hesitated and turned to leave—only for our eyes to meet.
"What brings you here?"
His blinking eyes stole my ability to answer. My heart thundered.
"I was running an errand and ended up wandering in here. I'm sorry."
Keeping his gaze on the flowers, Go Chaeha replied,
"There's nothing to be sorry about."
His clothes were neat—too neat for someone tending flowers—but his hands moved with startling familiarity. Each time the shears brushed a stem, an unnecessary leaf was cut away at the exact angle it needed.
He looked incredibly peaceful, and I found myself staring at him, spellbound.
"If you want to see, come closer."
At his words, I flinched, as if he'd read my thoughts. Then, pretending to be calm, I stepped forward.
"Prettier up close, isn't it?"
"Yes. It's really beautiful."
"I can't touch the flowers in the gardens outside the palace, so I made a small indoor garden like this."
"Your skill is… wasted on tending only these flowers."
Go Chaeha smiled prettily. Handsome enough that he would have been beautiful even if he'd been born a woman—an exquisite man with blond hair that reminded me of a white fox.
"But the royal family doesn't want it. They're afraid my appearance will leak to the reporters. Publicly, they don't really like me showing up."
"Ah… I see."
The awkward ending made me worry I might have hurt him. People who've been hurt a lot become sensitive to others' wounds.
He stood, walked to the table where he'd been arranging flowers, and wrapped something. Then he returned and placed a bouquet into my hands.
"Take it. It's a gift for you. Thank you for keeping me company today."
Holding out a bundle of yellow daffodils, he was gentle—like the Tall Man.
Could it be him?
Even as I moved to leave, I wanted to stay by his side a little longer.
Thud.
When my thoughts grow heavy, I guess I stop seeing what's right in front of me. I lifted my head at the sensation of colliding with something hard—almost jerking it up.
A face came into view.
Sharp eyes set beneath thick brows, a straight, defined nose, and a keen, sensitive jawline.
Someone I never wanted to meet.
Crown Prince Gowon.
His face revealed nothing. As always, he looked down at me as if I were worthless.
"What are you doing in the annex?"
"I came to deliver something."
Even though there was no wind, my body went cold again.
"Next time you have business in the annex, send someone else. I don't want rats coming and going where I live."
Rats? Is he talking about me?
Disgusting.
Even knowing I was at a disadvantage, I faced him without fear.
"Would you tell my head maid that yourself? I haven't been here long, so no one listens to me."
"You've gotten bold—saying that to my face. Asking me to concern myself with the maids' work."
"If it's difficult, then ignoring it might be another option."
He provokes; I push back.
Gowon's brow furrowed viciously, but this fearless rabbit kept talking—fat and happy right in front of a tiger.
"I will fulfill my duty. No matter where that duty is."
Gowon lifted the corner of his mouth as if amused.
"So. You have convictions too… Then what is the loyal name of a girl who says she'll fulfill her duty anywhere?"
"Sunmi."
"Sunmi."
He spoke my name in a low voice.
And he kept holding my gaze.
Each time Gowon's long, straight lips moved, I stiffened as if I'd met Medusa.
"You will regret what you just said."
Leaving that ominous line behind, he passed me and walked away.
Only then did I realize the stems of the daffodils in my hand had been twisted hard enough to bite into my palm.
◆
Maybe because I'd been moving since early, the day's schedule wrapped up quickly. Fatigue rolled in, but my mind only sharpened.
The murmurs of the palace staff, the thick diffuser scent, even the sound of my own footsteps—all of it felt cheap, so vulgar that I wanted to stop walking altogether.
I need to rest today.
The moment I passed into the corridor leading to the annex, it finally felt as if my heart steadied.
A minimalist space stripped of decoration. No more headache-inducing artificial fragrance. Silence without even a clock ticking. Annex staff kept to the bare minimum.
A space tailored thoroughly to me.
Thud.
Who walks so carelessly without looking where they're going?
The moment I saw that pale, thin girl's face, that familiar irritation stirred inside me again. As always, I didn't let it show.
"What are you doing in the annex?"
"I came to deliver something."
With eyes that clear, she lies so easily.
I don't believe a word she says.
The annex is my space. Which means every movement inside it gets reported to me—even petty errands.
"Next time you have business in the annex, send someone else. I don't want rats coming and going where I live."
I turned as if that should be enough for her to understand—then she spoke. Fearless.
"Would you tell my head maid that yourself? I haven't been here long, so no one listens to me."
"You've gotten bold—saying that to my face. Asking me to concern myself with the maids' work."
"If it's difficult, then ignoring it might be another option."
For a moment, it occurred to me that my expression might slip.
This girl tries to drag out the parts of me I keep hidden—every time—wearing that shameless face.
"I will fulfill my duty. No matter where that duty is."
"So. You have convictions too… Then what is the loyal name of a girl who says she'll fulfill her duty anywhere?"
"Sunmi."
"Sunmi."
I rolled those short syllables through my mind once more.
An unpermitted attitude. An unpermitted gaze. More than anything—her indifference, the way she doesn't tense even in front of me.
As I withdrew my eyes, I reached a conclusion.
There was no need to rush. The moment I learned her name inside this palace, the speed of the game became mine to set.
"You will regret what you just said."
I left that last line behind and walked past her, hoping she would chew on my words.
That girl still doesn't know.
That the moment she said her name—she caught my interest.
I won't let her pass by as a blur anymore.
Until she accepts my existence clearly, I'll carve it into her—deeper, sharper, unmistakable.