My phone started to sing a wake up song, one full of defiance and soft push back against terrible things and people,('Don't kill my vibe' by Sigrid). I needed some energy to get moving and that song was like speaking to my soul in the morning, especially on a day like today. I was going to need some energy to get moving this morning, and that song would put enough fight in me to get me up and moving for the day. It would serve to get my beautiful brown ass out of bed but it only went so far. Today was the first day of school, the day I would see what damage was done by my massive freak out this Summer and what price I would have to pay to fix it. My girls were not known for their mercy. By the time I was in the shower the song list had switched to the next song , more indie, hints of melancholy, and most certainly optimistic in tone that only an indie artist would dare bring to bare. My body moved as I worked my hands through my thick dark brown curls washing moisture into the strands and detangling the night's fitful sleep work of tangles. As the night's filth fell from my skin with each run of the waterfall shower head above me and I lathered away some of the nervous energy that was building like a major pit in my stomach waiting for everything to fall apart again. My mind was moving through simulation after simulation of what the response would be and what words I would use to plead my case to Sofia and Amy.
I moved to step out of the shower, to dry and dress. That was never the long part of the day, a decent 15 minutes of shower soaking and rinsing and we were good, so long as I didn't have to wash my hair. Those curls alone could take 30 minutes to work through all the cleansers and conditioners. My hands ran the leave-in conditioner into my hair and dressed before heading downstairs. There were fresh donuts on the table by the time I made it into the kitchen. Mom must have brought them to the house before she went to open up the cafe. And alongside the blessed things was a large cup of coffee and a tray of extras for my friends. God, I was lucky as hell for my mom. Grace Keen is literally the best mom in the world. Looking like an older version of me with the same oval shaped face with a button nose and caramel colored skin with her curl fro looking like salt and pepper all over it, she had curves in all the right places and a smile that could make everyone else want to smile right along with her. She can cook up a storm to make me feel better, but she also happens to be kind and considerate. After what happened this Summer, she pushed me to try and talk to the girls but when that failed she had my back at just taking a break until I had enough spoons to deal with it. She is who helped me come up with a plan of when and how to confront today and everything that was likely to go wrong. Granted, she never stopped reminding me the whole time that communication is the bread and butter of all relationships, her less than subtle way of trying to get me to reach out. When she opened up her cafe here, I wasn't born yet. She and my dad had built it together but...when he left to pursue cooking more high end food, his flash in the pan restaurants and supermodels, who wouldn't actually swallow his food, she was left to run it by herself and raise me all by herself. Which in short made her basically my super hero and a massive foodie. Now they were happily separated despite his claims to the contrary. As my mother would say, the Keens don't do divorce, but that doesn't mean we put up with bullshit.
My hands moved to grasp my early fall gear. My curly fro went just below the tops of my shoulders before tapering off to my gray jacket, open enough to show my new t-shirt with a nerdy symbol impressed into it. My almond shaped and colored eyes staring back at me as I checked myself in the mirror to make sure I didn't look overly stupid in the weather. My jacket hugged my deep curves my mother gave me and tapered in the correct places and let my jeans take over the shaping from there. WIth a resolved shrug, I headed towards the garage with my goodies, carefully packed, to start this possible hell.
For some miserable reason, the weather had decided to be pretty, which made being locked in a school building, for really any amount of time, more than a little disappointing and an unwelcome prospect. Fall was just around the corner technically, but it always seemed to cool just a hair right around the time school started here in Edwardsville, IL, hence the jacket. The cooling could last basically until it decided to drop winter on us and try to kill us by bouncing around because midwest weather was a literal crapshoot. Cold one day, sunny and warm the next were not impossible things, especially anytime around when the weather was supposed to start changing anyway. As I pulled into the parking lot I headed to park in my normal spot, the same one I'd worked to park in for the last 3 years and hope very much to continue for my final year. I grabbed my backpack and my goodies, the coffee and donuts, and stepped out of the Nissan. I was ready. If my friends weren't planning to shun me, they should be here any minute. It was promptly 7:45 AM and parking lot banter normally started sometime between that time and 7:50 AM for our group.
I can wait for them here, I told myself a few times. Eventually, boredom kicked in and I found myself popping on my headphones and tuning into a playlist. I could find a song for every situation. Right now, I needed some hope mixed in with caution, after picking the right song for the moment and promptly setting it on repeat I set it back in my pocket and went back to enjoying my coffee and donuts. My eyes slipped closed fully prepared for my phone to vibrate with an alarm to tell me to head to class. Fully prepared to look down the dark abyss of loneliness, I swallowed hard. Just because I was prepared for it didn't mean I wanted that. I was so caught up in my own thoughts, and my headphones, that I didn't hear the car next to me pull up, turn off, or more importantly the threats that were being hurled at me. It was only at hands gripping my jacket, removing my headphones, and shaking me that I snapped back to the reality before me. Staring at me was Amy German with a look that spoke all kinds of worry and fear. We had been best friends since we'd been forced to share a carnival ride, about 12 years ago. Every kid always thinks they are ready for the biggest coaster the very moment their hair reaches the magic line of height set by the park. We were tall enough, but we sure as hell weren't ready for it. As we were screaming our heads off and holding onto one another for dear life, we bonded. That day, we were just friends, we decided in a silent agreement that we would be each other's shield for the rest of the event. Eventually we talked, we bonded as did our families, and that was that. It is very safe to say we are still not fans of roller coasters.
My gaze took in my ginger friend. Her curls went wild as the wind took them and splayed them around her face. She looked like some old school celtic goddess of war as she looked at me, lightly freckled skin and all, but standing at a towering 5'7 and looking like she just walked off a shoot for some teen fashion boutique.
"Where the hell have you been?!?" The question was more shouted than spoke at me as she gripped my shoulders, "We have been worried fucking sick, why have to not answered any of your socials or texts. We were worried you'd done something stupid over that asshole?" The anger became clearer and replaced the worry the longer she spoke, more like shouted at me.
Finally I managed to speak, more like murmur, "I'm so sorry." The instant the words left my mouth I was engulfed in a hug from my big hearted friend. My arms swung around her in reaction to her hug with one of my own. I was wrong. I wasn't going to tell them that out loud, my pride couldn't let that be. My ashes had turned into lillies. They forgave me for ghosting them and instead welcomed me back into the fold as if nothing had happened. It took me a few moments to allow my brain to get over eating crow about how wrong I was about everything and the venomous reach of that vile creature in human form. It took me a bit to notice my other best friend next to Amy, Sophie Ryueng, looking equally as pissed as Amy had, but mostly clearly wanting in on the hug feast. I shifted my weight to allow her into what was now our circle of hugs.
"I don't care how bad you stupidly think things are, you are our girl. Do not ever go that dark on us again, because I fucking swear next time we will invade your house with no mercy. Now, donut me." Amy isn't one to mince words, she means what she says, which means that I take her threats very deeply to heart as a promise.
With no want to further anger my mini war goddess of a friend I handed over the box of donuts my mother had sent with me. She sent them every Monday morning, along with the coffee. It was our tradition since we'd become the libra trio. Mondays meant, parking lot coffee and donuts.
If there was some hope of pity for my abrasive friendship with Amy, it might have come from Sophie, had she not been equally as pissed. She is our middle ground, the logical between my rational calm and Amy's volatile nature. The fact that right now even she couldn't get her threats out fast enough meant I had majorly fucked up.
"The hell was that? Verona is not that powerful, your dumbass thought we didn't see through her bullshit didn't you? Not all of our are as dense as fucking Anderson. Besides, he's a waste of space. We have hated you dating him from day one. Now, we can rightfully and permanently oust him from our circle. He is dead to us, understand dearest?"
I couldn't stop myself from a small chuckle as I heard Sophie swear, it wasn't really her thing. Of the three of us, she was the proper one, but not by choice. If she had her way she'd be as much of a potty mouth as the rest of us but her parents upbringing weighed heavily on her mind at all times. Standing in at a whopping 5'2 with dark brown hair, and an oval shaped face with almond shaped eyes and likewise coloured hues. her Asian features weren't even a question, simply a fact. She was thinner than either myself or Amy and bore a softly pale skin tone that spoke of a wintery vacation during the mercurial Midwest's Summer. Normally, Amy and I would join her family on their ski trips since they were heavily supervised, and pretty much every parent in our group of friends trusted hers to keep us in line. Especially, if it meant that everyone else would be teen free for even the smallest portion of the summer. Unlike her parents though, Sophie had literally no want to be popular, she'd rather be playing shooters than at some dinner party at the Club, which her parents owned.
"Fork it over Charlie before we wrestle it from you." Amy spoke between bites and sips of her coffee.
A look of confusion passed over my features and my lips parted to try and riddle out what the hell she meant. But Sophie came to the rescue. "Your schedule, my parents...might have pulled a few strings to get us in some classes together when I wasn't allowed to bring you two on the trip this year. One massive fit, and tada." She spoke the words with a smile, but all three of us knew, there would be a cost and that cost was probably her being paraded around like a trophy at another party, with us being required as her companions.
My hands fumbled for my tablet and pulled up my schedule for the day, quickly offering it up to the pair of them as I went back to enjoying my breakfast. We were halfway through when all of us found our attention shifting to a black car pulling into the slot next to mine. All three of us knew whose car it was and for a few minutes all of us were dead silent as our eyes pretended to be daggers at the pair in the car as it stilled. It seemed the pair inside were aware of the thick atmosphere that had formed against them, simply waiting for them to step into the battlefield. I felt uncertain how this would go. And for a few impulsive seconds I debated running, but Amy would either chase me down or tease me to death, literally. I would never live it down. That solidified the giant nope on that idea.
Finally, the male in the car moved to get out of the car, as did his passenger out of her own side. We all knew that car, we all knew that black toyota sudan from a mile away. It was Anderson and Verona. The silence and tension were thick as the pair rounded the car to come stand with our group, both offering up short but polite hellos as they did so.
I watched as the pair came towards us. They looked good together even if it broke me to admit it even in my mind. Anderson Markson was a great many things that had made me fall in love with me. Class President, Caption of Boy's Swim team, a kickass tank in gaming, and my first love. Hair as black as onyx, and striking green eyes a lovely shade of peridot, all mixed in with his softly Japanese features that spoke of his mother's face while his eyes and shape were all his father's American Angelion features. He was as dreadfully handsome and that cut me deeply that my body and mind still reacted to him this way when it should just feel hate and betrayal, there was a navie hope that it had just been a one off, a mistake. I wanted to be stronger than this, be braver than this. I wanted to nothing more to kill those feelings of hope before they casued more damage to my already broken heart. My hope lasted until I saw his hand clasped with hers. Born with mousy features that made her nothing short of a delicate beuty for the ages, and brown hair that showed her chcolate eyes in the best light as it framed her face. Verona, for as much as I hate her, looked at lovely as she was not.
There was a stupid smug look on Verona's face as she made a point to come stand on the empty side of me as if we were still friends and she somehow belonged to our group naturally. My gaze shifted between Amy and Sophie, but it was Sophie's almond shaped brown eyes that bore an apology.
"Her parents are trying to get in with mine. Granted after what I told them about what happened with Anderson, it's safe to say that's on pretty shakey ground." Sophie spoke and her gaze narrowed towards Verona, the snark more than clear in her tone.
It was a well known fact that Sophie's parents loved both myself and Amy, not because we came from the best families but simply because we were good for their daughter in their opinion, and we liked her just for her. The whole thing also caused them to spoil us rotten every damn chance they got, and we knew better than to complain about it, especially since they'd just double their efforts. For them, Amy and I were their daughters right along with Sophie. It's also why they pulled every string in the book to keep us together for as many classes as possible, and they had a lot
of strings in their book.
There was a cruel smile curling on Verona's lips as she opened her mouth. "Well, if you would have kept your mouth shut, we could go our separate ways, but when things don't go your way, or more accurately your friend's way, you ran to your mommy and daddy like the spoiled little princess you are. Can't handle your own battles, not surprising from your little trio."
"You do realize that I am standing right here, right?" Anderson popped up to try and hop into the ring, but as all of us settled withering glares upon him, he promptly backed the hell down from the verbal brawl.
Amy was the first to shift her gaze back to Verona, "We suffer your presence because Sophie's parents request it, it doesn't mean we have to be nice to you. Also, try the pot calling the damn kettle blacker than night. If we are comparing Princess ranks, you are just mad that your rank is so low, your castle needs Sophie's permission to even be planned. So take your shady ass and shut the fuck up. Letting you be around is not the same as being your friend, figure it out." Her attention shifted to lie on Anderson, "You would do well to take this all in silence rather than trying to poke the beehive when we are still stinging mad."
Verona rolled her eyes and moved to reach for a donut from the box still in my hand, to which Sophie promptly moved to block her reach with her body, "These donuts are for actual friends, which you are not."
I inwardly smiled seeing Sophie taking a more frontal approach to things. In our years of friendship since she and her family had moved to town and basically taken over, she'd gone from shy and quiet to a more direct and outgoing version of herself. It was one of the things her parents loved best about her having been friends with Amy and myself, our effect on their daughter. There was a grumble that came from Verona as she retreated to lick the wounds put to her ego. While she could handle dishing it out, she rather hated having it sent back at her. Anderson gave a look at the trio of us clearly not happy with how things were going.
"So this is how it's going to be? Seriously, all these years of friendship down the drain because of my stupid mistake? No one let me explain what happened, or why. It's just been radio silence. We are supposed to be friends. Friends talk things out." He was trying the rational approach, and still our withering gazes found him, from all four of us.
Amy spoke up first, "I don't know Anderson, did you ever apologize? Make amends? Because if not it's pretty damn hard to keep something together when one of the group is a raging asshole. And as I said, the beehive is still raging mad."
There was a silence between the five of us as Anderson seemed to be gripping for words. To be fair, Amy had never truly liked Anderson, something about him always rubbed her the wrong way and it made her prickly just to be around him. Up until our terrible break up she had tolerated his attachment to our group since we were dating. Thankfully, no one had to answer her question, and Anderson could stop his impression of a fish out of water, because our phones all rang in quick succession as the alarm for us to get moving rang. We all moved to start heading in the direction of the front door, it didn't take long for Amy, Sophie and I to reach our home room. The teacher was one of our favorites, Mrs. Challion for literature. She made it a point to not treat us like children since soon we'd be in the wide world of college in lecture halls rather than classrooms. If we didn't have our stuff together by this point when it came to school, we certainly had to figure it out. Mrs. Challion was like that, frank, but relaxed. She handed out the first novel assignment of the semester to the students as she spoke to us about the different rules for this school year, her basic homeroom stuff. It wasn't something we hadn't heard already at registration, nor were the rules something we didn't already know. If you chose this class not knowing your teacher in Senior year, it might be academic suicide, especially with Mirs. Challion. She'd only taught at the school for two years but she already had a reputation for being no nonsense in regards to grading. She would let you sink or fail on your own unless you got your shit together and asked for help.