A little later, in a small cozy women's room:
Well, damn. Who would've thought. No, seriously—in my life I would not have believed how sincere the color of Vess's face was if I didn't know the reason.
"And then…" she squeaked softly.
"And then you reached for the fastenings on my clothes right in the corridor, and I had to knock you out."
After those words, Vess—scarlet like a boiled crayfish and all ruffled—finally crawled completely under the blanket. Meanwhile, I melancholically unwrapped a chewy bar. Why? Because I was carefully holding back my inner laughter!
This whole dialogue started because Vess didn't show up to classes for three days, and alas, I don't do telepathy. At least not like she does. Rami, the pest, kept quiet, but looked at me funny. So I made the most banal but necessary decision—visit her. But to my surprise, I found her trembling, pale, and terrified. After I managed to bring her more or less back to herself, I heard so much self-criticism that I got worried about her mental balance. And then I heard a request to retell everything she'd done. So to speak, to make sure. Well, I retold it. And now I'm looking at the aftermath.
"What a disgrace…" she whispered from under the blanket for the hundredth-something time. No. This won't do.
"Is it a disgrace?" I ask in a melancholic tone and bite off a piece of the bar. Sure, I know self-criticism is good, but everything has its limit. And I'm not letting her sink.
"Aren't you… mad?" came a surprised voice.
"At wha'?"
"Well… I… you… I just… basically forced you. And then… chased you… and almost, right in the corridor, didn't…" the last part was said so quietly. If I didn't have the Force, I wouldn't have heard it.
"Honestly, it's even good that it hit you," I admit frankly, studying the bar with a strange seriousness. This sweet crap helps me pull my thoughts together, because if I look at her now, I definitely won't hold back and I'll start cuddling this embodiment of kawai.
"M-m-m?" A pair of teary eyes peeked out from under the blanket, hope shining in them. Don't cuddle. Don't cuddle, I said. Shade, keep it together.
"As odd as it may sound…" I swallow another piece and set the sweet aside. "But I don't just like you. It's something bigger than that. So there can't be any talk of me being mad." I glance at her, automatically stroking her cheek. "Can it be called love? I don't know. But either way, in my life I wouldn't have admitted it even to myself—let alone to you."
"Why?!" she cried in surprise, completely emerging from under the blanket.
"Because I wasn't joking then. I really don't know how to deal with girls. Being friends and dating are two different things. And I feel kind of awkward when things go in that direction."
Yeah. A girl comes up to you, and you say you'll die in two years and there's no point in building a family. Brilliant. Just bri-lli-ant. Looks like I got a moral trauma, no other way. Or am I just comforting myself?
"But you admitted it to me!"
"Because you started it first. And you started it in a way that I just couldn't say 'no.' I didn't want to."
"And now?"
"And now I don't want to at all! What, am I an idiot to turn away from a treasure like this?" I protest sincerely, turning fully toward her, grabbing her hands and pulling her closer. "In that chase you showed your real self. The one you tried to hide under the mask of a calm, firm lady. Playful, lively, but at the same time gentle and so cute you can just squeeze the life out of you."
"Squeeze the life out of me?" Vess raised her brows in confusion.
"Yeah. Here, look." And laying that чудо on my lap, I demonstrate it in practice. Ahhh… damn. What a bliss!
"From what I can thee, you reeeally like it," she said, and I nodded, still smiling stupidly. "All right, that's enough." She catches my hands, stands up herself, and looks into my eyes. "You're really not mad?" she asks, leaning in almost nose to nose. "It's just… such a disgrace."
In response I just silently licked her nose, then stood up and headed for the door. Damn, it's contagious!
After what I did, Vess twitched her nose so funny and stared after me in surprise that I barely kept from laughing out loud. And only outside the door did it hit me—I left my bar behind!
"All right. Ten minutes until the bell. I think I'll make it…" I nod at my thoughts and head for my stash of "Sweet Joy." Literally "Sweet Joy," because that's exactly what those kids' bars are called.
Vessira... I silently stared at the closed door Shade had just gone through. Expecting anything from him up to a scandal, I was honestly shocked by that reaction. Since childhood I was raised to keep emotions to myself, showing only what is necessary—nothing more. I was taught to keep my instincts under hard control. They told me that to preserve honor and be able to find a good husband, you can't let instincts loose. Unless it's in battle.
But Shade… from the beginning, he was himself. Real. He laughed sincerely, cursed, worried… all of it was real. And around the ребята he becomes even more relaxed. His jokes gain more meaning, and he allows himself to openly fool around. He lives each day as if it's his last. And it shows. Another thing is that if you sit with him one-on-one, you can see a completely different парень. Calm, collected, the one who hides all pain deep in his heart.
Maybe something happened to him? Maybe he was on the brink of death, but survived. On Tython, that could absolutely happen. And if so, it explains a lot. Especially those… feelings hidden deep inside. But… why did he take my breakdown so easily?! I disgraced myself and almost disgraced him before the whole Temple, and he… is just happy! Or does he not care at all? A-a-argh, it's so hard!
But… I really did have so much fun. Maybe… that's exactly what I was missing? The ability to be myself? Not being afraid to show myself, not being afraid of being judged. Just like Shade—he truly doesn't care about anyone else's opinion.
Suddenly my eyes fell on that bar. Strange. It's for kids, but Shade always has them. Mom said such snacks shouldn't be worth my attention. They shouldn't anymore. Hm… out of curiosity I pull the bar to myself and sniff it carefully. Nothing suspicious. The smell is pleasant, sweetish.
I take a bite—and freeze immediately.
"M-m-m-m…" Oh. But it's so delicious! It melts right on the tongue. No wonder Shade goes so hard on them. Togruta, like Cathar, have extremely sensitive taste receptors—especially for sour and sweet products. I want more!
"M-m-m-m…"
More!
"Nom! Nom, nom, nom…"
Yes. He's right. You can't ignore little things like this. Life is definitely more interesting with them. And tastier too.
"Oh!" I don't notice how I finish the last piece. "U-u-u…"
So tasty. And so little. Where can I get more? You can't get them in the Temple, and on Tython in general such bars are a rarity—at least, I've only seen them a few times in my life. Hm… but Shade gets them from somewhere, doesn't he? Right!
"Shade!"
***
A few days later. Dining hall
Master Irbis of the Noghri species... I slowly stepped away from the serving line with a full tray of food. How long has it been since I was here? Five—six years. And despite that, nothing had changed. Just like before, groups of students together with Masters, scouts, and wanderers were picking up lunch. Someone was hurrying somewhere, someone, gesturing активно, shared impressions.
"Eh… nostalgia," I whisper, remembering my own training. I wonder how Master Tsikuna is doing? And where is she anyway? I came to meet a new student, and she isn't here. Well, who am I to judge her?
And I wonder who they'll give me. Hopefully someone calmer—then I can teach him so much, especially in terms of meditative techniques. Oof! First student… how exciting that is. It feels like I was just studying under Master Tsikuna myself yesterday…
Shaking myself, I walk along the tables looking for a place, when my eye catches an anomaly: a Togruta half-blood sat alone at one of the tables. The familiar pigments on his face practically screamed that I'd seen something similar somewhere before, but where… and there aren't that many half-bloods among them; you could count them on your fingers. Hm…
The boy's face expressed such universal sadness that I couldn't help wanting to ask the reason. But that wasn't the strange part. The strange part was that all the students walked around him in a wide arc, and only some greeted him politely as they passed. And those were students. The Masters kept even farther away and tried not to catch his eye at all, and that was truly strange.
If this half-blood had gone over to one side of the Force, he wouldn't be sitting here. If he'd done something outrageous, he wouldn't be sitting here either. Overall, he didn't give the impression of a hooligan or a scoundrel—rather the opposite: he had a fairly charming appearance. So why did everyone avoid him like this?
Curiosity won out, and so I headed straight toward him. The closer I got, the more questions I had. The boy was radiating grief and unhappiness so strongly that the conclusion followed: either he doesn't know how to close off his emotions (unlikely, since they teach that back in Padawan Kesh), or he simply doesn't want to.
"May I?" I get his attention and indicate the seat opposite. The half-blood, without lifting his gaze from the plate, gives a slight nod.
Sitting down, I set the utensils in place and get to it, carefully watching my counterpart. But after a few minutes I can't hold back and ask…
"Padawan, what happened that you've gotten so down?"
"I got robbed of food…" he answered flatly.
"What?!" My brows shot up. He got robbed of food? How? Did I mishear?
"My stash of my favorite bars got eaten, a stash meant for an entire takeda. And one certain person zeroed that stash in one sitting. Where's the fairness in this world?!"
Thud! He dropped his forehead onto the table.
"So you're upset because of some bars?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. To be THIS upset because of… because of… bars?!
"They're not just bars!" he suddenly shouted, springing up. "They're Sweet Joy bars! My favorite treat! And вообще, who are you, uncle?"
Oh. So the boy isn't that simple. He can see he's talking to a Master, but he absolutely doesn't care.
"First, calm down. Right now you're overflowing with emotion, and that isn't good. It can le—"
"I don't give a damn! I'll say it again: who are you and why are you on my case?"
What? How can this brat raise his voice at a Je'daii Master?!
"All right." I set down my utensils and start to apply the Force. "I take it you have zero воспитание. So… stop! Where are you going?!" I genuinely freeze when this неправильный Padawan simply gathers his things and walks away.
"I don't talk to idiots."
… I'm left there, quietly choking, amazed by the astonishing audacity and completely disproportionate rudeness of this Padawan! And, apparently catching something, he stops and explains:
"I asked—twice, mind you—who you are and why you're on my case. And instead of an answer I hear some kind of crap!"
"Because if you, runt, had studied the Code, you'd know that when you speak to a senior you first introduce yourself!" I jump to my feet.
"And where's the senior here? Point him out—I don't see one."
"You—"
"M-me. Hey, you, reptile…"
"Mammal!"
"Whatever. I don't like you. So piss off," said that… that… I simply had no words from outrage. "And yeah, using the Force against an opponent in the Temple is forbidden," he added calmly, turning away. But on that point he was right.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and steady myself.
"All right then. Listen here and remember it, smartass, or else…" The moment I open my eyes to "pronounce" judgment on this insolent whelp, I see a fist. An instant—and it meets my forehead, knocking me onto the floor.
"Using the Force is forbidden. But physical force is perfectly allowed," he added, flexing his fist. And I don't even know what shocked me more: the fact a Padawan attacked a Master (!), or the fact I didn't feel him come in (!). Is he really a Padawan?!
Meanwhile, that type calmly took an empty tray and headed off.
"Stop right there! I'm not finished."
"But I am."
"Why you…!" I sprang up, instantly appearing beside him.
"My lord Master, wasn't that enough for you?" he asked with obvious mockery.
A dead silence fell over the room. No one dared to вмешаться.
"Oh, I've been looking for you," a painfully familiar voice rang out. Turning, I see Master Tsikuna walking straight toward us. Judging by the half-blood's face, he's no less surprised than I am. "As I see, you've already met."
"Huh?"
"What?"
"Come," she turns and takes a couple steps, but… "Why are you standing there?"
"Master Tsikuna, what kind of individual is this, exactly?" the Padawan asks directly, pointing at me.
"How dare you speak in such a tone to a Master—"
"Later, Shade," the Temple Master waved it off. What? She didn't react to that?
"Master Tsikuna, but—" She raised a hand.
"Later! Both of you, come. I'll explain everything now." Exchanging far from friendly looks with the Padawan, we followed her in silence.
A couple minutes later, in the Temple Master's private office:
"So. I'm very glad you met and even found common ground," she began. The boy demonstratively grimaced at those words, and though inwardly I felt the same about him, unlike this хам, I kept my face. "Shade, you know practical training will begin soon, yes?" The Padawan nodded. "Then allow me to introduce Master Irbis. It is with him that you will be walking this path." The boy began quietly cursing, and, judging by the sound, not in Togruta. "Master Irbis, I present your new student—Shade Aero. In one takeda you will take over his training in my place." Strangely enough, for the first time in a long while, I wanted to curse too.
"But Master!" we both exclaimed out loud.
"This decision wasn't mine, but the Council's." We froze with our mouths open. "Well then, Shade, you may go to your lessons. And you, Master Irbis, I'll ask you to stay."
"Of course. All the best, Master Tsikuna." The Padawan bowed politely and left. I didn't understand—why does this хам behave like that? Sucking up? Doesn't look like it. Maybe she has leverage on him? That seems more likely. But that doesn't fit Master Tsikuna.
"Irbis?" she called when the door closed.
"Teacher, if this is a joke, it isn't funny at all. Where did you even find this wretch who somehow ended up among the Padawans?" Strangely, some bloodlust drifted from somewhere—toward my blood.
"Irbis. First, I strongly advise you not to speak about him like that, for your own safety." My brow rose in surprise. Is there really someone the Temple Master fears that much? "Second, do you remember Aala?"
"Hm… your friend? Of course I do! The first Je'daii in my memory who eliminates threats so radically. Brr… I wouldn't want to run into her."
"That's unlikely, because her surname is Aero."
"And so?.. Wait!" It hit me. "And that boy's name is Shade A… a-a-a?!" My face slowly stretched.
"Yes. That is her son. And note, her only one." I went pale. Questions about the boy's behavior are now off the table. Remembering Aala, I can safely say he's behaving quite well; she once nearly dishonored me. And what kind of madman married her?
Doesn't matter, I'll think about that later. What worries me now is why that spawn was glued specifically to me. That's what I asked Tsikuna.
"As I said, it's the Council's decision. You're to take him for training for a term of one to two years. For him, it will be fieldwork. And stop making that face. Shade isn't as bad as he seems. Yes, he's cheeky, a bit aggressive, willful—but at the same time he's a kind and helpful lad. And if you're an authority for him, he will definitely listen."
"But how do I become that authority when he tells you to go into a Saaral's maw?"
"That's your concern, but I'll give you a hint. He doesn't divide beings into categories—he always looks at your personal qualities and draws conclusions. So I advise you to set the Code aside for a while and try speaking to him at least as an equal."
"But he's a Padawan!"
"And you only recently gained the status of Master, so…"
"Yes, Teacher."
"But overall… he's a very interesting Togruta worth watching, Irbis. His views and aspirations are worthy of attention." She paused. "Now go. If you want, you can stay in your room—it's still free."
"Of course, Teacher. All the best." Bowing, I leave her office. Just think—my first student, and who is it? The son of the most head-broken Togruta woman. Seems the Force decided to test me. Well… we'll see.
***
In the office after Irbis leaves
"I still think that was a very stupid idea. They'll kill each other before they come to an agreement," a new voice rang out in the room, with faintly growling notes.
"Maybe," came the calm reply. "But now nothing depends on us. This is their path. Perhaps they will still find common ground."
"We'll see. Tsikuna, remind me—what was the girl who chased Shade?"
"Vessira. From his cohort. Calm, quiet, caring…"
The Togruta raised an eyebrow.
"…at least that's how the Masters describe her," the Sith added at once.
"Interesting. Has a mentor been assigned to her already?"
"No. Not yet."
"Then it has," the Togruta nodded seriously. "Tell me about her in more detail…"