Aerin agreed to three dates at once by accident.
This was not new behaviour.
It began innocently.
Lady Merrowin had suggested—suggested, she insisted, though it felt very much like a threat—that Aerin "re-engage socially" to reassure the court that the paused courtship process did not mean royal withdrawal.
"You need to be seen," she said. "Casually. Approachable. Alive."
"I am alive," Aerin protested.
"Barely."
So Aerin nodded.
This was, as history would record, a catastrophic nod.
Date One: Mira (Fake Fiancée, Real Calm)
Mira's invitation was simple.
Tea. Garden. Quiet conversation.
Aerin liked all three of those things.
She wrote it on a small card and handed it to him with a smile.
"No pressure," she said. "We can cancel if you want."
He nodded.
The Harem Alarm chimed approvingly.
Date Two: Seraphina (Foreign Maiden, Too Perfect)
Seraphina arrived later that afternoon, composed as ever.
"The council wishes us to be seen together," she said smoothly. "A walk through the east market."
"That's… public," Aerin said.
"Yes."
"…Crowded?"
"Very."
He nodded.
The Harem Alarm buzzed ominously.
Date Three: Elira (Former Assassin, Current Problem)
Elira did not ask.
She simply appeared in his room.
"I am escorting you tonight," she said.
Aerin jumped so hard he hit the bedpost.
"WHY are you HERE?"
"To protect you."
"I have guards!"
"Yes," she said. "I don't trust them."
"You tried to kill me!"
"That was before," Elira replied dismissively. "Now I would kill for you."
The Harem Alarm screamed once, then went quiet like it had given up on life.
"I am learning how to date," Elira added proudly, holding up a book titled
HOW TO WIN A HEART: A GUIDE FOR GENTLE LADIES
Aerin stared.
"…Where did you get that?"
"The library," she said. "I scared the librarian."
That tracked.
The problem became apparent when Aerin realised—
All three dates were scheduled for the same evening.
At the same time.
In different locations.
"I can fix this," Aerin told himself, pacing his room.
He could not fix this.
Instead, he did what he always did.
He panicked quietly and hoped reality would bend around him.
The Plan (Which Was Not a Plan)
He would:
• Have tea with Mira in the garden
• Excuse himself politely
• Walk with Seraphina through the market
• Escape somehow
• Be escorted by Elira without dying
This required timing.
Precision.
And luck.
Aerin possessed none of these.
Garden Tea Disaster
The garden was peaceful.
Birds chirped. Fountains trickled. Mira poured tea with practiced ease.
"This is nice," Aerin said sincerely.
"Yes," Mira agreed. "You look relaxed."
He was.
Which meant it wouldn't last.
The Harem Alarm hovered nearby, quiet.
"So," Mira said gently, "how are you holding up?"
"I accidentally agreed to too many things," he admitted.
She smiled knowingly. "That sounds like you."
He hesitated. "If this fake engagement becomes inconvenient…"
"We can end it," she said immediately. "No hard feelings."
Something twisted in his chest.
"Oh," he said. "Right."
Before he could say more—
Elira dropped out of a tree.
Mira screamed.
Aerin screamed louder.
"I WAS WATCHING FOR THREATS," Elira said defensively, landing between them with knives drawn.
Mira stared. "…Is she feral?"
"Former assassin," Aerin corrected weakly.
Elira sniffed Mira. "You are not dangerous."
"…Thank you?"
The Harem Alarm rang once, sharp and annoyed.
Aerin stood abruptly. "I—uh—Seraphina is expecting me."
Mira raised an eyebrow. "Of course she is."
Elira nodded. "I will accompany."
"No," both women said at once.
Elira frowned. "I read that jealousy is a sign of affection."
Aerin grabbed his coat and fled.
Market Walk Mayhem
The east market was packed.
Music. Vendors. Crowds pressing in.
Seraphina walked beside Aerin gracefully, unfazed.
"You seem distracted," she said.
"I'm being hunted," he replied honestly.
The Harem Alarm buzzed.
Seraphina smiled. "By whom?"
Before he could answer—
Elira appeared again.
From nowhere.
Holding skewered meat.
"I brought food," she said proudly.
Seraphina stopped walking.
"…Who is this?"
"Security," Aerin said.
Elira bowed stiffly. "Future wife."
Seraphina laughed.
Then realised Elira wasn't joking.
The Harem Alarm wailed.
"You're doing this on purpose," Seraphina said calmly.
"I'm really not."
"You always choose chaos," she said.
Elira nodded. "Chaos keeps him alive."
Aerin tripped over a crate.
Both women caught him at the same time.
The crowd gasped.
Someone cheered.
The alarm went silent.
Seraphina released him first.
"I think," she said coolly, "this is where I step back."
Aerin opened his mouth.
She smiled kindly. "You are not ready for perfection."
She left.
Elira watched her go, then turned to Aerin.
"She is graceful," she admitted. "I would poison her if needed."
"No poisoning!"
"Understood."
Assassin Date, Normal Attempt
Elira insisted on dinner.
In public.
"I must practice being a woman," she said.
"You already are one."
"Yes," she nodded. "But not correctly."
She had changed clothes.
A simple dress.
Hair brushed.
Still had three daggers.
"Two of those have to go," Aerin said.
She sighed and removed one.
Dinner was… an experience.
Elira stared at him constantly.
Unblinking.
"Do you want food?" Aerin asked.
"I want to observe you eating," she said.
"That's unsettling."
She nodded. "The book said admiration is key."
She laughed too loudly at his jokes.
Clapped when he cut his meat.
Threatened a waiter.
Apologised awkwardly.
"I like you," she said suddenly. "A lot."
The Harem Alarm chimed dangerously.
Aerin choked on water.
"You don't have to decide anything," she added quickly. "I will simply remain near you forever."
"That's… also not healthy."
She frowned. "I will learn balance."
"Please do."
She smiled brightly.
"I will watch you sleep now."
"No."
The Aftermath
Aerin collapsed into bed later that night, emotionally destroyed.
Lina sat nearby, amused.
"So," she said. "Three dates."
"I need a rule against nodding."
Cassian leaned in the doorway, smirking.
"You survived."
Barely," Aerin said.
The Harem Alarm hovered quietly, glowing softly.
Outside, Elira stood guard.
Too close.
Very close.
"I am normal," she whispered proudly.
Aerin groaned into his pillow.
The kingdom slept peacefully.
Its king did not.