A massive whirlpool suddenly formed on the surface of the river.
With a thunderous splash, two enormous fish each over three meters long, were flung into the air.
Claw marks raked across their scales. One glance was enough for Garfield to tell who was responsible.
"Kurama." He said flatly.
Raising a paw, two golden ropes shot out and bound the flailing fish in midair.
Garfield split a dead tree into evenly sized logs, hauled over two massive stones, sliced them into thin slabs, and tossed the fragments into the river to wash away dirt and debris.
Garfield planned to make stone-grilled fish, a method that preserved the fish's natural sweetness while adding the mineral aroma of heated slate.
Delicious.
As he worked, the process reminded him of another delicacy… cobblestone eggs.
Hot pebbles, egg liquid poured over them, the heat and minerals combining into a uniquely rich flavor.
"This world really is civilized'" Garfield muttered approvingly.
Unfortunately, the Land of Fire had no sea.
Otherwise, he would have asked Kurama to catch a giant octopus and make grilled squid. The thought of tentacles reminded him of the Eight-Tails.
"That guy has a lot of limbs." Garfield mused. "Maybe I should look him up someday. Discuss career prospects."
Before he could continue, two more three-meter-long fish shot out of the river.
Garfield calmly bound them with golden ropes and set them aside.
"Second wave," He nodded to himself.
Now four fish lay neatly on the shore. Kurama surfaced from the river, water cascading off his fur.
"Is this enough?"
Garfield gave an OK gesture.
"Come up. You're done working. Time to wait and eat."
With a flick of his wand, time-saving magic activated. The fish were cleaned as if days of preparation had passed, scales removed, gills cut away, viscera extracted.
The swim bladders were left intact, and the rest was tossed back into the river, where the current quickly washed everything away.
From his pocket, Garfield produced onions, ginger, garlic, chili, and spices.
As he chanted softly, the ingredients peeled and sliced themselves in midair, then mixed evenly with the fish.
After more than ten minutes of blending, the marinated fish settled onto the slate slabs to rest.
Meanwhile, the firewood beneath the stone was lit.
Garfield carefully controlled the flames, heating the slate to the perfect temperature just as the marinade finished soaking in.
Kurama, now fully dry, stared at the sizzling fish. The aroma curled through the air… rich and irresistible.
Saliva dripped.
"Hey," Garfield said without looking up, "Yhe Nine-Tails is drooling."
"It smells incredible." One of Kurama's tails flicked sideways, wiping his mouth.
Pandora and Shōkyū, who had been splashing in the river, wandered over and squatted beside the stone slab.
Four beings waited together… one cat, two foxes, and a dark god.
Garfield glanced at Kurama's massive form and frowned.
'If he eats this in one bite, I'm dead.' He thought calmly.
Aloud, he said, "Kurama, can you shrink down a bit?"
"Yes." Kurama replied. "But why?"
"So you can actually taste it." Garfield leaned closer and transmitted silently, nodding toward Pandora and Shōkyū.
If you eat everything in one bite, don't blame me when they beat you into paste.
Kurama followed his gaze.
His little sister.
Pandora.
An abyss without bottom.
The most terrifying presence Kurama had ever encountered, one that radiated pure death.
"…I'll shrink," Kurama said immediately.
As for his little sister, despite her small size, her strength was in no way inferior to his. She possessed nearly limitless chakra.
The only difference between them was her stature.
Reminded by Garfield, Kurama silently shrank down until he was about the size of a husky, then obediently squatted beside the stone slab.
Garfield carefully monitored the doneness of the fish fillets and asked casually,
"Chili?"
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
Garfield scattered a generous amount of chili powder across the fish.
"Alright," He declared. "It's ready."
Ah!
Woo!
Hey!
Hmm!
The battle for food began.
While the first batch was being devoured, the second pair of massive fish was already marinating nearby.
Garfield multitasked effortlessly, sliding the next batch onto the newly freed stone slab even as he ate.
Moments later, two three-meter-long fish… each weighing hundreds of catties vanished completely.
When it was over, the four non-human beings leaned back, looking only half full.
After another ten minutes, the second batch finished grilling.
Then came another round of carnage.
When the meal was finally over, all four giant fish were gone.
The enormous fish bones were tossed back into the river, where smaller fish and shrimp eagerly gathered for the leftovers.
Everyone ate their fill.
Kurama expanded slightly, now about the size of a cow, and collapsed onto the ground.
Garfield sprawled comfortably on his back, while Pandora and Shōkyū settled lazily on Kurama's head.
"Perfect nap." Garfield muttered.
During the afternoon rest, a head slowly peeked out from behind a distant tree.
Then another.
One black. One white. Like two lumps of coal.
They stared at Garfield, Kurama, Shōkyū, and Pandora for a long time. Then quietly withdrew.
Inside Garfield's soul space, Pandora's voice echoed. "Did you feel that?"
"I smelled it." Garfield replied calmly. "Dark weak aura. Like a stray chicken."
"Why didn't you go grab it and ask?"
"Ask what?"
Garfield asked knowingly. Pandora, however, clearly remembered the old story told by the rabbit spirit Ōtsutsuki Hagoromo.
Garfield was not stupid.
The last time he 'asked questions.' Pandora had beaten him until he was black and blue.
"Hmph." Pandora snorted. "Lustful cat. All heart, no guts."
"I don't understand what you're talking about." At times like this, one had to pretend to be mentally deficient.
Seeing that Garfield refused to take the bait, Pandora lost interest and resumed her nap with a quiet huff.
After spending the afternoon outside, Garfield happily returned to Konoha.
Inside the Hokage's office, he found Senju Hashirama wrapped in bandages from head to toe.
"Dude." Garfield asked bluntly, "What happened to you?"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Hashirama responded with an inhuman wail.
Tobirama sighed and explained calmly, "My brother was beaten by his wife again."
"Tsk tsk tsk," Garfield shook his head. "What a tragedy."
"Hashirama, I'm telling you, if you're going to be the head of a family, you should learn from my elder brother."
"Elder brother?" Hashirama blinked. "Who?"
Garfield puffed out his chest. "He wields a trident. Guardian of the deep sea."
"King of the Seven Oceans. A cosmic-level mining professional. Clan head. Sweeper. Veteran driver."
Hashirama and Tobirama stared at him, utterly stunned. They didn't understand half the words, but they understood…
This person was terrifying.
"…Sounds impressive," Hashirama said weakly.
"Yes," Tobirama nodded solemnly. "Very impressive."
Garfield smirked.
My big brother has done many great things, he thought proudly like livestreaming in a utility closet, and slapping his wife's face with his own face.
After following the Senju brothers for a while, Garfield finally asked, "So, why did your wife beat you again?"
Hashirama looked at him with eyes full of grievance.
"Garfield." He said bitterly, "What do you think of Tsunade?"
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
PhantomDream