Dumbledore reached into his pocket, and pulled out what looked like his entire annual salary.
He stared at the empty pouch, then at the orange menace beside him with tears in his eyes.
"Never again…"
"I swear on every star in the sky, I will never take Garfield out for drinks again."
The reason for his despair? The honey beer… all of it, the entire batch brewed by the Leaky Cauldron… was gone.
Devoured by a cat with the appetite of a drunken warlock.
And Garfield was still not satisfied.
He rubbed his soft, rounded belly, gave an audible mew of contentment, and turned toward the bar.
"Boss, how about a discount? Meow."
Tom blinked. "...What?"
Garfield reached into Dumbledore's now-ruined coin pouch, pawed out a few coins, and held them up with a smug flick of his wrist.
Tom, baffled but amused, nodded.
"Well, seeing how much you've drunk… call it a discount. You're welcome back anytime."
Smart people are the best, Garfield thought smugly. No nonsense.
He examined the coins, 1 Gold Galleon and 5 Silver Sickles. That should just about cover a wand, assuming today's prices hadn't gone insane.
Garfield purred, tail flicking with anticipation. It was time to hit Diagon Alley.
He rested a paw on Dumbledore's still-trembling hand. "Albus, let's go."
"All right." Dumbledore sighed.
They stepped out through the back of the Leaky Cauldron and into the little courtyard.
Dumbledore raised his wand and tapped the bricks on the wall in a practiced rhythm.
One by one, the bricks shifted, and peeled back to reveal a stone archway, beyond which stretched the winding wonderland of Diagon Alley.
"Remember this pattern, Garfield." Dumbledore said.
"You can open it yourself in the future… or use the Floo to get here if you prefer."
Garfield smiled. "Don't tell me you thought I needed a wand to get in?"
Dumbledore hesitated, not wanting to lend any more money to this cat.
"Er…"
Garfield's smug little smile widened.
Got him.
Dumbledore sighed again, looking so pitiful that passing wizards actually turned to look. Whispers sparked in their wake.
Look, it's Dumbledore!
He's heartbroken… must be about Grindelwald.
Love is love.
True love between men… so noble.
Dumbledore, if he had heard what they thought, would've likely locked himself in his office at Hogwarts and never emerged again.
As they entered Diagon Alley, Garfield's wide eyes darted around.
Shops buzzed with energy, broomsticks zipped in display windows, potion ingredients glowed behind glass, magical devices hummed and whirled.
They passed Flourish & Blotts, the robe tailor, Eeylops Owl Emporium, and shops filled with toads, cats, rats, and other questionable pets.
Garfield paused outside Eeylops, staring blankly at the cages of owls.
...Are these edible?
So fluffy. Probably crunchy.
Might be worth a nibble someday.
He ignored the toads and rats… seriously, what kind of lunatic wanted a toad for a pet? Humans had some deeply disturbing tastes.
Dumbledore noticed his staring and raised an eyebrow.
"Garfield… have your eyes settled on a certain lady cat?"
Garfield didn't even turn to look.
"Shut it, Albus. I'm not that kind of cat. Inter-species romance? Have some self-respect."
They moved on.
At the far end of the alley loomed Gringotts Bank, its pristine marble façade stark against the whimsical architecture around it.
Goblins in tailored suits lingered outside, sharp-eyed and sharp-toothed.
Ugly.
And greedy-looking, Garfield noted.
He shuddered dramatically.
If it weren't for Old Albus holding him back, he might have stormed Gringotts himself.
Tear open the vaults.
Free the shiny prisoners from their underground tombs.
Liberate the dragons.
Redistribute wealth.
Viva la revolution.
But no. Patience.
There were things to do first… important things.
Like…
Kick Captain America in his patriotic behind.
Snatch the Eye of Agamotto from Doctor Strange and not return it.
Borrow a suit from Tony Stark, preferably the newest model.
Catch young Tom Riddle and hang him from a chandelier.
Visit the Nine-Tails.
Woo Yoruichi Shihouin. (She did turn into a black cat, after all. That's basically destiny.)
Garfield's mouth watered at the thought of devouring a whole Neptunian beast.
So much meat… one bite might last a week…
He wiped the corner of his mouth with a paw, tail twitching with dreams.
Dumbledore glanced down at Garfield and sighed.
The way the cat's eyes gleamed, fixated on Gringotts like it was a dragon's hoard, set off every internal alarm he had.
"Garfield."
"Gringotts is filled with magical traps. Goblins may be short, but their magic isn't. And every vault in there belongs to a wizard with more gold than sense."
"So, please… don't do anything reckless."
Garfield puffed out his furry chest and smacked a paw to it with pride.
"Relax, Albus. We're not here to rob a bank… today."
"Take me to Ollivander's, yeah? I need a wand. Meow."
Dumbledore gave him a look that said 'I'm already regretting this' but nodded and led the way.
Soon, they arrived at a narrow, slightly crooked shop. Above the door hung a fading sign that still stood proud.
Ollivander's – Makers of Fine Wands Since 382 B.C.
The bell over the door jingled as Dumbledore pushed it open. Dust floated lazily through the warm, wand-scented air.
From the back emerged an elderly man with pale eyes and a knowing smile, this Ollivander was the father of the one Harry would later meet.
"Dumbledore!" He greeted. "It's been too long."
"Indeed it has, old friend." Ollivander's eyes sparkled.
"I still say, Albus, you never should've given up your wand."
"I'll find a solution someday." Dumbledore replied with a faint smile.
"Let's hope." Ollivander sighed and shook his head.
"The magical world might look peaceful now, but the undercurrents are strong. I've got a bad feeling about what's coming."
Garfield, perched confidently at Dumbledore's side, snorted inwardly. Understatement of the century.
If his hunch was right, Grindelwald would stir up chaos across Europe when he escaped, dragging all sorts of maniacs behind him.
Compared to that, Voldemort was an angry teenager with mummy issues.
Garfield blinked.
Honestly, Gellert probably helped start the Second World War from behind the scenes.
Before the cat could add a sarcastic comment, Dumbledore offered a smile.
"Let's get to business, shall we?" Ollivander gave him a shrewd look.
"You're here for a new wand? Has the Ministry started breathing down your neck again?"
"I've got a few excellent spares, nothing like your original, of course, but they'll do in a pinch…"
"Not for me. For him." Dumbledore raised a hand, stopping the flow of words.
Ollivander blinked.
Then he slowly turned to face the orange feline sitting on the counter like he owned the place.
"...You're joking. He's an Animagus?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Tell you a secret—"
"Don't!" Garfield interjected.
"He's actually a wizard who transformed himself into a cat… and now can't change back."
Ollivander stared at Garfield, then shook his head with a low whistle. "Incredible. Wizards never fail to amaze me."
"Still… you do realize this is going to end up in the Prophet, right? Or worse, in Hogwarts textbooks as a cautionary tale."
Garfield didn't bother replying.
Instead, he slowly raised a paw and flipped Ollivander the feline version of the middle finger, a raised toe and a very deliberate look of smug contempt.
Ollivander stared.
Then he burst out laughing.
"Well, that settles it. No beast has that much attitude. You're definitely human."
His expression turned serious for a moment. It was technically illegal to sell wands to non-humans, but this test had confirmed what he needed to know.
"Alright then." He said, heading to the back shelves.
"Let's see what suits you. I'll grab a few options for you to try. Tell me… which paw do you prefer?"
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
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