WebNovels

Chapter 35 - 35

{THIRD PERSON POV}

It's about 3 in the evening when Miles finally reaches the front door of his home.

"Come on, Miles... you can talk about your problems later. For now, just act normal. You don't want to worry your children with your problems..." He lets out a sigh and rests his forehead against the door.

"Pull yourself together, Miles... don't let them see anything wrong, you stupid bastard...." He pulls away from the door and raises his fist.

"Here goes nothing." Miles starts to knock on the door, loud enough for at least one of his children to hear. Miles secretly hopes that it will be Luna who opens the door, but he's not stupid enough to expect that.

After a few more seconds, he knocks again, then hears the sound of footsteps approaching.

When the door opens, it's Saphron who answers. "Dad... you're back..." She takes a step forward and hugs him. "You're okay? Mom said you got lucky and the mission finished fast... but you don't look okay."

Shit... he needs to put on his stoic mask better than it currently is. It's bad enough that Saphron is the one who suspects something is eating at him, but at least it wasn't Noir. He doesn't think he could handle her crying right now.

"Everything is okay...." Come on, Miles. Think of an excuse. Don't let her suspect any more shit.

"It's just that... I remembered that today is... your grandpa's...." His words make his daughter's eyes widen before she hugs him tighter.

"I'm sorry, Dad... I forgot that today is Grandpa's anniversary..." Her voice is muffled against his chest as he pats her back.

"It's okay... it's not like your mom or I put it on the calendar, now did we?" He tries to joke, and thankfully it manages to bring a chuckle out of his oldest child.

Out of all of his children, Saphron is the only one who ever met John. She has a couple years' worth of memories of her grandpa, and Miles sometimes wonders whether she even remembers that time.

If she does, then how much does she remember? He won't blame her if she forgot. He can't remember what he saw when he was only two years old, so he won't blame her if she can't remember her grandpa either. It's only expected; it's been so long.

"Come on, let's go inside. You can tell me all about your trip to the park yesterday."

Saphron nods, and they walk inside.

"Well, yesterday at the park, it was pretty fun. Mordred was holding in her vomit on the car ride, and Jaune had to massage her!" Miles's heart feels like something stabbed it at the mention of Jaune, but he stays silent, letting his oldest child talk about their day as she guides him to the living room.

"Poor Jaune had to be left behind because he was busy helping Mordred vomit her guts out when we finally arrived at the park. I think the trash can was full of her vomit by the end of it..." Saphron chuckles as they reach the living room, where Luna is folding some laundry.

"Mom, Dad's home," Saphron tells Luna as Miles walks over and hugs her.

"You're home, dear..." Luna pats his back and whispers in his ear, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Miles shakes his head, then whispers back, "Not now... we can talk about it later..." He tightens his hug for a moment before pulling away.

"Where are the others?" he asks Luna as he sits on the couch.

Saphron answers while Luna continues folding the laundry. "Jeanne is sleeping with Olivia in her room. Noir was with Blancheur; I think they're playing, but I don't know for sure, Dad. You know what kind of weird games Noir always comes up with..."

"What about Mordred and... Jaune?" Miles asks Saphron, because he really needs to ask Mordred a few things about Jaune. He wants to go out with Jaune today, but it's already late in the afternoon, and he isn't sure they'll have enough time to spend together.

Luna answers him. "Mordred and Jaune are out like usual. You know those two; they're basically joined at the hip. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were twins." Luna lets out a chuckle, and Saphron nods.

"Yeah. At breakfast, Mordred told Mom that she and Jaune had some plans today." While Saphron says that, Miles starts to help Luna with the laundry by folding some of it too.

"Well, I'm going to my room, okay? See you," Saphron announces to her parents before she walks to the stairs and goes up to her room.

After a few seconds of silence, Miles looks up at Luna and asks a question about Jaune and Mordred.

"Did they say where they were going? Any location?" If they did, Miles wants to pick them up. He has a lot to make up for, and he thinks that picking Jaune and Mordred up from wherever they are could be a good start in trying to fix his relationship with them, especially Jaune. He needs to do so much good for that boy. He doesn't deserve a son like Jaune; Jaune deserves a much better father than what he has now.

Luna, as if sensing Miles getting lost in his thoughts, puts her hand on his knee and lightly shakes it. "Hey... get out of that spiral you're slipping into, Miles. I've lived with you longer than I've lived without you. I know what you're thinking, and yes... you fucked up big time, but you're trying to fix it, right?" she asks. Miles feels stupid, because of course she would know what's going on in his mind.

"Yeah... I'm trying to fix it, but I don't know if I'm good enough to fix it, Luna..." He lets out a sigh and rubs his face with his palm. "He deserves better than me, Luna. My dad would kill me if he knew what I did." His mask crumples in front of his wife, because she's the only one he can truly be himself with. She's the only one who knows him at his worst and at his best.

He sometimes feels like he is the luckiest man alive to have met her at Beacon, because he doesn't think any other woman could have been the one for him.

Luna lets out a chuckle. "Does Jaune deserve a better father than the one you've been to him? Yes, he does..." Her words cut him, but he knows what she's about to do. She always does this: first she breaks someone down, then she builds them back up.

"So be the father Jaune deserves, then. I know what you're about to think, and I agree with you. Jaune wants you to train him again. He may not say it, or even hint at it, but I gave birth to that boy myself, Miles. The closest person to him now might be Mordred, but I was the one who held him in my arms first, Miles..." Luna squeezes his thigh.

"...You know I can't do that, Luna....." He lets out another tired sigh. "I can't train him..."

"But you can train your daughters?" Luna raises an eyebrow, and it is one of the things that baffles her the most. Miles can train his daughters, but not his son. He is a little too overprotective of Jaune.

"The others... they can handle the life of a Huntsman, Luna. Even Jeanne, as kind as she is, knows when to stop being kind." He looks at her. "Have you ever seen Jaune angry? Or not kind in one way or another? That boy is like a goddamned ray of sunshine. He won't be able to handle the life we lead, Luna. He'll break if he goes down this path..."

Luna stays silent for a moment before she sighs too. "You think I'm blind, Miles? I know our son is too kind, too loving, and it'll hurt him someday. But that doesn't mean you should stop him, Miles. Let him learn for himself, and we'll be there to catch him if he falls. Isn't that what a parent is supposed to do? Be their children's safety net?" Luna hopes she can change his mind, but she knows it's a futile effort. Jaune having too good of a heart for a Huntsman is not the main problem. The problem is that Jaune reminds Miles of his father.

"...You know I can't, Luna... you know...." He sighs and rubs his face again. "The older Jaune gets, the more he looks like him. I can't bury him too, Luna. Please... don't make me do this..."

Luna looks at Miles, then sighs and pats his knee. "Okay. I won't push you again. But you need to be a better father to him. You failed him the most, Miles."

Luna pulls away and continues folding the laundry.

"As for where Mordred and Jaune are: Mordred didn't tell me, or any of her sisters, where they were going. You know Mordred..." She lets out a soft chuckle and looks at Miles. "She takes after you, you know. She's basically a female version of you."

That manages to put a small smile on his face. "Yeah... I guess she does..."

"Sometimes I wonder how Mordred and Jaune became so close. Do you remember how those two were before... you know... that day?" She looks into his eyes, then sighs when she sees her words didn't lift his mood. "There's never a single day where Mordred or Jaune goes out without it being just the two of them. Whenever one goes out, the other goes too. I wouldn't be surprised if Mordred skipped some of her classes to meet up with Jaune..."

"Yeah... back then, Jaune was basically attached to Saphron's hip. He asked her to dance every day, but now..." He looks down at his hands and sighs. He sometimes thinks he didn't just take away Jaune's dream of becoming a Huntsman, but also Jaune's love for dancing. He hasn't seen Jaune dance at all since that day.

Luna continues. "Now Jaune doesn't dance anymore. I asked Saphron, you know, whether Jaune still asked her to dance..." She goes quiet for a moment before continuing. "But Saphron told me no. She told me the last time Jaune danced with her was the day before you... did what you did..."

"I fucked up."

"Yes, you did."

"I need to be better."

"Yes, you do."

"Can I get a kiss?" Miles looks up and smirks at Luna, which makes Luna throw a shirt at his face.

"No." Luna keeps her expression steady, though her voice sounds amused.

Luna wants to ask Miles what happened on the mission, but she lets her curiosity go for now. She can ask him tomorrow after he's had time to relax today. Sometimes she wonders what her younger self would think of the present. The first time she and Miles met, it wasn't pretty, to say the least. Luna had to beat Miles's ass quite a few times because of how much danger he brought the team into, but slowly and surely, they fell in love. Today, she still has work to do.

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