In darkness that seems to coil around you, where stars and moon have hidden their forms.
Within the bamboo forest swallowed by night, a pure white moon flew about.
＊
Regarding the matter of why I became a child again after doing an Anpanman "Eat me!" motion to my hungry friend.
It's not that I miraculously survived being eaten by my friend. Simply put, I was reborn. The opening of my reincarnation story Season 2. Not a phenomenon that's easy to understand at all.
Last time I was a noble family in the Heian period, but in this life, when I came to my senses, I was in prison. Confined in a dark place with wooden bars, not iron bars. Feeling the walls, they were stone, so it seemed like an underground cell.
Since it was a place without light, I couldn't see anything at first, but soon my eyes adjusted to the dark, and looking around, I saw stone stairs leading upward beyond the bars. But I've never seen anyone come from there.
Things like meals would be delivered when I came to my senses, and when I finished eating, the dishes would be gone before I knew it. Do they clear them while I'm asleep?
I was curious who was doing this, and because the meal portions were small and I wanted to ask for more, I once tried staying awake and waiting for someone to come, but I ended up unable to bear it and fell asleep. After that, I gave up on seeing them.
I do sense people from above, you know. I can faintly hear voices too.
But why am I confined in a place like this? I can't understand it at all.
I don't remember doing anything bad either. Because when I came to my senses, I was always here.
Could it be I got locked up for causing too much trouble?
Well, in my previous life, I did go on rampages with a ball in one hand, or one foot, against sliding screens or my father's coffin. Even if I can't remember, it's not impossible that the troublemaker成分 engraved in my soul went berserk.
Anyway, wanting to know what happened to my friend from my previous life, I aimed for a prison break to get outside. For that, I started strength training. Sit-ups, back exercises, squats, push-ups, various things.
Muscles solve everything. Some great person also said all roads lead to muscle. If you're a man, speak with your back, trapezius!
Once I get out, first let's look for Muzan-kun. I wonder if he's crying after eating me. I wonder if he's still suffering from the doctor's medicine.
In my previous life, Muzan-kun looked so distressed that I had no choice but to let him eat me, but this time I want to properly find something like a cure for him. Because he's my friend. Reaching out a hand when someone is struggling is what a friend does.
The days of repeating strength training with that vow held in my chest came to a sudden end one day.
People who had never shown themselves until now came swarming in, torches in hand.
At the bizarre sight where none of them, men, women, old or young, spoke a word, I, who was mid-squat, froze in the invisible chair position. I was roughly grabbed by the arm and taken away like that.
I was put in a bath, washed all over, my tattered clothes were removed, and I was dressed in something like a pure white yukata or sleepwear instead, and then I was placed in something like a palanquin and moved outside.
In the pitch-black midnight with no moon, everyone was sooooo quiet. No one spoke. I was too scared to speak up either. Save me Muzanemon~!
Without being able to speak to anyone, I was abandoned in front of an unknown shrine in a forest thick with green bamboo. The others quickly returned.
Just as I was thinking 'Huh? What was that?', a pervert appeared. The pervert licked his lips the moment he saw me and sputtered, "A tasty-looking brat." Police officer, that's the guy. This is a crime in progress. Run from the approaching pervert, me!
If it were a busty, seductive older sister, I might have reconsidered, but a bulging muscular man is a no thank you. I utilized the escape skills honed against my father in my previous life and ran through the thick bamboo. But I'm a child and he's an adult. Moreover, a pervert with exploded欲望. I was soon cornered.
"Heheheh, you think I'd let you get away…!"
"...!"
I wanted to shout 'You damn pervert!', but no voice came out. Now that I think about it, during my prison life, I did plenty of strength training but never once practiced vocal exercises. Like this, I can't even call for help. I'm going to get eaten by the pervert!
"I won't hurt you, so stay still… Heheheh, I'll swallow something like you whole."
Huh!!! Swallow whole?!
Ah (realization)!!!! So that's what it was??!! (Despair)
Stop it, don't defile my purity, this Excalibur is for my future bride! It's not a holy sword to be drawn for a pervert! I like women. I want to die buried in huge breasts! How cruel, for my first experience across this life and past lives to be with such a perverted man, it's too cruel!! I've kept my body clean for my future bride!!
God, what did I do to deserve this!! I'll beat you up when I get to the afterlife!
Trembling at the knees from the fear of having my first experience stolen by a man, I fell on my butt in an unsightly way. The pervert approaching slowly, laughing and drooling.
Just as I was about to give up, thinking it was hopeless now── something touched my hand. A nostalgic sensation. Looking down at the ground, there it was, my former companion. Grasping it, courage welled up in my chest.
That's right, I'm not alone. I have this guy.
I glare straight at the approaching pervert.
Muzan-kun's voice from that day replayed in my head.
──Long, long ago, there was an old man named Takeori no Okina.
──He went to fields and mountains to cut bamboo,
──using it for ten thousand things.
Always have Takeori no Okina in your heart!
With the mental shout, the green bamboo that flew pierced the pervert's head!
Did I win?!
If you search through古今 books, you'll know, but the line "Did I win?!" is generally a flag for not having won.
Nevertheless, having accidentally raised that flag, I naturally collected it.
"Grrk, you… you damn brattttt!!!"
Is this pervert's生命力 that of a cockroach, not dying even with bamboo stuck in his head??? Moreover, the moment he pulls out the embedded bamboo, the wound starts to heal. This guy isn't human, he's a mutant! Go back to the American comics world! I'm closing the country! Opposed to Black Ships!
The pervert, filled with anger, lunges; I jump high to dodge. There's no more fear of the attacking pervert. Because, this bamboo forest is already my front yard.
I am the ruler of the bamboo forest. The one who holds Takeori no Okina in his heart.
Using this bamboo forest in ten thousand ways, I will definitely beat this pervert down!
The future of all the world's lolis and shotas rests on this moment, on me!!
＊
To put it briefly, the future of the world's lolis and shotas was protected by hands other than mine.
As if mercy was useless against the pervert, no matter how much I hit or stabbed with bamboo, the pervert wouldn't die easily due to his miraculous regenerative power. Even in the state of becoming the pervert怪物 'Man with Bamboo Skewers in Body', he was still lively.
While wondering what to do, flying through the bamboo forest and pondering extermination methods, a sharp wind rushed in. With a sudden flash, the pervert's head flew off.
A swordsman had appeared in the bamboo forest before I knew it.
"Are you hurt anywhere."
Turning his back to me, the swordsman shook the blood off his blade.
That person sheathing the purple刀身 into its scabbard, I—
thought looked like the moon.
・
・
・
When asked if I had a place to return to, I shook my head with all my might.
Then the swordsman-san thought for a moment and took me to a certain mansion. There were many people holding swords there too, so I thought 'Is it a dojo or something?', but it wasn't.
They said they were demon slayers. What attacked me in that bamboo forest wasn't a lolicon shotacon pervert but a creature called a demon. They make their living exterminating such demons, they said.
A demon's staple is humans. Those who live long, straying from human providence, hate wisteria flowers, and sneak in at night to attack humans. Dangerous monsters that cannot be killed except by beheading with a special sword or exposing to sunlight to burn.
The organization that acts to exterminate such demons and defeat their leader, Kibutsuji Muzan, seems to be them, the 'Demon Slayer Corps'.
That's right, ma'am, it's Kibutsuji Muzan.
It's Kibutsuji-san's Muzan-kun, who was my friend in my previous life.
I wanted to believe it was a case of mistaken identity, but would a凶惡 name like Kibutsuji Muzan be that common?
To think that after eating me, Muzan-kun had been committing such atrocities, I trembled with anger.
That bastard Muzan-kun, he scolds others to his heart's content with a fly-swatting look, saying "Don't talk, don't make a ruckus, don't run around, it's snowing and you're not a dog… what? Sliding down a field with a sliding screen sled? Thinking of your father's feelings makes my own chest ache… it's terribly painful… so pitiful… just go charge into your father's fist on your own and apologize…" and then he himself causes even more trouble in the world than that!
Even if there's the suspicion that his personality changed due to the medicine's influence and it can't be helped, this is unforgivable. Though the root of all evil is the doctor!
Wait, Muzan-kun. This time it's my turn to scold you.
No matter what happens, I'll definitely stop you.
For that reason, I decided to join in this demon slaying. Because sticking with them is more efficient than searching for Muzan-kun alone.
They accepted me, a child aspiring to be a demon slayer, without any opposition. Probably the cause lay in my appearance in this life.
Looking in the mansion's mirror, I found out I was a boy with red eyes, white hair, and excessively pale skin. Surely I was locked up because of this strange appearance.
For a child attacked by a demon with nowhere to turn, they usually find a household to take them in somewhere, but my appearance is like this. No one would appear to take me in. They'd surely find it off-putting.
In that case, it would be easier to live by participating in the perennially understaffed demon slaying.
Moreover, my skin is weak to sunlight and swells up if I'm in the sun for a while. I don't know if it's due to the long underground prison life or what, but when I went out into the sunlight, my skin stung and I was shocked. Like this, I can't even work outside.
It was like that on the way from the bamboo forest to the mansion too. It became daytime along the way, and my skin swooole up tremendously.
I clung to the swordsman-san's back to avoid the sunlight, but as the sun rose higher, that alone became insufficient, and eventually it was so dazzling that my mood and Mustka synchronized. My eyes! My eyeeeees!! I'll never ever shout the spell of destruction even if I see Laputa on Friday Roadshow from now on!
The pain was so great I couldn't bear it and ended up lifting the swordsman-san's haori and burrowing inside; I am thinking I'm sorry for that. I am reeeeally sorry for clinging to his back like a cicada. Thank you, kind swordsman-san who moved me without saying a word.
Due to my appearance of hating the sun that much, when I first arrived at the mansion, I was briefly suspected of "Could he be a new type of demon?" but thanks to the expressionless older brother with the same face as the swordsman-san who helped, saying "It must just be his constitution," the demon suspicion was cleared. Thank you.
＊
I was furious.
I resolved that I must punish that Warring States period's strongest swordsman. I don't know love. I'm an unpopular innocent boy. I spent my time playing with Muzan-kun, kicking a ball. Yet, I was more sensitive than others about the peak popularity of handsome men──
'That expressionless non-smile Yoriiichi bastard! He dared to reject Toki-chaaaaan!!!'
BAM!!!!!!
With a soundless shout, a full-powered strike on the training post.
Again and again and again, I let my anger take over and pounded on the training post.
'No no, Toki-chan is a once-in-a-century beautiful girl, isn't she?! And you reject her in one second! Huh? Haaah?? Even if you reject her, don't you usually think a little? Don't you hesitate?? In one second??? What??? It's not door-to-door sales??? It's not religious solicitation either??? Incomprehensible, meaningless, that bastard is my sworn enemyyyyyy!!!!'
Toki-chan is the daughter of a pharmacy, and saying she was helped by Yoriiichi-san when attacked by a demon before, she特意 comes to the mansion to deliver medicine.
The idol born of the Warring States period. The oasis of my heart. The refreshing剂 in the garden of sweaty men's smells. The cute older sister who dotes on young me like a little brother and sometimes even gives me sweets. That is Toki-chan.
'And that Toki-chan!! You bastard!! You bastard Tsugikuni Yoriiichi!! Is your heart the sea ice of the Okhotsk Sea?! Melt away embraced by the heat of Rio, damn it!! Get hit by samba rhythm!!!'
The training post made of bundled straw begins to crumble, unable to withstand the consecutive strikes.
'No well, it's a dangerous profession like demon slaying, so I know you can't accept confessions! I'll give you a hundred billion-yen让步 and understand!! But there's a way to reject someone, isn't theeeeeere!! Just saying no and leaving without a word, are you looking down on her!!! Are you looking down on the courage a woman mustered with all her might to confess!! I don't know much about this era, but I think it's incredibly… incredibly courageous! For a woman to confess first! That psychological difficulty, it's probably incomparable to the Heisei or Reiwa eras!!'
With the wooden sword containing all that hatred, I drive it heavily and sharply into the training post.
'Damn you handsome guys! This is why handsome guys!! You guys are always like this, you don't understand the hearts of us ordinary men at all! The more handsome you are, the more you think of girls as just butterflies swarming around honey! You laugh carelessly saying "What a bother lol"! You think they're an infinite Bandai that keeps popping up! You idiots, women are meant to be worshipped on your knees with mecha-like五体投地! Listen well, women are noble flowers blooming on a cliff! They are sublime beings you can only touch after overcoming numerous trials and difficulties! There are as many as stars, but you can't reach stars, right! It's the same, it's the same!! I beg you, Shooting Star, beat that guy down!! If possible, focus strikes on his face for a meteor!! Aaaaaah I can't forgive him!!!'
The wooden sword loaded with full-powered anger destroyed the training post. Before the shattered training post, I heaved my shoulders for a moment like a cat after a fight. Then I came to my senses. What am I doing.
What comes after pouring out anger isn't refreshment.
It's miserable shame.
Yoriiichi-san hasn't done anything wrong, you know. He just rejected the Toki-chan I like, that's all.
Yes, it's扭曲 jealousy. My beloved Toki-chan likes Yoriiichi-san, and Toki-chan was rejected by Yoriiichi-san and is crying. Seeing that, I couldn't bear it.
I know why Toki-chan likes Yoriiichi-san too. A handsome young samurai saved her in a crisis, of course she'd fall for him. Because Yoriiichi-san is monstrously strong. Being beside him must be reassuring.
Yesterday Yoriiichi-san sparred with me too, but I ended up unconscious without even knowing it, you know. He was so strong I don't know what hit me to lose consciousness, you know. It was a strength as if struck from a higher dimension, you know.
Aaaaah I wish I were Yoriiichi-saaaaaan~~~~
If I were Yoriiichi-san, I would have cherished Toki-chan and protected her forever. I envy Yoriiichi-san who is loved by Toki-chan. Why am I not Yoriiichi-san.
I wanted Toki-chan to smile, but I can't stand hating Yoriiichi-san who made her cry.
"...!"
Thinking that Toki-chan probably won't come to the mansion anymore made me sad, and tears poured out like Toki-chan who was abandoned by Yoriiichi-san. The sight of me crying after being rejected is too pathetic, I don't want anyone to see. It's a good thing no one is in the training hall, I sniffled, and that was the moment.
"Don't cry. It's unsightly."
A sharp voice stabs my back. Looking back at the training hall entrance, the figure standing there is identical to Yoriiichi-san. You bastard Yoriiichi! I unconsciously went into a fighting stance, but no.
Standing there was Yoriiichi-san's twin brother, the swordsman who saved me before, Michikatsu-san.
Anyway, Michikatsu-san, who looks out for me here and there, has a face identical to his twin Yoriiichi-san but with different birthmark patterns, and if Yoriiichi-san gives off a 'Hmm… (Uh sorry but what kind of face is that???)' feeling, Michikatsu-san has a 'Hm… (Ah, perhaps holding back a sneeze???)' expression, so they're easy to distinguish.
That's right, Michikatsu-san is correct. Crying after losing in love and going mad with jealousy is unsightly. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and take deep breaths to calm my heart. Staring at the sky so no more tears fall, Michikatsu-san nodded, saying "Good."
"─Were you that resentful of losing to Yoriiichi."
Whoa, wait, was it that obvious I like Toki-chan?!
Embarrassed, I slowly nodded. Then Michikatsu-san's eyes opened wide and he gradually, slightly raised the corners of his mouth.
"I see, I understand that feeling."
Huh... Could it be Michikatsu-san also likes Toki-chan...??