Morning unfolded quietly, easing the world from darkness into light. Birds stirred the silence with soft calls, and the sky slowly shed its shadows, turning pale and blue. Dew clung to blooming flowers, petals opening as if stretching awake, while a fresh spring air moved through everything, calm and tender.
Lily stood in front of the mirror, staring longer than usual.
She tugged the sleeves of her hoodie down, smoothing the fabric like it might suddenly change into something better. Denim jeans. Clean. Simple. The best version of herself she knew how to be.
She turned slightly to the side, then back again.
Max sat near the door, tail thumping softly against the floor.
She crouched in front of him and smiled, brushing her fingers through his fur.
"Is this okay?" she asked quietly.
"Do I look… nice today?"
Max tilted his head, ears perking up.
She laughed softly. "You think so?"
For a moment, she almost believed it.
Then—
A blur of memories slipped in.
Not clear faces.
Just voices.
Why do you dress like that?
You don't suit anything.
You're ugly even when you try.
Her smile faded.
She straightened up slowly.
"It doesn't matter," she whispered to herself.
"He doesn't even know I exist."
She picked up her bag, knelt again, and hugged Max tightly.
"Stay here," she murmured.
"I'll be back."
Max licked her cheek.
She smiled, then turned away before it could break.
---
The bus was crowded.
Just like that first day.
Her eyes moved on their own now — scanning, hoping, pretending she wasn't hoping.
Tall figures. Dark hair. Someone laughing.
Not him.
Her chest tightened slightly.
Every day was the same.
She never looked for him around the university.
She couldn't.
Her eyes stayed on the floor when she walked. On her shoes. On the path.
Looking up felt too brave.
Instead, she found him in her thoughts.
In songs.
In quiet moments.
In the spaces between lectures.
"Stop," she told herself more than once.
"This is foolish."
He didn't do anything special.
He was just kind.Helping random girl…
That's normal.
But her heart didn't listen.
Three months slipped by, slow and heavy. Each day, she carried the same quiet hope—that she might see him again, even just once. She searched familiar faces, and waited for fate to be kind. But hope was all she was given. Destiny stayed silent, and with every passing day, her heart learned the ache of waiting for someone who never came.
And still — every song reminded her of him.
Evening arrived slowly, brushing the sky with pink, orange, and soft yellow, as if the day was reluctant to end. The colors deepened, slipping into quiet purple, and birds traced their way home, their calls fading into the air. One by one, lights flickered on below, small and warm against the darkening world. The sky dimmed little by little, until night finally settled in, gentle and heavy at once,Lily waited at the bus stop.
The sky darkened suddenly.
Rain began to fall.
She stepped back under the shelter, hugging her bag to her chest.
Ahead of her, a couple walked by, sharing one umbrella.
She watched without meaning to.
The girl was dry.
The boy wasn't.
He held the umbrella closer to her, pulling her near, his shoulder soaked completely.
Lily's breath caught.
He didn't even seem to notice himself getting wet.
That's love, she thought quietly.
Not big words.
Not promises.
Just choosing someone else without thinking.
Her chest ached.
"Not everyone can do that," she whispered to herself.
"Most people think only about themselves."
And then, softer—
"Like me."
She had never once thought about what he might feel.
She only wanted to see him.
To look at his eyes again.
To stand near him.
She closed her eyes.
I should stop.
I should let this go.
But even as she thought it, her heart whispered something else.
She imagined standing under that umbrella.
Someone holding it above her.
Someone choosing her warmth over their own.
For a second, she wished—
I wish it was him.
The rain grew heavier.
Nothing happened.
She stayed where she was, quiet, soaked in thoughts she couldn't shake.
And for the first time, Lily realized—
This wasn't just a passing feeling anymore.
It was something she was trying very hard not to hold onto.
---
Lia listened quietly, then finally asked the question she had been holding in her chest.
"So… was that the end, Grandma?Your first love?"
Lily laughed softly, a sound filled with years.
"No," she said. "That was only the part where I almost gave up."
She looked at Lia with a knowing smile.
"Sometimes, love doesn't end.
It just waits until you stop running from it."
Back then, I started staying longer at the university.Not because I had friends to wait for.
But because there was a small, quiet place I had found—a corner near the art building where sunlight slipped in gently and no one bothered me.
That place felt like mine.
I sat there with my sketchbook, drawing lines that didn't mean anything.
Not him.
Not memories.
Just shapes. Practice. Calm.
Hours passed like that.Until my throat felt dry.
"…Water," I whispered to myself.
I lifted my bottle.Empty.
Of course.
I sighed, stood up, and walked toward the nearest door, reaching for the handle—
It opened suddenly.
Too suddenly.
I stumbled forward, my balance gone for a second—
And then—
A hand covered my mouth.
Not rough.Not painful.
Just fast.
Another hand steadied my waist, firm but careful, keeping me from falling backward.
My heart stopped.
My thoughts shattered.
What—
Who—
Why—
Before I could even breathe, I was gently guided behind the open door, my back touching the wall. The door closed just enough to hide us.
My whole body froze.
I looked up…And met his eyes.
They were gray—quiet and distant, not looking at me at all. I saw his face clearly then. His skin was fairer than mine, smooth, almost glowing in the light. A small birthmark rested beneath his left eye, delicate and strangely beautiful.
His lips looked soft, tinted like the red of a fresh rose, and as he swallowed, his Adam's apple moved—sharp, noticeable, making my breath hitch. He seemed breathless himself, yet I had completely lost mine.
His black, wavy hair stirred gently with the wind, as if even the air wanted to touch him.
How could someone be this handsome?
And It was him.
The boy from the bus.
The boy I had tried to forget.
The boy my heart never listened about.
His eyes were wide too—panicked, alert.
"Please," he whispered quickly, lowering his hand from my mouth the second he realized I wasn't screaming.
"Please don't shout. Just—just a second."
He leaned slightly, peeking through the small glass panel of the door, his body instinctively shielding me from view.
I didn't understand anything.
My mind was blank.
This isn't real.
This is not happening.
I must be imagining this.
My heart, however, was very real.
Too real.
Too loud. Is this not a dream.
Why is he this close?
Why can I smell him again?
Why does my chest feel like it's collapsing inward?
Except now—He looked tense.Alert.
Nothing like the quiet figure I remembered.
His eyes flicked to the small glass window in the door.He leaned slightly, shielding us behind it.Only then did I hear it.
A girl's voice outside.Laughing. Talking too loudly.
"Hey—where did you go?"
"I just want to talk!"
He exhaled quietly.Annoyed.Tired.Not scared.
Just… done.
I realized something slowly.
He wasn't hiding me.
He was hiding from someone else.
His hand loosened immediately.
"Oh—" he whispered, startled, finally really seeing me.
He pulled back at once, like he'd touched fire.
"I—I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't— I thought this place was empty."
My mouth was free now.But I still couldn't speak.My heart was beating so loud I was sure he could hear it.
Say something.
Anything.
But my mind betrayed me again.
He didn't recognize me.
Of course he didn't.
To him… I was just a stranger behind a door.He stepped back, giving space instantly.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he said softly. "I was just—"
He glanced at the door again.
"That girl… she doesn't know when to stop."
I nodded.
Too fast.
Too much.
Why am I nodding like that?My hands were trembling.
And He noticed.His voice softened even more.
"You okay?"
I wanted to say yes.I wanted to say I'm fine.Instead, my brain said something else entirely,
He smells like that day.
Baby cologne.
Why am I thinking about this now?!
I swallowed hard.
"…Yes," I finally managed, barely above a whisper.
He gave a small nod, relieved.
"I'll go first," he said. "You can wait a bit."
Before leaving, he paused, his eyes finding mine for a brief moment.
"I'm really sorry."
And then he slipped out quietly.
The door closed.
Silence returned.
I slid down the wall slowly until I was sitting on the floor.My heart refused to calm down.
What just happened?
I pressed my hand to my chest.
Why did he have to come back into my life like that…
When I had just decided to let him go?
End of chapter 4