Dear Diary,
This is it.
This is the day I will kill him.
This is the day I will kill Void Reaper.
I am writing this down as a record, to make it feel official and not something I am obsessing over in a deeply concerning way.
I awoke at the appointed hour, out of both normality and discipline. This is a day that will shape destiny after all. Therefore, it only makes sense that as a ruler I treat it as such.
This is not a day where I spent an hour thinking about his smile. This was a day where I reviewed strategy, and the formations my army would take in the coming battle.
This is a day where I am calm.
A day where I am focused.
A day where my thoughts are not revolving around him, like the spindle on a seamstress' wheel.
I made sure to take good pride in my appearance.
I adjusted my hair once, then twice. Then one more time before leaving it alone because now it looked deliberate.
Next, I made it a point to select attire that would be fitting for the gravity of the moment.
Not the armour that screams blood thirsty tyrant, nor the armour that implies hesitation.
Instead, I chose one that implied a quiet finality. A fine touch to what would be the conclusion of our rivalry.
(And not in any way because he had once complimented it for its 'coolness')
Facing myself in the mirror, I decided that now would be a good time as any to practice my opening line for the final battle ahead.
"You should not have come alone."
- Rejected, that sounds too much like an invitation.
"This Ends Today."
- A safe bet, acceptable even.
"So…we meet at last."
-why did I say so?
There is no need for hesitation.
I do not hesitate.
I do not feel nervousness.
Because today was the day I would end Void Reaper.
And finally put an end to this irrational beating in my chest.
Dear Diary,
Void Reaper was already there.
Because of course he was.
He stood wounded but upright, sword planted before him, expression calm in that infuriating way that makes people believe everything will be okay if they just believe hard enough.
Oh, how I hated that expression.
"You came."
I said.
(I try not to think too hard about why I said it like that.)
"As promised."
He had responded, inclining his head like we were meeting for tea instead of mutual destruction.
And we….just stood there.
"This day shall mark the end of thy journey."
I declared, actively trying to break the awkward tension in the air.
"So I have long believed, do not fear, for I have come prepared."
I nodded my head once in approval.
Then he said something unforgiveable.
"I would like to surrender."
I blinked.
"…I'm sorry?"
"I surrender."
He repeated calmly.
Then he set his sword on the ground.
It wasn't dropped, nor thrown.
But placed?
And carefully at that?
I stared at the sword.
Then at him.
Then back at the sword, in case it explained itself.
"You… put that down."
"Yes."
"On purpose."
"Yes."
"That's not how this works."
"I believe it is."
"This is the final battle."
"I'm aware."
"You are supposed to fight me."
"And I have. Extensively."
Something in my left eye twitched.
And THEN?
He…
He…
He knelt.
He KNELT
"I humbly request that you end my life now."
He said sincerely.
"Swiftly, if possible."
I stared at him.
"You're kneeling."
"Yes."
"You're not meant to kneel."
"I find it respectful."
"STOP IT"
"I apologize."
"STOP THAT TOO."
I began pacing because standing still would've felt more humiliating.
"Heroes cling to hope."
I snapped.
"I let mine go peacefully."
"You shout about justice."
"I sent it a thank-you note."
"You're TWENTY-EIGHT."
"I've lived a full arc."
"This is assisted suicide with branding!"
"I prefer 'honourable conclusion.'"
"You are smiling."
"I'm relieved."
My chest hurt.
"…and what about our rivalry? What about this?"
I had said.
That was a mistake.
He looked up.
Smiled.
That same smile that I couldn't stop thinking about.
The same smile that ruined my life.
"You were a worthy final opponent."
He said.
"Thank you for giving my journey meaning."
And it was at that moment…that something inside me broke clean in half.
"I destroyed entire nations for you."
I blurted.
"That seems unnecessary."
"I BUILT MY LIFE AROUND YOU."
"I'm flattered."
"I HAVE A SPEECH."
"I can listen attentively."
"STOP BEING NICE."
"I APOLOGIZE."
"I AM LOSING MY MIND."
And it was at that point, we were swallowed by a portal.
Dear Diary,
We were violently relocated.
We were hit by something flat and loud and offensively bright.
Void Reaper sat up, looked around, and screamed.
"No."
Then louder.
Then: "NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT."
People stared. Devices appeared. I've been told that someone was… filming?
"I LEFT."
He shouted.
"I WON. I DID MY TIME."
I got to my feet, disoriented.
"What realm is this?"
I demanded of him.
He laughed like someone cracking open a memory they thought they'd buried.
"My hometown."
He said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"The place that ruined me."
His hands were shaking.
"This is where I learned that disappearing is easy."
He said.
"No magic required."
He swallowed.
"I didn't want to die here."
He said,desperately.
"I just didn't want to come back."
Then he froze.
Straightened.
Then calm snapped back into place like armor.
"I apologize."
He said evenly.
"That outburst was unbecoming."
I stared at him.
"You endured this place"
I said quietly.
"and still became a Hero?"
"Yes."
He said serenely.
"It was my duty."
There was a pause for a moment, before his next words shattered my world into a million pieces.
"…God."
He muttered.
"I hated that voice."
Dear Diary,
This is where my life fully collapsed.
He told me I had fallen in love with an act.
I objected.
He ignored me.
He told me his name was John.
Then he told me his name was John Smith.
I laughed.
I should not have laughed.
It did not help.
I told him I loved Void Reaper.
He said everyone did.
I asked what I was supposed to do now.
He shrugged.
He called me Alex.
I corrected him.
I told him my name is Alastair
He did not care.
Dear Diary,
To Summarise:
1.) My nemesis surrendered.
2.) My execution failed.
3.) Reality ejected us.
4.) The Hero was a lie.
5.) His name is John Smith.
6.) I am apparently Alex now.
I do not know what today accomplished.
But I shall continue this diary because if I do not, I fear I will go insane.
Also, if anyone finds this record in the future:
Just know…that I tried.