I really, really regret this.
"You do know that you're the one who accepted this bout…aren't you?" Anias said, inspecting me over. "Why did you even agree to this? It's not like you to rise to such transparent bait."
I couldn't exactly tell her that the Esra she knew didn't exist, and so this 'not being like me' didn't mean anything at all. Though…even in my previous life, I was pretty sure it took a lot more to get under my skin than some brat's taunt.
"Something about the way he looked at me really annoyed me." I finally confessed. "I just wanted to wipe that look off his face…."
Anias slowly nodded. "Well…I suppose you certainly have the chane to do just that." It was apparent from her tone that she didn't find that all that likely. Given what I had seen in the sparring ring, I didn't find it all that likely either.
"I haven't even thrown a punch before!" I sighed. "How the hell am I supposed to do anything?"
Anias smiled, reaching down to make sure the armor I'd put on was fastened just right. "The armor will keep you from seriously getting hurt, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. It's just…."
"The armor isn't going to do much to protect my pride." I finished for her.
"Just so."
Anias stood back up. "You know…you have a rather absurd amount of mana. Sure, you might not have the faintest idea of how to use it properly, but a mace wielded by even an amateur can and will still hurt. Especially if you're not expecting it."
There was genuine advice there…at least, there probably was.
"So…hit him when he doesn't expect it." I nodded. "I can do that much." I was pretty sure Damien didn't expect anything from me at all, so that much was definitely doable.
"Just…be careful of his gift." Anias warned. "I don't think he will use it, but if he does, surrender. There's no shame in running from a fight one knows they probably can't win. There is shame in running headlong into one you know won't turn out well for you."
Well, that was just lovely. Just as I was starting to feel a little confident too.
"Don't worry. I am going to run as fast as my legs are going to let me."
The door opened, and Anias and I both turned to see my father stride in. He looked angrier than I had ever seen him, with that anger dissipating as soon as he noticed me watching.
He hunched over in front of me, inspecting my armor in the same way that Anias had. "I'm sorry, darling. I tried to get this called off, but that damned brat of his won't see sense. Apparently, it's not a Lord's place to come between an agreed upon challenge either."
"It's fine, father. After all, I might just end up surprising you."
That got a smirk out of my father before he glanced over at Anias. "Anias, you inspected her mana today, didn't you? Does she…."
Anias slowly shook her head. "She does not have a gift. Or if she does have one, she has no idea how to use it."
My father sighed deeply, before patting my shoulder in a gesture I assume was meant to be reassuring. "It's…fine. That boy didn't seem all that adept at using his gift either. I'm sure it's…just fine."
A manservant stepped into the room. "M'lord…it's time."
My father nodded, turned towards me. "Good luck."
I had a really bad feeling about this.
-------------------------------------------
It wasn't like I knew just how many people worked at the estate, but I was pretty sure damn near all of them had shown up to watch this. They crowded around the sparring arena, standing so close together it was hard to see much of anything past them.
My father and Lord Erik were the only ones seated, the two of them sitting on two regal looking chairs it had taken half a dozen servants to bring out from the mansion.
Damian waited patiently, adorned in a suit of wooden armor just like what I was wearing. He glanced around at all the people watching, looking downright bored.
His gaze only sharpened when he took me in. "There's nobody to protect you here. Maybe I was a little too mean. If you crawl on your hands and knees and say you're sorry, we'll call it even. How does that sound?"
Heat flooded my face, but I still managed to keep my voice steady and sharp. "How about you come up with some better last words? I'd be embarrassed if those were mine."
Damian snarled. Surprisingly, he didn't just charge at me. Instead, his gaze wandered over to my father and his.
My father stood, his booming voice likely carrying even to people that weren't here.
"The rules for this friendly bout are simple. Make the other person submit. Use any means at your disposal to make that happen but do not use excessive force." His tone made it clear enough what would happen if we did use excessive force.
One last weary glance in my direction, and then he shouted out. "Then let's begin!"
My opponent didn't charge forward like I expected him to. Instead, it was almost like he was waiting for something.
"What?"
"Use your gift." Damian taunted. "Use it so that I can crush it in front of everyone."
We both just continued to stare at each other. The crowd was doubtless starting to get restless.
"You…you do have a gift, don't you?" Damian's voice sounded damn near hopeful, as if he couldn't believe he was wasting his time with me if I didn't have a gift.
Anias had already given me a few pointers. I closed my eyes, my mind drifting back to that moment when I'd first touched my mana. Mana coursed through my veins almost immediately. It was a sudden rush of power that almost threatened to lift me right off my feet.
My eyes opened. Everything looked sharper, brighter. Damian was several feet away from me, but he might as well have been standing right in front of me.
"That's not a gift." He finally commented, raising his arms.
"Shut up and come at me already."
Damian did. He charged forward, the distance between us evaporating almost instantly. The blow was aiming right for my head. I only just barely twisted my head away in time. It still managed to graze me. I stumbled back, right as another blow came, this one aimed for my gut.
There was a meaty thump. Pain coursed up my stomach but…it didn't hurt nearly as much as I had thought it would. The pain still stabbed at my stomach, but I'd expected it to feel…much worse.
"What the hell is that look supposed to mean?" Damian snarled.
He took a step back, even as I swung my fist forward. I had never punched someone before, neither in this life nor in the last. There was no technique or skill behind the blow at all. My fist met Damian's armor, and he staggered.
"What the-"
I closed the distance between us, another blow following the first. This one landed right on Damian's side. He raised up an arm, blocking it but still skidding back from the force of the impact.
There was a small distance between us. My gaze drifted towards my hand. Energy and power still roiled just beneath the skin, demanding to be used. My heart was pounding in my chest, loud enough to drown out the surprised mutters from all around me.
"Looks like you're not all bark at least." Damian commented. "That's a lot of mana you're hiding. None of the rumors talked about that."
My fist clenched. My body lighter with something that could only be called confidence. "You can still give up. I didn't even want to fight you that badly in the first place."
Damian snorted, extended his hands out in front of him. Something about the air shifted. The ground beneath his feet exploded, the earth itself coating his hand until they were covered in hard rock. I had seen this before, of course. It looked far more dangerous up close.
"Congratulations. You made me use my gift. For a giftless like you, that's quite a feat."
He was charging forward again. I stepped forward to meet him, punching him before he had the chance to swing at me. Damian raised one of his gauntleted arms to block the blow.
A shudder shot up my arm, extending through my entire body. I might as well have just punched a brick wall. The pain followed a second later. Damian hadn't even started his blow. A mighty fist came and slammed into the side of my head. One moment I was standing, and the next I was on the floor.
My vision swam and blurred, until I could see two Damians standing on top of me. Both looked just as smug as the other.
They leaned down, their blurred forms slowly solidifying back into one again. "Looks like you have an awful lot of mana. A shame it doesn't matter without a gift, giftless."
"Give up." Damian said simply, lifting up my head with my hair. "Give up. I'd rather not beat up a girl who can't fight back, but I will if I have to. So…give up."
"No."
The boy paused as if that was the absolute last thing he had expected to hear. Then, he effortlessly lifted me. I was soaring through the air, almost crashing into some of the onlookers as he flung me around the arena.
I groaned but still managed to rise, at least enough to get back on my feet.
"You think I won't actually hurt you just because this is a spar?" Damian's words had the inflection of a question.
I waited for him to slowly saunter over. I didn't just charge forward this time. Instead, I waited and watched for the subtlest signs of movement. His hips twisted.
The air left my lungs as I fell down to my knees, my hands clutching at my chest. I hadn't even seen him move.
"Give. Up." He said again, this time sounding much more annoyed than he had before. "Or would you prefer I keep beating on you. Perhaps I can't permanently maim you, but I can definitely make you regret ever stepping in here with me."
My eyes met his. Something in his gaze shifted, as if he had just come to a realization that should have been obvious all along.
"This must be why Lady Sera isn't here with us anymore." He whispered just loud enough for only the two of us to hear.
"What?"
"She must have been ashamed. Ashamed of a child who didn't even have a gift. I could only imagine. It's no wonder that she-"
My hand shot out, grabbing his side. I pulled him forward, using all the strength I could muster. There was a crack as I slammed my head into his face as hard as I could. He staggered back, cursing and spluttering. Damian covered his face with one hand, blood leaking past the gap in his fingers.
The pain vanished. My body was steady. I rose on steady feet, stepped forward. The world around me sharpened into a single point, and then it was just the two of us.
"Don't fuck with me!" Damian roared, charging forward and swinging at me with one of his gauntleted arms.
His arm moved towards me almost painfully slowly. I could see its trajectory, and I could simply…step inside and avoid it altogether. There was a brief moment where Damian looked downright stunned, right before I punched him in the face. His face was one of the few places not covered by the armor, and I'd already broken his nose.
Damian let out a crow, and then he fell right on his ass. My legs moved forward and I fell on top of him. One of his arms slammed into my side. I barely noticed. I slammed the back of his head into the arena, over and over again. He flailed and screamed out. I didn't care. His flailing grew weaker, and then there were hands on me, so many and so strong that I couldn't ignore them.
I was wrenched bodily off of Damian. My world grew, and then I could hear the sounds of the people all around me. There were shouts and protests, but I tuned all of them out. Tuned them out in favor of Damian's mutter.
"I surrender... god damnit. I surrender."
I didn't try to fight the hands, not that it would have been possible anyway. They pulled me back. I groaned, a thousand shards of pain stabbing me from every direction all at once. My head lolled to the side. I was fading.
"Get a healer! Damn it! Get a healer right now!" My father's booming voice broke over the haze, though even it had a muted quality to it.
Was I…dying? I didn't remember what my first death had been like, but it couldn't have been much different from this.
Darkness clouded around the edges of my vision, blotting out everything else. Pale green light filtered through as a concerned man looked down at me, his hands radiating with energy.
I ignored him. I ignored everything.
"...won." I managed to force past my lips. I'd won. I'd managed to beat that pompous brat. Maybe…maybe this wasn't so bad at all.
Everything went dark.