Hello!
This is Rex once again!
And I'm here to report my findings after spending a month as a baby... It's awesome.
Not only can I sleep anytime I want, pee anytime I want, or shit anytime I want... every time I cry loudly, I get to suck on those beautiful milkers. Ahem, it's not like I'm lusting after my own mother, but the nanny's a different case entirely.
I've got my mother and a wet nurse taking care of me alternately. No matter how many times I see them, those boobies are definitely something I won't get tired of seeing.
Apart from them, there are also about five maids who keep watch over me through the night in shifts. Well, they're not as beautiful as my mother, but... I can't say they're unattractive either.
Even my wet nurse is quite a looker. I'm starting to wonder if physical appearance is a primary factor for choosing personnel for the mansion.
I guess Father's a "man" through and through...
Oh, right.
Just to add, I still haven't seen my father yet.
From conversations around me, combined with my sponge-like brain's memorization capability and my adult-level thinking process, I was starting to learn the language they use.
From the bits and pieces of conversation they exchanged, I learned that, apparently, he was out on a hunting mission with the fief's soldiers and hunters and would be back in another month.
How dare a father leave his wife and newborn, who was not even a month old back then?
But, well, I guess as a noble, he has his duties to fulfill, too.
Hopefully, he regrets having to leave us behind... if not, then I'm definitely gonna hate that old man I've yet to meet.
How dare he leave my beautiful mother behind and make her feel lonely!
Anyway, back to the topic.
After a month, I also finished appraising everything around me.
That includes people, of course. That's how I learned Mother's name, Aria, and the nanny, Helen. The maids: Frau, Geraldine, Celine, Nikki, and Odette. And finally, the old butler, Thomas.
Of course, appraising them includes seeing their status, too.
For example, Mother Aria had mostly E- to D+ on her stats. It was quite low, but still higher than my array of F-. The others were also mostly the same, having E- to D-. Only the butler had a stat reaching C+, which was his INT.
It was just like my MP and LUK stats: outliers.
Just with this data, it's hard to conclude anything yet, but I hypothesize that most stats of "normal" citizens range from E to D. Having C or above makes them elites. And maybe A and above, legends... Haha, no, that last bit was more wishful thinking.
If having an S stat isn't a big deal, then I'd really start cursing the gods for not giving me any reincarnation benefits.
---
"Y-Young Master...! You can walk already!"
"Amazing! We should let the Madam know!"
"Come over here~! Young Master Rex, over here~!"
Another month later, I finally succeeded in standing up and walking. I'm still roughly four months old, but already walking... that's not too fast, is it?
Anyway, it really was hard to achieve, given my weak knees and wobbly body. Just keeping myself balanced on two legs was as hard as walking down a tightrope as an adult!
…Well, not like I've experienced walking on a tightrope before.
I guess the most relevant experience I had was having a police officer make me walk in a straight line after getting caught drunk driving. That was... fucking difficult. Kids, don't do this at home!
I had to exercise whenever I was awake (which is way too short, by the way) and try to gain muscles in my limbs to support my own weight. I spent months on such a hard workout regimen. One including push-ups, sit-ups, and rolling around!
But with this achievement, I can now definitely explore freely around the house soon enough!
"My little Rex~!"
At that moment, after being called by Odette, my mother arrived. She looked touched as she saw me standing on my own two feet, with tears glistening at the corner of her eyes.
"My son is a genius!" she praised. "I'm sure your father will be happy to hear about this!"
"Bu...?"
Did she just say... Father?
That bastard finally returned?
Right as I was thinking that, a man entered the room with rushed steps. He wore some sort of military uniform, stiff and with medals on the left side of his chest. He had blonde hair like Mother's, but blue eyes like mine.
"Aria...! Rex...!" he called excitedly, smiling sweetly.
*Ptew!*
I spat on the ground when I saw his face.
After all, no matter how I look at it, he's too handsome for his own good!
And I hate men who look better than I do!
Well, given I'm technically carrying his genes, maybe my appearance will get pulled closer to his later...? Not so sure.
"Come here, my little champ!"
The man crouched beside Mother, waving his hand at me. I turned toward him and began to walk... walk... walk... and hugged—
"Da!"
Mother.
"Ahaha, looks like you've been away for too long. Your son doesn't recognize you anymore." Mother laughed as she looked victorious toward the poor, handsome guy.
"It can't be helped. He couldn't even open his eyes yet when I had to leave," he replied, smiling wryly.
Then, with me in the middle, they suddenly... kissed each other.
"..."
Are you trying to kill me with chills from watching you two flirt?
What sort of punishment game is this?!
But little did I know that was just the start of my nightmare.
That night, while I was resting in my crib in the same room as Mother and Father... they started to strip each other's clothes, whispering sweet nothings to each other, and...
Well...
You know...
Anyway! Judging by the intensity of their nightly activities, which continued for a full week without skipping... I might be expecting a younger sibling soon.
...
Still, if they're planning to do the deed, can't they leave me in another room instead?
It's too awkward in here, I say...