Several days had passed since that fateful day.
Since then, Jay had been haunted by nightmares—nightmares filled with Saikopasu's laughter and the image of his mother dying before his eyes. Even while asleep, tears escaped from the corners of his eyes. He would wake up shaking, his chest tight, his breath uneven.
During those days, Jay chose isolation.
He avoided everyone. Family. Friends. Even those closest to him. To Jay, solitude felt safer than connection.
'If I stay alone, I won't hurt anyone… I won't disappoint anyone. After all… I am disappointment itself.'
A familiar presence answered his despair.
Warm arms wrapped around him, gentle and comforting. A soft voice whispered reassurance into his ear.
"It's okay… everything is truly okay. You're not a disappointment. You make me proud… and you'll make your future wife proud too."
Jay opened his eyes and blushed.
Before him stood a beautiful woman. Her white hair shimmered softly, while a faint purple aura surrounded her, obscuring her face just enough to keep it indistinct. She leaned forward, kissed his cheek, then lay down on his bed, extending her hand toward him.
Jay obeyed without hesitation and lay beside her.
'She's always been here… even in my worst moments. She never left. Does she really care about me? …It doesn't matter.'
Jay wrapped his arms around her. She returned the embrace, pulling him closer and pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead.
"I will always be with you," she whispered. "No matter what happens, my sweet Jay."
Slowly, the tension in his body faded. His breathing steadied. Comfort overtook exhaustion, and Jay drifted into sleep.
She closed her eyes as well, holding him as they slept.
—
Yet Jay's mind descended into darkness.
He found himself walking through a cold, silent wasteland. Snow crunched beneath his feet as he struggled to breathe, one hand gripping his chest tightly, as if trying to hold his heart in place.
Then—crack.
Something broke beneath his foot.
Jay looked down.
A skull.
Fear shot through him. The ground beneath him collapsed, and he fell—plunging endlessly into a black void.
Voices echoed around him. Voices that sounded like his own. Hands brushed against his body, then tightened—grabbing his arms, his legs, his shoulders. One hand closed around his neck.
Laughter rang out.
Saikopasu's voice.
Mocking. Cruel. Twisted.
The sensation of something tearing at his body followed, as if a limb were being pulled away. Another voice joined the torment—a soldier's voice, filled with rage.
"Why? Why did you do it?""Why did you take me away from my family?""Why did you kill me?!"
Jay screamed, but no sound came out.
Then she appeared.
Runa—his former love.
She looked at him with disgust, pain, and hatred all mixed together.
"You're the worst," she said coldly. "How could you do something like this? Look at what you've done. You're a monster."
She turned away.
"Never show yourself before me again. Goodbye."
Jay collapsed to his knees.
Tears streamed down his face as sorrow and rage exploded inside him. He punched the wall beside him again and again until his knuckles split and bled.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"
His apologies disappeared into the void.
He kept falling.
His body grew numb. Sensation faded. Even when Saikopasu tore into his shoulder, Jay felt nothing.
Only emptiness.
Only guilt.
"Jay."
A voice called his name.
At first, he didn't recognize it.
"Jay!"
The voice grew stronger—urgent.
Again.
"Jay!"
His eyes snapped open.
He turned his head and saw his family gathered around him, their faces filled with worry.
"Jay, are you alright?" Mary asked anxiously.
He said nothing.
"Tell me… why are you crying?" She placed her hand gently against his cheek. "Please, Jay. You're making me even more worried."
Jay forced a smile.
"It's nothing… I just had a nightmare."
'Damn it… I can't even look at her.'
"Jay," Poul said firmly but gently. "Be honest. I know you're going through a hard time. Let us help you. Share this burden with us."
'Do I deserve this?''This family… this love… this happiness?''Do I deserve any of it?'
"I… I don't… I'm not sure," Jay replied quietly.
Poul clenched his jaw and stepped closer, frustration mixing with concern.
"Stop pushing away your family and your friends," Poul said. "You're afraid to face us after everything that happened, so you're running away. Stand up and face reality like a man."
His voice trembled.
"Share your burdens with me—your father. I failed to protect you. I am a failure as a parent. I admit that. But at least trust us. Trust your family."
Tears welled in Poul's eyes.
'No… he's an amazing father.''I'm the failure.''A failure as a father, a husband, a boyfriend, a son, a friend…'
'I'm a murderer.'
'I broke my family's code. I hurt people. I killed two.'
'How could a monster like me deserve happiness?'
Jay felt warmth for having them—but crushing sadness for being unworthy of them.
'I want to stop crying…'
"I trust you all," Jay said softly. "I love you. I'll try to overcome this… together. But sometimes… I need to be alone. Like now."
Poul gritted his teeth, clenched his fist, then turned and left with Mary and Luis.
Kyrai refused to move.
She sat beside Jay and crossed her arms.
"You're such a troublesome big brother."
"Huh? You're talking like a grumpy old man."
Jay stared at her—then laughed. A genuine laugh.
"An old man? Where did you even get that idea?"
Kyrai suddenly began to cry.
Jay panicked.
"Kyrai? What's wrong? Did I do something?"
She shook her head, smiling through her tears.
"I thought I lost my brother forever… but you're back. I'm so glad you're okay."
Jay hugged her tightly.
"I'm back, Kyrai."
"Welcome back, brother."
'I need to protect my little sister.''I won't give up on life.''Maybe… I can still redeem myself.'
They spent the morning talking until Noa and his parents arrived.
Noa's parents apologized repeatedly for not bringing Jay home, admitting their irresponsibility.
"Do you forgive us?" Noa's father asked.
"Yes," Jay replied. "I forgive you."
Noa smacked Jay lightly on the head with a book.
"Here, idiot! Because you got kidnapped, I couldn't read the new volume of The Beginning. So I bought it for you!"
"Oh yeah?" Jay smirked. "When I get out, we're competing."
"I accept."
'Everything feels normal again,' Kyrai thought.
—
Elsewhere, Poul sat in his office when two Royal Knights knocked on the door.
"We came to inform you," one said, "of an impending war."
"A war that may decide the fate of the continent."
Poul listened silently.
"It will take place in the City of Hell—the Wall City. One of the greatest battles between humans and giants."
"You may die there, Hyou Poul."
Poul stood and saluted.
"I understand."
After they left, Poul whispered:
'It seems… I'm returning to my hometown.'
—
Later, Saint Clarice arrived at Jay's room.
Despite her status, she felt small.
'I'm only ten… yet treated like the most important person in the world.''I just want to be loved for who I am.'
She found Jay crying over a book.
"TB is peak," he muttered.
Confused but curious, she introduced herself.
"I am Saint Clarice."
Jay's heart raced.
'An elf… white hair… red eyes.''This was supposed to happen when I was older…'
They read together. Laughed. Became friends.
For a moment—Jay felt peace.
Yet even then, a whisper echoed deep inside him:
"Why… why did you kill me?"
Jay closed his eyes.
'I'll protect them,' he swore.'Even if I never forgive myself.'
—
Later, Poul stood before him.
"Jay… I have two things to tell you. You've been discharged."
Jay smiled.
"And the second?"
Poul inhaled deeply.
"I'm going to war."
"What?!" Jay froze in shock.
The past refused to let go.
And the future had already begun.