Chapter Eighteen
SPLASH!
The impact awakened my consciousness, only to steal my breath as I realized I was sinking.
Water slammed into my body as it forced its way down my nose, ripping the air from my lungs in a burning rush. Cold wrapped around me instantly, seeping into my skin as whatever little warmth I had left bled out of me.
Fuck... Wasn't I in cave? How am I surrounded by water now?
My eyes refused to open for me to analyse my situation and my body refused to move. All I had with me was the feeling of being helpless as my body was surrounded by ice cold water.
Every inch of my body was screaming with pain. Each pulse felt slower than the last, feeling as if I was approaching my last heartbeat.
Ba-Da-Thump.
My lungs spasmed uselessly, desperate for air that wasn't there, drawing in nothing but more cold liquid that burned all the way down.
[Alert! Alert!]
[Open your eyes, Host! I can't analyse the situation!]
How can a system be this useless... Where is Kaelen? Ugh... I can't die.
[Alert! Alert! Alert!]
[Oxygen levels are dropping drastically! Move your arms!]
I can't... They're sore...
Just as I was contemplating whether "Death by Water" would look bad on my resume, a calloused hand suddenly clamped onto my hair and with a violent, bone-jarring yank that nearly detached my scalp, my head was ripped upward.
I broke the surface like a breaching, wheezing whale.
THWACK!
A heavy palm slammed into my back, hard enough to crack a rib, but enough to clear my lungs. My eyes snapped open, stinging from the high mineral content of the water.
"Gaah! Haaaahh!"
I heaved, spewing out water that tasted of salt. I dragged in huge, ragged gulps of air as my soul to re-entered my body. My vision slowly started stitching itself back together as the blur slowly began to fade and I looked down to check my state.
The water barely reached my mid-chest. In fact, if I simply sat up straight instead of wallowing like a wounded seal, the water wouldn't even touch my navel.
[Ping!]
[Detection complete. The Host was in no immediate danger of drowning.]
The humiliation hit me harder than the cold as the voice of the system filled my ears.
"The House of Valerius has survived three civil wars," Kaelen's familiar voice followed soon after, not even allowing the humiliation of the system to settle before adding more onto it. "Are you trying to set the record for the most pathetic end to a noble bloodline? 'Death by fourteen inches of still water'?"
"Remove your hand," I hissed. My face burned with a heat that had nothing to do with the sun above my head. My voice sounded less 'Great Duke' and more 'Dying Toad.' "Or, I will ensure you never use that arm to hold a sword again."
Kaelen flinched at my voice that carried murderous aura. He blinked slowly upon witnessing this new face of me. His expression turned blank as a fresh sheet of parchment as he immediately retracted his hand. "I apologize, Your Grace. I was merely trying to save you."
Save me, my ass.
"How long have I been out? Where... where are we?" I tried to sit up as a lightning bolt of agony shot through my spine, and I flopped back with a splash. My body felt like it had been put through a meat grinder and then stuffed into a suit three sizes too small.
"It's been seven hours, Your Grace. Well, we're a little more up in the Sear Mountain."
Sear Mountain? The commoners didn't tell me this peak had a name. They just pointed the path and ran away as if I was some kind of carnivorous animal.
I looked down at the clear water. "I see. And why, pray tell, did you dump me in a pond fed by glacier melt? Furthermore..." I gestured wildly at my bare shoulders with my neck as my teeth began to chatter. "Why am I undressed? Don't tell me this a sick hobby of yours, Kaelen?"
"Wha- No! Your clothes and you were covered in pus and blood when I opened the seal at dawn like you asked. The smell almost knocked me unconscious. So, like a good knight, I carried you on my back and searched for a water source to scrub that filth away. And, believe me I kept my eyes shut so tight I nearly went blind while stripping those rags off to wash them. I am a knight, not a pervert. Look there if you don't believe me."
Kaelen pointed a shaky finger toward the small, crackling fire where my clothes were hanging from a spruce branch, dripping.
"I see," I muttered as the heat in my cheeks was slowly being replaced by a throbbing ache, coursing through my body. "My body... it hurts, Kaelen. I can't move a finger."
[Ping!]
[You sound pathetic. Like the two of you had sex last night.]
Seeing how obsessed you are with sex and my single lifestyle and how I can't get a girlfriend. Are you sure it's not you who is pathetic?
...
Yeah. That's what I thought. I would appreciate if you keep your comments to a minimum. I don't like a girl squeaking in my brain all the time.
[Ping!]
[Understood, Host.]
"-our Grace! YOUR GRACE!"
"What were you saying, Kaelen?"
"I was saying you should stay in the pond for an hour more for cold compress. I've also brought Eve berries from the forest since your body looked sore. They are really helpful with swollen muscles and pain. Eat them, and you could probably walk on a broken leg without flinching. They taste like sour dirt, but they work."
I stared at the berries he had taken out his pocket, then at him. He's not even going to hold the fact that I fired him against me?
Ughhh... It would be better if he just did as he was told.
"I... Thank you, Kaelen."
Why... Why does he keep giving me this feeling of a younger brother? It's so unnecessary and foreign...
Kaelen froze as he stared at me in suprise. "If Your Grace is truly grateful, please just rebuild the Duchy. I want the people in the Capital to be so jealous of our prosperity that they choke on their silver spoons."
"Obviously. It's my job," I sighed. My shoulders slumped as I slid deeper into the icy water, letting the numbing cold swallow the pain in my nerves.
Kaelen leaned over and, with the casualness of a stablehand feeding a horse, popped the four berries he held into my mouth.
I gagged. They tasted like dirt, indeed.
"Your Grace has become more reliable," Kaelen remarked, watching me struggle to swallow the medicinal filth.
Did I just get praised from the knight whose sword Veryon pawned off? Wow!
"Don't get sentimental. It's nauseating," I rasped, though the warmth in my chest had nothing to do with the icy pond or the berries. "I owe you for what you did today. When we return to the manor, name your price. As long as it's something in my hands, I'll get it done."
Kaelen's eyes immediately sharpened.
"Can I ask for a raise along with my due pay after you settle the debt? Your Grace has recently been putting himself in a lot of danger. It costs me my beauty sleep."
Since when was this fucker obssessed with money?
"No."
"Oh, come on!" he protested, his face contorting into a look of exaggerated despair. "I haven't been paid in months! Think of my missing salary as a high-interest loan you've taken from the 'Bank of Kaelen.' And, the raise is the interest."
Ever since I've possessed this body, I've never seen him care about money. Why now of all times?
I don't think I've ever judged people's personalities wrong.
"What do you need money for?"
"Personal reasons."
"Kaelen."
"That... Lily..."
What happened to money bank?