Ivyđź’Ž
I managed to get to work without a hitch. It really seemed like Nathaniel didn't remember anything, even though I failed multiple times to pretend that everything was okay.
He noticed my flinches, my hesitation, and the fear in my eyes, and he talked about them. He asked me what was wrong like a loving partner would, but I had no answer for him.
What was I supposed to say?
I knew that I wasn't dreaming. Those loops weren't a dream. The pain I felt during those moments was too real to be a dream.
I spent the whole day in a daze. My students had to snap me out of it more times than I could count, but I couldn't help it. I was lost in thought.
During lunch, I locked myself in a bathroom stall and looked at my hands, the same hands I used to pull the trigger. I pressed my forehead against the cold wall and breathed slowly.
I needed to leave. I just couldn't stand being around Nathaniel for even a moment longer.
But I couldn't exactly bring up a breakup. We all know how badly it went last time.
He texted me towards the end of the school day. It was the same message I received in my first life.
I'm sorry babe. You would have to come to the restaurant on your own. I will send an uber to pick you up so be ready by 7.
I sighed as I read it, knowing there was no way I would be able to miss dinner. But I also didn't want to attend it, I physically couldn't do that to myself.
I was lucky enough that Nathaniel didn't seem to remember anything, but I wasn't so sure that would be the case if I ended up dying again.
When it was time to leave the school grounds, I stayed rooted to my seat as I looked out the window. I didn't want to go anywhere, and I certainly didn't want to go back to that house.
"Miss Peters?" Mary called from her seat. Her backpack was hanging over her shoulders as she looked at me with her innocent, wide eyes. "Aren't you going home?"
I managed to smile at her. "I will. Soon."
"Goodnight, Miss Peters," she said with a wide grin and rushed out of the classroom.
I stayed in my seat for a while longer before I finally gathered the courage to go to my car.
The drive felt unreal. I didn't go home, I didn't even turn in that direction. I didn't care where I was going as long as it was far away from that psychopath.
I didn't know how many hours I had driven for, or how far I traveled, but it was already dusk when I stopped for a break.
I was surrounded by tall trees, in the middle of nowhere. But at least Nathaniel wasn't here. And I finally felt like I could breathe.
I got out of my car and took in the scenery, it made me feel at peace for some reason unknown to me. I leaned against the car and slid down until I was sitting on the dirt. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed softly as I recalled everything I'd been through for goodness knows how many fucking hours.
I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of leaves brushing up against each other.
"Get a grip," I muttered to myself.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, I didn't want to look because I already knew who it would be, but I still took it out anyway.
And as I expected, Nathaniel was calling.
I checked the time, 7:13 p.m.
I'd missed our anniversary dinner, and my surprise proposal.
I didn't answer the call. But then he sent me a message, it was a video. All of my senses were warning me not to open the message, but I opened it anyway.
I was in the middle of nowhere, and Nathaniel couldn't get to me here.
In the video, Mittens was curled comfortably on Nathaniel's lap as he stroked her. She purred softly, and looked relaxed. But Nathaniel had a nasty smile on his face as he looked straight at the camera.
"I sent the uber," he said, "but you never came."
Mittens kneaded its leg.
"I don't know what you're doing on a road outside the city, but I guess you've had a long day. Come back, Ivy."
That was the end of the video. He wasn't begging me, he was ordering me.
If I didn't go back, mittens would pay the price.
I thought hard about it. Mittens was quite important to me, but was I willing to sacrifice my whole life for a cat?
What was I even saying? I considered Mittens to be my own child, so why am I speaking in this way? Am I trying to rationalize choosing my life over Mittens' life?
But it's my life, and I deserve to live and be happy.
Don't I?
It was almost midnight when I reached the house.
My chest tightened as I stepped inside. All of the lights were on, as if they were expecting someone. I'd barely taken four steps into the house when I spotted Mittens sleeping on the floor.
She must've been waiting for me.
I went to her side to pick her up. "Mittens? I'm here, baby. I'm home."
I smiled weakly and brushed her fur back as I waited for her to twitch her tail and give me a sleepy meow. But nothing came out of her.
"Mittens?"
I lifted her in my arms and that was when I felt a sense of unease. She was stiff, and her body was cold.
"No," I breathed. "No, no, no. Mittens!"
I pulled her against my chest and cradled her, as if it would undo what had been done. My eyes caught the bullet wound in her abdomen and I gritted my teeth.
"I came back!" I cried. "I came back like you asked!"
"Ivy," Nathaniel said softly in that familiar cold tone. That made me freeze up, and my wails stopped. I lifted my head slowly and looked at him.
"She's dead," I whispered.
He frowned. "Why are you crying? I cleaned her up for you."
"She's dead," I said a bit louder.
"At least you didn't see the blood."
I got to my feet and yelled. "She's dead!"
Nathaniel's hand met my face as he struck me. The impact knocked the breath out of me as I let Mittens' lifeless body collapse to the floor.
That was the first time he'd struck me. Apart from the numerous times he'd killed me, of course.
"Are you going to kill me with your gun?" I whispered and he let out a laugh.
"That's why you were acting weird this morning. You know."
He brought out his gun and pointed it at me. "Nice acting, by the way."