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Chapter 40: The Sorting Ceremony
Audrey followed Dumbledore into the Great Hall.
The velvety, enchanted night sky overhead stirred a sense of magical romance—
—but the countless floating candles immediately made her worry about one thing:
What if candle wax drips into the food?
The upper-year students were already seated at the four long house tables. The first-years stood in a line before the professors' table, facing their seniors.
"Miss Astray, please join the line."
Professor McGonagall beckoned to Audrey, a rare hint of excitement visible beneath her usually stern expression.
Audrey couldn't be sure whether she had just gained a senior fan, but Professor McGonagall's attitude toward her was unmistakably warm.
Standing among a group of eleven-year-olds, this sixteen-year-old girl stood out far too much—
It was painfully awkward.
That awkwardness, however, didn't last long.
Suddenly, applause erupted from the hall.
"Audrey—!"
"Miss Astray!"
"—!!!"
Wave after wave of applause surged through the hall, forcing Professor McGonagall to tap her wand against her throat, magically amplifying her voice.
"Quiet!"
"The Sorting Ceremony is about to begin. There will be no inappropriate noise!"
With a flick of her wand, a four-legged stool appeared before the first-years. Upon it, she placed an old, frayed, pointed wizard's hat.
The Sorting Hat.
In Audrey's eyes, the hat pulsed with ancient magic. Four distinct enchantments intertwined within it—
Marks left behind by the four founders themselves.
---
The Sorting Hat cleared its nonexistent throat and began to sing.
The moment it opened its mouth, Audrey covered her face in despair.
Oh Merlin's beard.
The lyrics were the same as always—but the melody was identical to her single "Cancer's Melancholy", released last year.
She didn't mind having fans.
But—
A hat being her fan felt strange.
A hat singing her song terribly?
That was crossing a line.
And yet—
The students below began humming along, as if harmonising with the Sorting Hat!
Hey—hey—HEY!
You lot don't even sing the school song this well!
This is outrageous!
And worse—
Everyone knew exactly why the Sorting Hat was singing this song.
All eyes were fixed on her.
To make matters worse, the tattered old hat even gave her a look—
clearly fishing for praise.
Who understands this level of social death?
When the Sorting Hat finished, thunderous applause followed, mixed with whistles and cheers.
The hat fell silent again, waiting patiently.
"This may be the Sorting Hat's most well-received performance in years," Dumbledore remarked cheerfully to Professor Flitwick.
Professor Flitwick smiled and nodded. "Just look at how happy the children are."
Professor McGonagall stepped forward with a roll of parchment.
"When your name is called, you will sit on the stool, put on the hat, and wait to be sorted."
"Hannah Abbott!"
Hufflepuff!
The Fat Friar waved enthusiastically as cheers erupted from the Hufflepuff table.
"Audrey Astray!"
The hall fell silent.
Audrey exhaled in relief.
The sooner this was over, the sooner she could sit down and stop being stared at like a museum exhibit.
She sat on the stool, placed the hat on her head—
and even adjusted it slightly, making sure it sat at a fashionable angle.
"Oh my," the Sorting Hat murmured.
"Another descendant of Salazar."
"Ambition… well, if wanting a life of comfort, leisure, and lying flat counts as ambition, then you certainly have both the means and determination."
"By that measure, you are Slytherin to the core."
Audrey relaxed.
Good. That sounds reasonable.
"But," the Sorting Hat continued, "Dumbledore wants you in Gryffindor. He even threatened me over it!"
"So tell me, Audrey Astray—do you object to being sorted into Gryffindor?"
Audrey thought calmly:
I genuinely don't care. Put me wherever.
"That's fine," she answered mentally.
"Very well—then Gry—"
The Sorting Hat abruptly fell silent.
An ancient voice echoed in Audrey's mind.
"My descendant."
"The one who opened the second magical circuit."
"After all these years… I have finally waited for you."
"They would send my heir to Gryffindor?"
"Outrageous."
The Sorting Hat grinned broadly.
"SLYTHERIN!"
Dumbledore stared, visibly stunned.
He had definitely made a deal with that hat.
Cheers erupted from the Slytherin table. Dorka Yaxley leapt to his feet, clapping enthusiastically, while Prefect Gemma Farley stood beside him, smiling in approval.
As Audrey reached to remove the hat, the voice returned—
"Accept my trial. Find my hidden treasury. Inherit all my knowledge."
Audrey sighed inwardly.
Salazar Slytherin, without question.
The Sorting Hat was a joint creation of the four founders—of course Salazar had left a backdoor.
Slytherin's secret vault?
She wasn't interested.
Voldemort had already opened the Chamber of Secrets at sixteen.
And just imagining centuries of basilisk droppings made her feel ill.
She decided to politely ignore it.
As Audrey walked toward the Slytherin table, the applause softened into reserved smiles and polite clapping.
Pure-blood supremacists welcoming a suspected Muggle-born?
Not strange at all.
Because Slytherins value usefulness.
Audrey Astray was destined to become the most influential singer in the wizarding world.
Being close to her meant power, prestige, and leverage.
Bloodlines were negotiable.
Profit was not.
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From the Gryffindor table came a long, mournful sigh.
The twins had described Audrey as clever, brave, kind, and unconventional.
Surely she belonged in Gryffindor.
Sixteen years old.
A superstar.
Cool beyond belief.
And yet—
Slytherin.
The greater the hope, the greater the despair.
"No—!" Ron cried in disbelief. "Harry, am I dreaming? How can Audrey be a Slytherin?! She's the perfect Gryffindor!"
Harry felt conflicted too.
He'd already developed a poor impression of Slytherin—
—but if Audrey was there…
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad?
"Susan Bones!"
Hufflepuff!
"Terry Boot!"
Ravenclaw!
"Hermione Granger!"
The Sorting Hat hesitated.
Hermione possessed many traits.
Courage.
An insatiable hunger for knowledge.
A ruthless drive to achieve her goals.
In the original world, she rejected Slytherin outright.
But this Hermione—
She adored Audrey.
After some internal debate, logic won.
Learning that Slytherin was unfriendly toward Muggle-borns, Hermione made her choice.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
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"Draco Malfoy!"
Slytherin!
Draco hurried to the table—but the reception was lukewarm.
There was distance. Wariness.
He glanced at Audrey, emotions tangled in his chest.
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"Harry Potter!"
As soon as Harry sat down, he whispered urgently:
"I want Slytherin. I want Slytherin."
The Sorting Hat replied gently,
"Slytherin would help you achieve greatness."
"But—"
It felt Dumbledore's stare.
If Harry Potter joined Audrey in Slytherin, the Headmaster would rip it apart.
And while it didn't feel pain—
Its memories strongly suggested that being torn apart was unpleasant.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
The hall exploded with cheers.
"We have Potter!"
"We have Potter!"
The Gryffindors' disappointment vanished instantly.
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