Mornings at school were always the same.
Noisy, crowded, and full of sounds I didn't really want to hear.
I walked through the gate with my bag slung over my left shoulder, neither too fast nor too slow—just enough not to draw attention. My uniform was tidy but unremarkable. Hair combed, nothing special. Nothing worth looking at.
And indeed, no one looked.
That was normal.
I sat in the back row near the window. Safe spot. From there, I could observe everything without actually being involved. I wasn't an antisocial loner, but I wasn't the type who wanted to be noticed either. Keeping a low profile felt comfortable. Uncomplicated. Undemanding.
At least… usually.
I had just set down my bag when the usual hallway noise suddenly changed.
Not louder—different.
There's a certain kind of sound when someone "popular" walks by. Laughter brighter. Voices a bit higher. Footsteps more lively than usual.
I didn't intend to look.
Really.
But somehow, my eyes moved on their own toward the open classroom door.
And there she was.
Ayaka.
Her straight white hair caught the morning light in a way too striking to ignore. Her blue eyes—clear, calm—moved gently as she responded to her friends. Her smile polite, perfect, always the same.
Surrounded by a few girls laughing lightly, Ayaka walked gracefully down the hallway. Her uniform was the same as mine. Nothing different. But somehow, she still looked… separate.
As if the world had its own lighting when she passed.
And my heart immediately sped up.
Don't let her notice.
Don't let her notice.
Don't—
I quickly looked down, pretending to take a book from my bag. My hands were stiff. Too fast. Too obvious.
Calm. Breathe.
At this school, Ayaka and I were just two ordinary students who didn't know each other. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The neighbor thing was a coincidence.
Breakfast yesterday never happened.
That tea in the afternoon never existed.
I repeated the sentences in my head like a mantra.
Ayaka's footsteps drew closer. Her voice became clear.
"Um, our classroom is ahead, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, just a bit further."
I could imagine her expression without looking—small smile, polite nod. I knew her too well for a "stranger."
And that was the problem.
I forced myself not to glance. Not even for a second. If I looked now, if our eyes met—
"Rinato?"
I almost heard my name come out. Or at least, it felt like it.
My body tensed instantly.
But it wasn't my name.
"Ayaka, are you going to practice again after school?"
"Oh—yeah, maybe."
Her voice soft, calm, as usual. No tremor. No hidden tone.
I exhaled slowly.
Still safe.
But just as I thought everything was under control, for some reason, Ayaka paused for a moment.
I could feel it without seeing.
A small pause in the air. Like when music stops for a fraction of a second before the chorus.
And unconsciously… I glanced.
Just a little. Very little.
Our eyes met.
One second.
No more.
But it was enough to make my chest tighten.
Ayaka didn't smile widely like she did to her friends. She didn't look surprised either. She just… stared at me. Neutral expression. Polite. Like looking at any other student in the same class by chance.
Yet beneath it—
A tiny spark in her eyes.
Like a silent acknowledgment.
Like, "I see you."
My hands reflexively clenched under the desk.
Don't react.
Don't smile.
Don't panic.
I turned my face away first, pretending to focus on a book I hadn't even opened.
Moments later, Ayaka continued walking. Light laughter resumed. The world returned to normal.
As if nothing had happened.
But the cold sweat on my back said otherwise.
First lesson started. Teacher came in. Classroom returned to order.
But my mind didn't.
I stared at the chalkboard without really reading. Words lined up neatly, but my mind lingered in the hallway.
I almost got caught.
No—I nearly got caught.
One glance was enough to make my heart feel like it could jump out. If someone had seen my expression… if Ayaka's friends noticed something odd…
I swallowed hard.
Keeping distance from a popular neighbor at the same school wasn't easy.
And this was just the first day.
I glanced at Ayaka from the corner of my eye.
She sat in the front row, posture straight, paying attention to the lesson with a serious expression. Nothing like someone who had just shared a silent secret with me.
So professional.
I snorted quietly in my mind.
She was dangerous.
Not because she was popular.
But because she could act like nothing happened—and make me nearly fail at pretending.
The break bell rang shortly after.
I exhaled deeply.
Stage one of the day… survived.
Almost failed, but still safe.
Yet, for some reason, a bad feeling started creeping in.
If one glance could do this, I wasn't sure I could keep pretending… all day.
The first break came sooner than expected.
The bell rang, chairs scraped, and the orderly classroom instantly became a small crowd moving in every direction. I stayed seated for a moment, letting the flow of students go first. Old habit. Avoiding crowded hallways was always the safe choice.
But today, "safe" felt… relative.
I finally stood and stepped out of the classroom, bag slung over one shoulder. The hallway was crowded, laughter and chatter blending together. I walked on the left side, head slightly down, eyes forward.
Until—
"Ayaka, wait!"
The voice came from ahead.
My steps reflexively slowed.
And sure enough.
Ayaka stood a few meters ahead, surrounded by two friends. Her white hair was easy to spot even in the crowd. She glanced back slightly, expression calm, but clearly waiting.
I almost turned around.
Almost.
But too late.
The hallway was too narrow, and the crowd pushed me forward. No detour without looking suspicious. I exhaled softly.
Okay. Just pass. Like a normal student. Nothing more.
I stepped closer.
Ayaka looked toward me.
And for a split second—I saw a hint of hesitation on her face.
Not because she didn't know how to act, but because we both knew the situation.
At school, we were nobody to each other.
"Uh…"
Ayaka's voice sounded closer now.
I stopped.
Damn.
I turned with the neutral expression I had practiced for so long. Not too friendly. Not cold. Just… normal.
"Yes?" I replied shortly.
Her two friends immediately glanced at me.
I could feel their stares like spotlights.
Ayaka looked a little surprised—not at my reply, but probably because I actually responded. She quickly put on her polite school smile.
"Your… book."
"Book?"
She pointed to my bag. "Your gym book. Looks like it fell when you left the classroom earlier."
I reflexively checked my bag.
Right.
The book was half sticking out of the zipper.
"Oh."
I quickly pushed it back in. "Thanks."
That dialogue… too normal.
And that's exactly what made my heart race faster.
"Huh? You're in the same class?" one of her friends asked.
I could feel danger approaching.
"Yeah," Ayaka replied quickly, still smiling. "My desk's a bit at the back."
I nodded shortly. No extra words.
A brief silence formed.
Not long, but enough to make my mind noisy.
Don't say anything weird.
Don't react reflexively.
Don't seem familiar.
Fortunately, one of her friends tugged Ayaka's sleeve.
"Hey, let's go. The cafeteria's gonna be crowded."
Ayaka nodded. "Ah, right. Thanks."
She bowed slightly toward me, polite.
And that was it.
They left.
I stood in place for two full seconds before realizing I had to move.
I continued walking, face still neutral, but inside my head—
God. That was too close.
I hadn't calmed down yet when fate decided not to give me a pause.
By the toilets, I ran into her again.
This time alone.
The hallway quieter. Footsteps echoed. Ayaka walked toward me holding a water bottle. No friends. No crowd.
I wanted to disappear.
But no place to hide.
Step.
Two steps.
Ayaka stopped right in front of me.
"Um…"
I looked at her. Expression a little hesitant, but calm.
"You… almost forgot your book," she said softly, this time without excessive formality.
"Yeah."
I nodded. "Good thing you noticed."
Silence again.
This one heavier.
Empty hallway. Less than a meter between us. Too close for two people who shouldn't know each other.
I could hear the ticking of the wall clock.
Ayaka glanced left, then right. As if checking no one was around.
"Relax," she said shortly. "I'm nervous too."
I almost laughed.
Did she just say that?
Of course, I just nodded. "I can tell."
Her lips curved slightly. Not a full smile. Just a small signal.
Other footsteps echoed from afar.
Ayaka straightened her posture. School smile back.
"Then… see you later," she said.
"Ah—yeah."
We parted ways.
I walked away, trying to regulate my breathing. Honestly, this was more exhausting than a pop quiz.
And the day wasn't over yet.
In the afternoon, I saw Ayaka again. On the stairs. In front of the staff room. Even glimpsed from another classroom window.
Every time, we pretended.
Every time, my heart overreacted.
At one point, a classmate tapped my shoulder.
"Hey, Rinato. You know Ayaka, right?"
I nearly choked.
"Huh?"
"Just saw her talking to you."
I swallowed hard.
"Just about a book."
"Oh." She nodded. "Thought you two were close."
"No," I replied too quickly.
She raised an eyebrow. "Relaxed answer."
I fell silent.
Not relaxed enough, apparently.
The day felt long.
And I reached one simple but annoying conclusion.
Keeping distance from a popular neighbor…
was far harder than I imagined.
The second break came differently.
Not crowded—quiet.
Most students gathered in the cafeteria, others in the field. The second-floor hallway usually full now almost empty. Only the sound of wind from open windows and occasional footsteps.
I walked without clear purpose.
Not to the cafeteria. Not to the library. My legs moved just to take my body away from the crowd. Maybe I just needed a place to think. Or maybe… I hoped to meet someone.
I stopped at the end of the hallway.
And that foolish hope immediately came true.
Ayaka stood there.
Alone.
She leaned lightly against the wall near the window, holding her lunchbox. Her white hair swayed gently with the soft breeze, moving gracefully in rhythm with her calm presence. No social smile. No popular mask.
Just Ayaka.
I reflexively stopped.
She saw me too.
For a few seconds, we just stood facing each other. No sound. No approaching or retreating footsteps. The hallway felt like a small space apart from the school.
I wanted to say something.
But no words felt necessary.
Ayaka moved first—not closer, just standing straighter. Her gaze met mine without hesitation. Not like this morning. Not like this afternoon.
This look… was different.
Calm.
"Tired, huh?" she said softly.
I nodded. "Somewhat."
No further explanation. And strangely, it was enough.
I stood a few steps away from her, keeping a safe distance. But the distance felt meaningless. As if something connected us without touching.
"I thought…" Ayaka paused, then let out a small sigh. "I thought I'd be used to it."
"Used to what?" I asked.
"Pretending."
The answer was simple, but precise.
I looked at the floor for a moment, then back at her. "I'm not."
Ayaka's lips curved slightly. A tiny smile—almost nonexistent. But I saw it.
"It shows," she said.
I laughed softly, almost inaudible. "I almost got caught a few times."
"Me too."
She looked down slightly. "Earlier in your class… I thought you'd smile."
"I almost did."
"Almost is the dangerous part."
We were silent again.
The wind blew. Window curtains moved slowly. Afternoon sunlight slanted in, cutting the hallway into two halves.
Ayaka turned toward the window. "Weird, huh."
"What?"
"At home, we're just normal."
She glanced at me. "Here, we have to pretend to be strangers."
I nodded. "But if you think about it… maybe that's what makes it safe."
"Safe," she repeated softly.
But her tone didn't fully agree.
I stepped one step closer—not intentional, just reflex. When I realized, I stopped. Less than two meters now.
Ayaka looked again.
Our gazes met.
No smile. No words.
But something flowed in the air—a silent acknowledgment. That we both realized the same thing. That this moment… mustn't be seen by anyone else.
Ayaka blinked first. Then looked down, hiding her expression.
"I should get back," she said softly.
"Yeah."
She walked past me. As she passed my shoulder, I caught a faint scent of familiar soap. Smell of home. Morning scent.
Her steps paused for a moment.
"Rinato."
I turned.
She didn't look at me directly. Just at the floor.
"Thanks," she said.
"For what?"
"For… keeping up the act."
I froze for a moment, then nodded. "You're welcome."
Ayaka walked away.
Her steps faded, her voice disappeared around the corner. I remained standing, staring at the empty space she left.
My chest felt warm.
Not because of grand romance. Not because of a confession.
But because I knew one thing for sure now.
In this school—among hundreds of students, thousands of glances—
there was a small moment…
that only Ayaka and I understood.
And that was enough.