Conrad knew that he was getting a little bit too caught up with overthinking, but he could not help but keep on thinking.
This was not a world of action, or he could just do one thing and get everything he wanted.
He needed to plan it very well.
"I feel it now."
"Why some people were bored of reading the succession arc of the story..."
Conrad then stopped for a moment and thought about the ability again.
"For protecting my life, saving me from death, another life needs to be repaid."
"Equivalent exchange."
Conrad knew very well that sacrificing lives to gain power was not only possible in Nen, it was a proven method.
Morena Prudo was the clearest example.
Her ability was a system built on murder, refined and optimized into something almost industrial. By killing others, her followers accumulated "levels," their Nen growing stronger with each life taken. The rules were brutally simple and frighteningly efficient.
Of course there were also several conditions for initiation of a new member, such as the card game and a member of the Heil-Ly family killing another one while the individual who is going to be initiated is present in the room.
Ordinary people granted one level.
Nen users granted ten.
Princes granted fifty.
And once a follower killed enough, they could branch off, create their own group, impose their own rules, and continue the cycle endlessly.
"A self-replicating engine of death." Conrad thought as he smirked.
Conrad understood why it worked.
Morena's ideology was twisted, but it was absolute.
Her followers killed without hesitation, and Nen responded by magnifying their resolve into power.
He leaned back in his chair, hands resting on his thighs.
"I know this path."
He did not pretend otherwise.
"I've killed four people already," he continued.
That much was true.
He was not naïve, nor was he clinging to some false image of purity.
"But," he added, his voice firming, "I'm not sick in the head."
If killing was necessary, he would do it.
If it was not, he would not force himself down that road simply to strengthen an ability.
"I don't want a Nen ability that demands murder," Conrad said. "I don't want power that drags me by the throat toward bloodshed."
Because once Nen tied power to killing, it did not stop.
And one day, it would be anyone who stood in the way of "efficiency."
Conrad exhaled slowly.
"I won't become that," he said.
He stared at the ceiling for some time, trying to think about what mattered to him in his life.
Back when he did not know about anything and wanted to reach and hold on to something.
Then, he thought of a place.
"The orphanage."
"The cracked walls. The thin blankets. The way hunger felt sharper at night." Conrad closed his eyes for a moment and nodded.
"I remember everything."
The faces of children who learned far too early that the world did not care whether they lived or died.
"Kids…" Conrad whispered.
Compared to wars, politics, mafia families, princes, and Nen monsters, children were powerless.
They were not weak because they chose to be.
"And they pay the price for everything," he thought. "For adults' greed, fear, stupidity, and cruelty."
"That is one particular aspect of both worlds."
"Either in the Earth or in the world of Hunter x Hunter, kids are the ones who get the worst deal at the end of it."
"Then, those kids become people like Gyro, and its malice keeps reinstating itself into the world."
"What if," Conrad murmured, "there's another side to the same coin?"
If Nen rewarded killing with power…
Then it could also reward saving.
He sat upright, eyes sharpening.
"What if instead of taking lives," he said, "I stake my power on preserving them?"
The idea began to take shape, piece by piece.
"What if the condition isn't just 'save someone once,'" Conrad continued, "but something long-term?"
His thoughts returned to the children again.
Not saving them for a moment.
But for a future.
"What if," he said slowly, "I make it a condition that I must save the life of a child and not just save them once but protect them until they become a mature individual?"
He began refining the thought.
"Ten kids," he murmured. "Per year."
Ten children whose lives were in danger from something.
Ten lives pulled back from the edge.
"And as long as I maintain this," Conrad continued, "the ability stays active."
If he failed?
Then the ability would weaken.
Or shut down entirely.
"I can stack conditions," Conrad said, eyes gleaming.
"The harsher the obligation, the stronger the effect."
He clenched his fist.
"They'll be free," Conrad continued. "Free to leave. Free to hate me. Free to forget me."
"But," he added, voice lowering, "if they choose to stay…"
If, years later, one of them decided of their own will to walk alongside him
Then something else became possible.
A secondary condition.
A secondary ability.
Conrad's thoughts sharpened further.
"Similar to Benjamin Baton," he said. "Inheritance-type Nen."
"A Nen ability where the condition is absolute," Conrad whispered.
"The individual must have been a child whose life I saved, raised, and protected."
"If they choose it, then I can link that bond into Nen."
Conrad leaned back, staring at the chain on the table.
"This does two things," he thought.
"First it balances my own survival."
"Over time," Conrad said softly, "this could become something big."
Not an army.
A network.
A future.
He closed his eyes.
"This isn't about being good," he said.
"It's about refusing to let power rot me."
"If I want to live," Conrad whispered, "then I'll make sure others get to live too."