There are months I don't speak about. Not because I forgot them—no. I remember too well. But some memories are dangerous, and holding them too close can break a man in ways the world doesn't forgive.
Time did not pass kindly. It folded, twisted, and bled into itself. One choice forced another, one betrayal sharpened the next, and the days blurred until beginnings and endings became impossible to tell apart.
Riya… she came and went like a phantom. Sometimes in body, sometimes only in my mind. Every glance, every word, every silence burned, and yet I could never reach her without exposing myself—and that was a risk I could no longer take.
The pack changed. My enemies learned patience. My allies learned caution. And I learned to survive in the spaces between trust and war.
If you are looking for neat explanations, I cannot give them. This is not a story that moves in straight lines. Love under a curse does not. Leadership under threat does not. Survival under shadow does not.
All you need to know is this: by the time the knock came on my door that night, there was no version of me left that was untouched.
I was sitting on my bed, my mind wandering back to Riya again. I couldn't stop thinking about how I'd handled things when she came back. I could feel I'm fucking aroused and no matter how I pressed it down, it kept edging.
I kept replaying every moment, the kiss we'd had before she left still burned on my lips. The way she'd said "trust me" with such intensity in her eyes.
My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden loud knock on my door. The sound was so forceful and urgent that it made me angry immediately.
"What the hell?" I muttered, getting up from the bed. The knocking continued, even louder now, like someone was trying to break the door down.
I stormed across the room, ready to yell at whoever was making such a racket. I yanked the door open, prepared to give them a piece of my mind.
But when I saw who was standing there, my anger disappeared instantly.
Zeeshan was on my doorstep, breathing hard like he'd been running. His face was flushed, and sweat was dripping down his forehead. His usually neat appearance was disheveled, his shirt wrinkled, and his hair messy.
"Zeeshan?" I said, immediately concerned. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry for knocking so hard," he said, still trying to catch his breath. "But there's a problem. A big problem."
My heart started beating faster. "What kind of problem?"
"We have to leave the pack. Now." Zeeshan wiped the sweat from his face with the back of his hand. "We're under threat. There's been an attack on the eastern border, and they're moving this way."
I felt shocked. An attack? Here?
"Are you sure?" I asked, still trying to process what he was telling me.
"I'm sure. My scouts confirmed it an hour ago. We have maybe two hours before they reach us." Zeeshan looked me straight in the eyes. "Ethan, we need to mobilize everyone. Now."
I felt torn between two different needs pulling at me. Part of me wanted to wait for Riya to come back. I wanted to hear what she had to tell me, but I knew Zeeshan was right. As the alpha, I had a responsibility to protect my pack.
"How many soldiers do we have ready?" I asked, already moving to grab my boots and jacket.
"About a thousand. They're gathering at the main gate now, waiting for orders."
I nodded, pulling on my boots quickly. "Let's go."
We left the pack house together, moving fast through the corridors. Outside, I could see the organized chaos of our pack preparing for war. Soldiers were running back and forth, carrying weapons and supplies. Vehicles were being loaded with equipment.
Zeeshan led me to our war house, a large building at the edge of our territory where we kept our military supplies and held strategy meetings. Inside, maps were spread across a large table, and several of our senior warriors were already gathered.
"Here's what we're going to do," Zeeshan said, pointing to different areas on the map. "We'll divide our soldiers into four groups. One group will defend the northern approach, one will take the south, one will guard the eastern border where they're coming from, and the fourth will stay here to protect the main pack grounds."
I watched as Zeeshan explained the plan, pointing to different locations and discussing strategy with the other warriors. His voice was clear and confident, but I found it hard to focus on his words.
My mind kept drifting back to Riya. Where was she right now? Was she still at the restaurant with Mia, enjoying their time and having no idea that danger was approaching? Would she be back before we had to leave?
I kept thinking about the promise she'd made to tell me something important. What if I never got to hear what she wanted to say? What if something happened to me in this fight, and I never saw her again?
"Ethan?" Zeeshan's voice cut through my thoughts. "Did you hear what I just said?"
I blinked and looked at him. "Sorry, what?"
"I said I need you to lead one of the groups. I'll take command of another group myself." Zeeshan was studying my face with concern. "Are you listening to me?"
"Yes, I'm listening," I said, trying to force myself to focus. "Which group do you want me to lead?"
"The northern approach. It's the most likely route they'll take if they try to circle around." Zeeshan handed me a smaller map with the area marked. "Take two hundred and fifty soldiers with you."
I took the map and nodded, but even as I looked at it, my thoughts kept wandering. I couldn't shake the image of Riya's face when she'd left earlier. The way she'd looked back at me from the doorway, like she wanted to say something else.
"Ethan." Zeeshan's voice was sharper now, more commanding. "Look at me."
I raised my eyes to meet his. He was frowning, his expression serious and a little frustrated.
"I can see that your mind is somewhere else," he said. "But I need you to focus. Right now, in this moment, you're not just a man thinking about his woman. You're the alpha of this pack."
His words hit me like a slap. He was right, and I knew it.
"You have hundreds of people depending on you to keep them safe," Zeeshan continued. "Families with children, elderly pack members who can't defend themselves, young people who are looking to you for leadership. This is not the time to be distracted."
I took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"I don't know what you're thinking about, but I know it revolves around Riya. You know you care about her, and I know you want her to be safe. But the best way to protect her is to make sure our entire pack survives this attack." Zeeshan put his hand on my shoulder. "Can you do that? Can you be the alpha we need right now?"
I looked around the room at the faces of our warriors. They were all watching me, waiting for me to give them direction and confidence. These people trusted me with their lives, and I couldn't let them down.
"Yes," I said, and this time I meant it completely. "I can do that."
Zeeshan smile
d and squeezed my shoulder. "Good. Then let's get our people ready to fight."