„Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart."-Fyodor Dostoevsky
Vivien walked alongside the boy.
She felt sick to her stomach after having eaten at the open air spot, but she tried not to let it show.
She could obviously tell Sylas knew something was wrong with her.
The girl felt extremely nauseous, and even the thought of drinking water or eating anything exacerbated her state.
She swallowed a few times, trying to somehow make her stomach stop pushing up acid reflux into the esophagus. No chance.
„I still have one pretzel with me! I took it while the waitress wasn't watching me!"
Vivien looked his way and noticed the pretzel he was holding.
„Now of course, I won't give it to you since you've been so rude to me. I think I deserve a little something in return for it."
„Your tactics won't have an effect on me.", she grabbed the pretzel from his hand and chewed on it although eating it made her want to gag. The girl hoped eating it would help diminish the feeling.
After a couple of minutes of walking in silence while munching on the pretzel, Vivien asked the boy where they were going, and he answered he was taking her home.
So he had already thought of that beforehand!
The boy noticed a small shop which was still open at the late hour. She followed his gaze and glanced at it.
The shop sold clothes, but Vivien was not in the mood to go shopping at the late hour. She felt sick and tired, she just wanted to rest for a while, perhaps for months straight if she could.
„You know what I'm going to ask for, right?", he smirked at her and the girl was curious what he meant.
She stood in place and thought for a while, remembering the event they went through that day.
„Is this about the bolo tie you unfortunately lost?", she asked, having finished eating the pretzel.
„Bingo.", he took her hand and dragged her all the way to the entrance of the shop.
Vivien and Sylas stepped inside. She wanted to retaliate, to tell him how horrible she was feeling, but she kept it all to herself once again.
The girl walked around the shop, looking at all the extravagant clothes and bold colors. There was definitely an interesting style implemented to them.
She disliked clothes that seemed to attract attention.
Sylas was looking for a bolo tie. He was at the hats and further accessories section, hoping to find what he was searching for. Why was he so obsessed with bolo ties?
All of a sudden, something cold and orange colored touched her head and blocked her view.
She turned around to notice Sylas smiling at her. He had chosen a hat for her.
„Look at what I found!", he said.
The hat was too big for Vivien, and it had fallen over her face. She had to reach up and to arrange it in a certain way to be able to look up at him once again.
„Do you like it?"
„It's absurd judging by the fact that it's way too big!"
She took it off and placed it on Sylas' head instead. The boy accepted the offer and complied with it.
„I think I found its predecessor.", she said, confidently.
The boy moved up the hat to take a better look at Vivien.
„Hola, my nombre es Juanita."
„Go to sleep, Juanita..." she reached up and pulled on the hat to block his view.
He removed the hat and brought it back to the section he was in before.
Vivien continued to wander around the shop until Sylas found what he was looking for.
She heard him happily exclaim he found the bolo tie he was looking for, and the girl struggled not to chuckle at his ridiculous reaction.
Sylas and the girl walked to the cashier. Vivien hadn't gotten anything for herself, she thought she had way too many clothes at home already to go on another shopping spree.
The two walked out the door and stepped outside into the quiet night. The biggest star, Sirius, was visible on the night sky, the sight encouraging Vivien look up.
She was surprisingly feeling much better, her nausea had went away and her chest wasn't feeling tight anymore. It was almost like her wishes came true when noticing the star, that thought sounding silly to her.
All she could ever ask for was right there in the moment, she just had to be willing to accept it and embrace it for what it was. And she really did embrace it.
Once the two arrived to her home, he stopped to look around once more.
The house wasn't that big, but Vivien was glad she had her own bed, her own warm food to eat and her own clean water to drink.
„I guess this is it, shortie. Tomorrow's the weekend. Make sure to let me know if any of those grubs type of monsters attack you again."
„Yeah... because I'll definitely think about alerting you if that happens."
„But seriously, you doing alright? Feeling better?"
For once in her life, Vivien didn't lie when saying that she was really doing fine. In other words, she was feeling better than she could ever explain in what felt like years.
„I'm doing okay. What about you, Sylas?"
„Eh, I'm doing great. In fact, as well as I can ever be."
Sylas looked at the girl longinly. It seemed like he wanted to say something more, or to do something more.
She wanted to ask what was on his mind, but before she could do that, he had bid his farewell to her.
„See ya', Viv.", he turned around to leave.
„Could you wait for a second?"
The boy looked over his shoulder and noticed her serious expression. He waited for her to say what she had left to say.
„Do you think I should deem it advisable to tell my friends about our shared tribulations?"
„What could they help with if you were to tell them? Are Grace and Rachel the right people to bring on a venturesome realm like that?"
„No, but-"
„Then why would you ask me? I'm not the one you should come to for advice. You did say we will never get along, so what's the point?", he stated, nonchalantly.
„Sylas.."
The girl wanted to apologize to him for the argument that day, but she didn't know how to do it.
She had trouble talking about her feelings and always hid them away. The boy was right, what was the point in asking for his opinion if they weren't on good terms, and anything he'd say she just wouldn't agree with?
„I did not want to upset you."
He smiled brightly at that sentence. She felt it was something she shouldn't have said.
„Whatever you say, Viv. I'll meet you tomorrow if you wish."
„I really am sorry! I'm being serious", she spoke in a louder tone. She wanted to make him understand she was honest.
„Okay, let's put it this way. You're the one that keeps ignoring me! This future world we have to go through is messing with our perception of time and we have to get rid of a strange Huldra creature while not even knowing what everything is supposed to mean. We got chased by green monsters that can turn us into themselves. Truth is, there is no point in all of this, anything happening around us. We can just let loose and „follow our hearts" as you always imply. But that sounds weirdly optimistic and I'm not up for it. I have way better things to do with my time, like learning, right?"
„I didn't-"
„I didn't, what? Wah, wah. Are you going to cry to me? You know that's lame, Vivien."
„You're not even allowing me to speak!"
„I don't neeed to! I know what goes into that mind of yours.", he stepped closer and closer to her. „I'm fine with hearing whatever around me about myself, as long as it's funny. You, on the other hand, are just a scared little girl and get upset way too easily. That's boring! Everybody notices it, how troubled it makes you when someone says even the slightest bad word about you. Geez, you were never able to take a joke, huh? Why did I do my best every day to try to bring you out of your shell? Do you have the slightest bit of idea why? Of course you don't, because you just don't care. Well, I don't care, either. I've had enough of this."
„The feeling is mutual, then."
„Perfect..."
The both of them were quiet for a while. Sylas was standing really close to her while looking intensly into her eyes.
The girl felt troubled, but she didn't let her feelings show. She stood firm and looked into his eyes with the same intensity.
What he said was a lot to take in, he probably had those thoughts trapping him for a long time.
Was that his true perception of her? That she was a weak and scared girl who just couldn't fathom the idea of people hating her?
Vivien began to feel uncomfortable. His close proximity and the intense staring wasn't doing much to help the situation.
She wanted to be just as extroverted and confident as him, she admired his personality a lot, even if she didn't want to show it.
Vivien wished she had more self esteem so that she could put herself out there into the world.
Perhaps all her problems would disappear if she could do that, since the world we're living in has no place for quiet and sensitive people.
Because of his close proximity, she decided to hug him out of desperation. She hoped he wouldn't get too upset about it.
„What are you doing!?", he asked, surprised.
The girl didn't let go of him, all she did was hug him even tighter.
Surprisingly, he hugged her back and held her just as tight for a while. Vivien closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of holding someone close. She hadn't hugged anyone in a very long time.
Sylas waited for her to let go of the hug first. Once the girl let go and stepped back, he placed his hands on her shoulders.
„Why did you do that?"
„You didn't seem to understand I don't want to argue anymore."
„I enjoy arguments though. Constructive ones, not accusatory and hurtful ones. We can have a debate sometime if you're up for it."
„I'm open for any proposition!"
Sylas smiled at her and patted her head once again. The girl smiled in return. Just then, Luis stepped out of the house and asked for her to get inside to help him with a certain task.
Sylas bid farewell to the girl and walked back home.