„I am merely but an organism existing in a vast world in which time keeps moving forward. This simple concept should not make a living person worried or to quiver. Fear is what binds us, but it is also what destroys us."- Peter Zahn
Stress was gnawing at her. She hadn't studied for her upcoming final exams ever since the argument, and she didn't feel like picking up her schoolbooks to prepare for them, which was unlike her.
Instead of skimming through a book like she almost always did, what better way to spend time than to discover what the future held for her?
The fictional arms of the future were,for certain, cold and unappealing to her.
Except, does herself from the future know about the library and going back and forward into time?
If so, why has she from 2028 completely given up on the idea and hasn't even visited herself from the past?
Every thought was searching it's way through her brain, trying to find a way to convince her to go back to the library, eventually making her get up from her desk during lunch break and visit the library once again.
No, she had to speak to him first. Or maybe, it would be better not to. They were both upset at eachother.
When she opened the door for the time-traveling realm, she was instantly teleported to the future. There was a screeching sound coming from the door and a flickering purple light which looked like tiny sparkles drifting off the doorknob.
The image was out of this world, and for a second, she believed it was an effect added by the librarian when people come in, but she was clearly proven wrong.
When Vivien raised her hand to her eye level, she noticed the flickering purple light on her palm dissipating slowly into the unknown until it dissapeared.
She hadn't seen it before, considering she'd been so focused on the fact that she could travel in time. Both her hands were tingling once again.
Her goal was to visit Sylas from the future. Maybe this Sylas wasn't still upset at her. She asked one person walking by the college dorms where he is located, and the person had no clue.
As she kept asking around with trembling hands, she realized nobody had heard of someone named Sylas Jackson. Her friend, Jude, from this timeline didn't know about anyone with that name, either.
She was starting to lose hope and think they were both not attending their dream college in the future anymore, that was until she noticed a dorm with the number 15 engraved on it.
Vivien saw that under the number was a name written. She came closer to it and saw a foreign name to her.
She kept searching this way, checking for his name on every single door. The girl started to run, looking for a name starting with the letter S. Where was it? There it was, college dorm number 56, and under the number was his name. She finally found it.
Vivien was nervous, her hands were trembling, what if he didn't want to see her? What if her moving from this college made this Sylas from this timeline also upset at her?
She would have two Sylases angry with her. That couldn't happen, not on her watch. If this boy was also upset, she'd have a conversation with him and mend the situation.
She knocked at the door and waited for a while, but there was no answer. She made up her mind and opened the door slowly, a bit fearful of what was to come.
The lights were turned off and the room had an unpleasant atmosphere. Clothes and bottles were scaterred around, and Vivien almost tripped on a bottle left on the floor. She looked around.
There was a small wardrobe on the right side of the bed, next to the window. The bed was in the centre of the room, and that's when she noticed him.
He was lying down, staring at her the whole time without saying a word as she was trying to make her way inside the room.
It was difficult to make up his facial expression, but Vivien assumed it wasn't a pleasant one. That scared her, so she spoke to him to ease the tension.
„Hello? Sylas?"
Sylas was staring into space, or at her. She couldn't quite notice this time because of the darkness which got worse as she progressed inside the college dorm.
„Hi, it's me, Vivien."
„What are you doing here? Didn't you leave the college?"
„I... What happened to you?"
„Don't you know? I have a drinking problem... I don't ever want to get out of bed and my chest hurts all the time, not to mention I feel short of breath and lightheaded. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and found out it's a heart issue, but I didn't want to tell you and scare you."
„That doesn't sound good.", she didn't know how else to react or what to say. It was shocking to see him this way.
„Ever since you left... Vivien... it's only been a few days and I already feel horrible, but you're back now. You said you'd never wish to see me again when you left, you were upset, but it looks like you changed your mind. I'm glad you're back and giving me another chance."
Vivien didn't know how to unpack it all. Perhaps she should have left not to disturb him even further.
The tone of his voice was monotone, lacking life. She was afraid anything she'd say would make him angrier.
„I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds terrible."
„Hey, isn't that your old phone? What are you doing with it, didn't you say you'd buy a different one?", he decided to change the topic of discussion.
She knew he wasn't aware she's the Vivien from the past, so she played along, acting like she was familiar with everything about her leaving college and changing her phone. Vivien wondered how he was able to notice which phone she held through such dim light. Maybe his eyes were accustomed to the dark.
„I bring my old phone with me sometimes. No reason."
„Hah, weirdo."
„Would you say me leaving caused this state of yours?"
„Could be. You are my only friend during this time, and you're going to leave me all alone. It's so cruel of you, shortie, but I don't blame you. Which college are you attending right now? Remind me."
„I... uhhh... it's... I'll tell you later. Let's focus on what's upsetting you first."
„I... don't want you to leave."
„I know, but I have to go, eventually."
„Why did you have to do this to me? I'll be by myself and absolutely nobody else cares about me from here."
Sylas raised his hand to his chest and clutched his white shirt. At the same time, he looked awful. He sat up on the edge of the bed, still grasping his chest.
„A...are you okay?"
„I'm doing wonderful..."
„That's definitely sarcasm. What should I do for you?"
„Nothing, please come here.", he said as he patted the seat next to him.
Vivien listened to Sylas and her legs began to move forward.
It was as if she acted under a spell and she moved on command.
She didn't understand what was going on. Just as she sat down on the bed, the boy didn't hesitate and his arms caught her in a tight hug.
She held him just as tight for a while, the moment seemingly dragging on for longer than she could have imagined.
„I missed you."
„I'm so sorry this happened to you, Sylas."
„Don't stress out about it, dear. So... what's it like being away from me?"
He asked as he let go of the hug and smiled softly at her. Just then, her phone buzzed, which meant she got a notification. Was it Jude again?
She took this as her only opportunity to leave. She was still in highschool, and the time she spent in the future went by in 2026, as well. If she kept talking to him, she'd be late to class.
„Uhh... I have to go. Someone just texted me. It's an urgent problem."
„You'll come back, right?"
„Some other day."
„Promise me."
„I promise! It's mandatory to text me if you feel sad again or if anything hurts. We will talk for as long as you want.", Vivien answered as she got up from the bed and made her way towards the door to leave.
„Alright..."
„Goodbye!", her hand reached for the doorknob.
„Wait!"
Vivien left the room despite hearing him ask for her to stay for a little longer. She couldn't believe her eyes, so she needed a few moments to breathe.
Perhaps, he wanted to ask about which college she moved to, and she couldn't give him the answer, at least not in that moment. Sylas had a very unkempt beard and moustache, his hair was dishevelled and it was getting longer.
He was much skinnier than current Sylas. The college dorm was clearly not being taken care of, either.
Nobody else lived with him, he was all alone and sick and she wanted to help him out. No, she must offer a hand out of that misery. She couldn't possibly leave him in such a state. Just then, she made a schedule in her head of when to go visit him just in case she couldn't find herself in the future fast enough to fix their relationship.
She had to find out why herself from the future cut all ties with the college and with everybody else from Elton College.
VIvien had no choice, she needed to go back to her class and forget about everything that she felt: guilt, sadness and a slight hint of fear.
She brushed it all away, as if sweeping the floor of bad bacteria only she could see.
The composition of feelings didn't taste well, and under any circumstance, she didn't want to keep having that awful taste trapping her.