The classroom buzzed as the stragglers filed in.
A scrawny guy with messy brown hair flopped into the seat next to Alex. He leaned back, kicking his feet up on the desk with unearned confidence.
"Hey," the guy grinned, elbowing Alex. "Did the sun rise from the west today? Why is the class geek sitting all the way in the back?"
Alex looked at him.
Hanks.
The memories clicked instantly. Hanks was Alex's "best friend."
Correction, Alex thought, his eyes narrowing slightly. Hanks is a leech.
In the memories, Hanks was the classic hanger-on. He was terrible at studies, worse at combat, and broke. He stuck to Alex like gum on a shoe because Alex was a walking credit card. The previous Alex, desperate for any social interaction, had let Hanks treat him like a personal ATM.
"..."
Alex didn't reply. He just stared at Hanks with a deadpan expression. He wasn't the naive, lonely shut-in anymore. He had twenty years of Earth experience dealing with fake friends and toxic teammates.
Hanks' grin faltered. He shifted uncomfortably under Alex's silent gaze.
"Hey... what's with that look?" Hanks laughed nervously, putting his feet down. "You're looking at me like I owe you money."
Alex blinked, breaking the stare. Not yet. I need a guide for the city.
"Nothing," Alex said smoothly. "Just tired."
"Good, you had me worried for a second," Hanks said, his cheekiness returning instantly. "Anyway, listen. A new magi-arcade opened downtown. Top-tier simulation pods. We should check it out after class. My treat... well, your treat, my company."
There it is, Alex thought. Shameless.
"Sounds good," Alex agreed. He actually did want to see the city, and having a local guide—even a parasitic one—was better than wandering alone.
"Great! You're the man, Alex."
Just then, the heavy oak door slammed open.
The chatter in the room died instantly.
A woman walked in. Or rather, she glided in, commanding the attention of every male (and half the females) in the room.
Cassandra Thomas. The homeroom teacher of Class A.
She was a mature beauty in her mid-thirties, radiating the kind of "Ara Ara" energy that could weaponize hormones. She wore a brown blouse that was fighting a losing war against physics. A single, heroic button in the center was holding on for dear life, straining against a chest that looked heavy enough to cause back problems.
Her pencil skirt was tight. Extremely tight. It hugged her hips and accentuated a derriere that wobbled mesmerizingly with every step of her high heels.
She walked to the podium, adjusted her glasses, and looked around. Her gaze lingered on Alex for a split second—making him gulp—before she slammed a stack of papers down.
"SILENCE!"
Her voice cracked like a whip. It was the tone of a strict disciplinarian, the kind that made you want to apologize even if you hadn't done anything.
The room went dead silent.
"Good," Cassandra purred, a small, terrifying smile playing on her lips. "I hope you all rested well. Because you'll need the energy for today's test."
A collective groan rippled through the class.
Test? Alex thought, panic flaring. Are you kidding me? It's my first day! Is this a written test? I haven't studied!
"Man, I hate these," Hanks whispered loudly, slouching in his seat. "Why do we have to do this every week? Those combat maniacs are just going to beat the crap out of us again."
Alex froze. "Wait. What?"
He turned to Hanks. "What test are you talking about?"
Hanks looked at him like he was an idiot. "Did the fear fry your brain? It's Tuesday. Physical Assessment."
Hanks patted Alex's shoulder with fake pity. "I feel bad for you, man. Try not to faint like last week, okay? Be a man. Or, you know, try to be."
Physical Assessment.
The memory hit Alex like a truck.
Every Tuesday, the Academy held sparring matches. Real combat. Magic allowed.
Last week, the previous Alex had been paired with a fire mage. He had taken a fireball to the chest and passed out instantly.
"I'm dead," Alex whispered.
"What do you mean, dead?" Hanks chuckled. "Just dodge."
"Dodge? With what?" Alex panicked internally. This body has zero muscle memory! And magic? I joined the Magic Department because I have high intelligence stats, but...
He recalled the cruelest joke of his character build.
The original Alex had a library of spells in his head. He knew the theory perfectly. But he had a congenital defect: Mana Deficiency. His body couldn't store mana. He was like a Ferrari with an empty gas tank.
"I need to check exactly how screwed I am," Alex thought, bracing himself.
Status Window! he commanded.
The blue holographic screen shimmered into existence, hovering right over Hanks' clueless face.
[Name: Alex Edelhart] [Class: Magic Theory Student] [Affiliation: Celestia Academy]
[STR (Strength): 4] (An enraged toddler could overpower you. Do you even lift, bro?)
[AGI (Agility): 8] (A sloth with asthma moves faster. Pathetic.)
[STA (Stamina): 14] (Above Average. Oh? All that energy seems to be concentrated in your lower body. Typical.)
[MP (Mana Points): 3] (A AAA battery has more energy than you. You are a wizard who can't cast 'Light'. Embarrassing.)
[INT (Intellect): 34] (You are a walking library, man. If only you could kill monsters with trivia, you'd be a god.)
[CHARM: 28] (Still absurdly high. You look breedable. Congrats.)
[Mana Resonance: 1] (have the magical presence of a rock.)
[Mana Sensitivity: 75] (Holy hell. You could feel a mage fart from three miles away. Unnaturally high.)
[Calculation Power: 28] (You are basically a human supercomputer. Nerd.)
Note: Average adult human stat is 10.
****
Alex stared at the numbers.
"I am fucked."
That was the only scientific analysis possible. His strength was nonexistent. His mana pool was basically a puddle. The only thing he had going for him was that he was smart enough to know exactly how he was going to die, and pretty enough that his corpse would look great in a casket.
System, Alex thought, panic rising in his chest. Can I exchange Lust Points for stats? Right now?
[No.]
The reply was instant and cold.
Why not?!
[Just because. Sucks to be you.]
Alex grit his teeth. Man, can you help in any way? Or are you completely useless?
The System stayed silent for a moment, as if weighing whether it was worth the effort to reply.
[Fine. You can exchange Lust Points for Stat Points. The exchange rate is 10:1.]
Hope flared in Alex's chest.
[But wait,] the System mocked. [You only have 100 points. That gives you... 10 stat points. Wow. What a difference that makes. You'll go from 'Pathetic' to 'Slightly Less Pathetic.']
"Ten points is better than nothing!" Alex argued internally. If he dumped all 10 points into Mana, he'd quadruple his reserves. It wouldn't make him a powerhouse, but it might let him cast one spell without passing out.
"Quit murmuring and gather at the training grounds," Professor Cassandra's voice cut through his thoughts. "Now."
She turned on her heel and glided out, her hips swaying hypnotically.
The class scrambled to follow. Alex shut off the status window and joined the herd, Hanks trailing behind him complaining about leg day.