I stared at him without saying a word, watching him smoke as he looked out at the star-filled sky beyond the door. Slowly, I sat on the edge of the bed, eyes fixed on my feet. He glanced at me once, then turned his gaze back outside. "Are you planning to stay here?" he asked, his voice rough, taunting-just like the others, just like everyone else always does. Harsh. Cold. I didn't answer. I kept my eyes down as silent tears rolled down my cheeks. I wiped them away before he could notice, then stood up and walked out of his room-the one he lived in all alone. I went downstairs to mine, shut the door quietly, and lay down in bed. I don't know if I actually slept or just pretended to. I don't even remember when the sleep really came.
"This morning, when I woke up, I heard a noise outside the house. Bua's husband was standing in front of our home, arguing with Papa. Meanwhile, Bua was crying, resting her head on Mom's shoulder. I could feel her pain. Getting betrayed by someone you trust more than yourself-that's one of life's deepest wounds. It's hard to believe when someone you love does that to you. At first, ending your own life feels like the only way out... but then the face of someone close flashes in your mind, and you just can't do it."
After a while, everything calmed down. Bua's husband was sitting with my papa inside their room, talking. Bua and Mom were in another room. Mom was trying to comfort her, saying, "Divorce isn't a good idea for the baby. Forgive him, he won't do it again. Your brother is already talking to him, right?"
That's the reality for most women - their own families break down their self-esteem.
I stepped outside. The atmosphere inside the house was suffocating. It was evening as I walked away.
Sitting on the farm, I stared into the distance, thinking about going back to the city. These seven days of holidays still hadn't passed, yet it already felt like time was slipping away.
My brother Babu came and sat beside me.
"What happened?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
For the first time in a long while, we sat like this-just brother and sister.
"Nothing," I replied softly.
He looked at my empty face and sighed a little.
"Don't think too much. We'll do something in life... especially you. You're smart, brave... You're enough, Mimi."
Those words-you're enough-gave me peace.
Yes... I'm enough.
Thank you for reminding me.
We chuckled.
"You don't need to pretend to be someone else," he said. "It's okay if we don't fit in... not in everything, not even in this world."
"You're older than me?" I raised an eyebrow.
"You're the old granny. I'm the younger one," he teased.
"Oh really?"
"Yes..."
He scooped up water from the ground and splashed it on my face, playful and sudden.
I gasped in shock, then smiled and threw water back at him. We both laughed and played like kids again.
But from a distance...
A pair of eyes was watching us.
I felt relaxed after spending time with my brother. He's just like before-nothing has changed in him. Same irritating behavior, same joking around and teasing. I wonder how he treats Mom and Papa when I'm not here, but I think he behaves well.
I looked up at the roof. Tej was standing there, smoking-as always. He smokes all the time, and Papa doesn't stop him. It's our family home. How can he smoke here? And how can my father allow this? But whatever... it seems he gives a good amount of money and helps out, so they don't say anything to him. But I need to talk to him. How can I trust an unknown guy?
Wait... why did this thought come to me so late? And why did I let myself cry in front of him? Disgusting. I'm so disgusting. But whatever... I don't care anymore. Now I know-my father sees everything. They know about him. He's been living here for five months and nothing bad has happened, so maybe we can trust him.
I walked in. Just then, he came down the stairs while I turned on the TV. The whole house was empty. I thought I'd sit and watch something, but he came and sat on the couch first-again with that unreadable expression.
I'm tired of how people behave with me. I went to my room and shut the door loudly.