Tsunade Senju had always been a woman of intense passions.
When she loved, she loved completely. When she hated, she hated with the fury of a thousand suns. When she gambled, she lost so spectacularly that casinos had her picture on their walls as a warning to other patrons.
So when she fell for Katakuri, she fell hard.
Really hard.
The morning after their walk through the village, Tsunade woke up with a singular thought consuming her mind: Katakuri.
She thought about him while she brushed her teeth. She thought about him while she ate breakfast. She thought about him during her hospital rounds, to the point where she accidentally healed a patient's broken arm while staring out the window in the direction of his warehouse.
"Tsunade-sama?" a nurse asked nervously. "You've been holding that chart for twenty minutes."
"Hmm? Oh." Tsunade looked down at the chart, which she had unconsciously folded into the shape of a very tall, muscular man. "Yes. The patient. How is he?"
"He left an hour ago. You healed him completely while muttering about 'magnificent deltoids.'"
"Did I? Good. Excellent work, me."
The nurse exchanged a concerned glance with her colleagues.
By noon, Tsunade had visited Katakuri's warehouse three times. The first time, she brought him tea. The second time, she brought him lunch. The third time, she brought him a medical journal she thought he might find interesting, which was a transparent excuse that fooled absolutely no one.
"You were here an hour ago," Gary said, looking down at her with what might have been confusion. It was hard to tell with the collar.
"I forgot to mention something."
"What did you forget?"
Tsunade's mind went blank. She had not actually forgotten anything. She had simply wanted to see him again.
"Your... mochi," she said desperately. "I wanted to discuss the caloric content. For medical purposes."
"The caloric content of my mochi."
"Yes. Very important. For science."
Gary stared at her for a long moment.
"I create it from nothing," he said slowly. "I am not certain it has caloric content in the traditional sense."
"Fascinating. I should study this further. Extensively. Perhaps over dinner?"
"We had lunch an hour ago."
"Dinner is a different meal. With different scientific implications."
Gary's Observation Haki was pinging warnings that he couldn't quite interpret. Tsunade's emotional state was... intense. Focused. Slightly concerning in ways he couldn't articulate.
"I will... consider it," he said.
Tsunade beamed at him like he'd just agreed to marry her.
"Wonderful! I'll make reservations. Somewhere private. Very private. Where no one can interrupt us."
She swept out of the warehouse, already planning the evening.
Gary watched her go with a growing sense of unease.
Is this normal behavior? he wondered. Is this how people in this world express friendship?
She seems very enthusiastic about caloric content.
He created a donut and ate it thoughtfully.
I'm sure it's fine.
It was not fine.
Over the next three days, Tsunade's behavior escalated from "enthusiastic" to "concerning" to "someone should probably intervene."
She visited Gary's warehouse at least six times per day. She found excuses to touch him constantly—adjusting his collar, checking his pulse (did mochi men even have pulses?), measuring his arms for "medical records." She brought him gifts: food, books, a very large blanket that she insisted he needed despite his obvious ability to create anything he wanted from mochi.
She also started... hovering.
Gary would be walking through the village, and Tsunade would appear beside him. He would be practicing his abilities in the training ground, and Tsunade would be watching from the sidelines. He would be having a conversation with Sakumo, and Tsunade would materialize out of nowhere to join them.
"Is it just me," Sakumo muttered during one such interruption, "or has Tsunade-hime been acting strange lately?"
"She seems attentive," Gary said.
"Attentive is one word for it." Sakumo glanced at Tsunade, who was pretending to read a scroll while obviously watching Gary from across the training ground. "Obsessive might be another."
"Obsessive?"
"Have you noticed she's color-coordinated her outfits to match your hair?"
Gary looked at Tsunade. She was wearing a crimson dress that did, indeed, match his hair color almost exactly.
"That is... coincidental?"
"Three days in a row?"
Gary had no response to this.
The truth was, he had noticed Tsunade's increased attention. He just didn't know what to do about it. In his previous life, no one had ever paid this much attention to him. He had been invisible, forgettable, the human equivalent of background noise.
But now, Tsunade was treating him like he was the most important person in the world. And while part of him was flattered, another part was deeply confused.
What does she want from me? he wondered. I told her my story. She said she wanted to be there for me. Is this what 'being there' looks like?
Is this normal?
His Observation Haki wasn't helping. It told him that Tsunade's emotions were intense—warmth, affection, desire, possessiveness—but it didn't tell him what to do with that information.
Maybe this is just how Senju people express friendship, Gary decided. Maybe I'm overthinking it.
He was definitely overthinking it. He was also definitely underthinking it. The correct amount of thinking remained elusive.
Meanwhile, Tsunade had acquired a notebook.
The notebook was labeled "Research" on the outside. On the inside, it contained the following:
Page 1: "Katakuri's Daily Schedule (Observed)"
6:00 AM: Wakes up6:15 AM: Creates breakfast (usually donuts)6:30 AM: Sits in silence, possibly contemplating7:00 AM: Sakumo visits (COMPETITION?)8:00 AM: Training12:00 PM: Lunch (I should bring lunch)etc.
Page 2: "Katakuri's Preferences (Observed)"
Favorite food: Donuts (obviously)Favorite color: Unknown, possibly crimson?Favorite person: ME (hopefully)
Page 3: "Potential Rivals (Threat Assessment)"
Sakumo: MEDIUM THREAT, too friendly, watches Katakuri with admiring eyesJiraiya: LOW THREAT, more interested in women than menRandom villagers: MINIMAL THREAT, but should monitorAny woman who looks at him: HIGH THREAT, eliminate immediately (metaphorically)
Page 4: "Wedding Plans (Preliminary)"
Venue: Senju compound (traditional)Guest list: Small, intimate, no one who might steal his attentionHoneymoon: Somewhere private, very private, no interruptionsChildren: At least three, possibly more, need to research if mochi-human hybrid is possible
Tsunade flipped through her notebook with satisfaction.
Everything is proceeding according to plan, she thought. Soon, he will realize that we are meant to be together. And then nothing will keep us apart.
Nothing.
In the corner of the room, a small spider watched her with what might have been concern.
Even the spiders were worried.
Gary, blissfully unaware of the notebook's existence, was starting to feel restless.
It had been over a week since he arrived in Konoha. He had attended meetings, demonstrated his abilities, made friends, and somehow become the subject of at least two conspiracy theories that he didn't know about.
But he was no closer to understanding his place in this world.
I'm not a shinobi, he thought, sitting on his mochi throne in the warehouse. I don't belong to this village. I don't have a purpose here beyond being intimidating.
What am I supposed to do? Just... exist? Forever?
The question gnawed at him. In his previous life, he had existed without purpose for thirty-two years, and it had been miserable. He didn't want to repeat that experience, even with superpowers.
Maybe I should explore, he thought. See the world. Learn about this place. Find something worth doing.
It was an appealing idea. He had the power to go anywhere, do anything. No one could stop him. No one could threaten him. He could walk from one end of the Elemental Nations to the other and nothing would stand in his way.
Yes, he decided. I'll leave. Travel. See what's out there.
Tsunade will understand. She's a friend. Friends support each other's decisions.
He had no idea how wrong he was.
"LEAVING?!"
Tsunade's voice cracked the windows of the Hokage's office. Several ANBU dropped from the ceiling in surprise. Hiruzen's inkwell shattered from the vibration.
"Yes," Gary said calmly. "I wish to explore this land. See what lies beyond this village. I have been stationary for too long."
"But—but—" Tsunade sputtered. "You can't just leave! What about your accommodations? What about your research? What about—about—"
What about me? she didn't say, but everyone heard it anyway.
"I will return eventually," Gary said. "I am not leaving forever. I simply wish to travel."
"I'll come with you!"
"That is not necessary."
"It's absolutely necessary! You don't know this world! You could get lost, or attacked, or—or—"
"I killed Hanzo by accident," Gary reminded her gently. "I do not believe I will be attacked by anything I cannot handle."
Tsunade's face cycled through several expressions—desperation, frustration, something that looked alarmingly like rage—before settling on a forced calm.
"At least let me prepare supplies for you," she said. "Medical equipment. Maps. Emergency rations."
"I can create everything I need from mochi."
"Mochi isn't medicine!"
"I do not require medicine."
"You might!"
Gary looked at her with something approaching concern. His Observation Haki was practically screaming at him, but he still couldn't interpret what it was saying.
"Tsunade," he said carefully. "Are you... well?"
"I'm fine! I'm completely fine! Why wouldn't I be fine?" She laughed, a sound that was approximately thirty percent too loud. "I just think it's irresponsible for you to wander off into unknown territory without proper preparation!"
"I appreciate your concern. But I have made my decision."
Tsunade's eye twitched.
In the corner, Jiraiya and Sakumo exchanged alarmed glances.
"Should we... intervene?" Sakumo whispered.
"And say what? 'Please stop obsessing over the giant mochi man'?" Jiraiya shook his head. "I'm not getting between Tsunade and something she wants. I value my organs in their current arrangement."
"But she's clearly not thinking rationally."
"When has Tsunade ever thought rationally about anything?"
Sakumo had to concede the point.
Meanwhile, Tsunade was employing a new strategy: guilt.
"After everything I've done for you," she said, her voice quavering. "After all the time we've spent together. After you told me your story, and I held you while you cried—you're just going to LEAVE?"
"I told you I would return."
"BUT WHEN? How long will you be gone? Days? Weeks? MONTHS?"
"I do not know."
"HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?!"
Gary was genuinely baffled by her reaction. He had thought their friendship was solid enough to survive a temporary absence. He had thought she would support his desire for exploration.
He had not anticipated this.
"Tsunade," he said, trying a different approach. "You have your own life here. Your hospital. Your research. Your teammates. You do not need me to be present every moment."
"That's—that's not the point!"
"Then what is the point?"
Tsunade opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.
I love you, she wanted to say. I can't stand the thought of you being somewhere I can't see you. I need to know you're safe, need to know no one else is talking to you, touching you, looking at you with interest. I need you to stay here, where I can protect what's mine.
But she couldn't say any of that. Not here, not in front of everyone.
"Fine," she said tightly. "Go. Explore. See the world."
"Thank you for understanding."
"But I'm giving you something first." She pulled a small scroll from her pocket. "A summoning contract. If you're ever in trouble—real trouble—use this. It will let me know where you are."
Gary accepted the scroll with some confusion. "I am not certain what could constitute 'real trouble' for me."
"Humor me."
He nodded and tucked the scroll away. "I will. Thank you, Tsunade."
He turned and walked out of the Hokage's office, his massive form ducking through the doorway and disappearing down the corridor.
Tsunade stood frozen, watching him go.
"Tsunade?" Jiraiya ventured carefully. "Are you—"
"I'm fine," she said flatly.
"You don't look fine."
"I said I'm FINE."
She turned and walked out, moving in the opposite direction from Katakuri.
Jiraiya, Sakumo, and Hiruzen stood in the aftermath, contemplating what had just happened.
"She's going to follow him," Jiraiya said.
"Obviously," Sakumo agreed.
"Should we stop her?"
"Can we stop her?"
Silence.
"I'll prepare the recovery team," Hiruzen sighed.
Gary left Konoha through the main gate, nodding to the guards as he passed. They stared at him with the usual mixture of awe and terror, but said nothing.
The road stretched out before him, winding through forests and hills toward destinations unknown. Gary took a deep breath of the fresh air and felt something loosen in his chest.
Freedom, he thought. This is what freedom feels like.
In his previous life, he had never traveled. Never explored. Never done anything adventurous or spontaneous. He had gone from home to work to home again, day after day, year after year, until a taco truck had ended his monotonous existence.
But now? Now he could go anywhere. Do anything. See everything.
This is what I should have been doing from the start, he realized. Not sitting in a warehouse waiting for people to come to me. Actually living.
He walked for several hours, enjoying the scenery. The forests of Fire Country were beautiful—tall trees with leaves that caught the sunlight, birds singing in the branches, small animals scurrying through the underbrush. It was peaceful in a way that Konoha, with its constant surveillance and political intrigue, had never been.
Gary created a donut and ate it as he walked.
This is nice, he thought. Just me, the road, and—
His Observation Haki pinged a warning.
Multiple presences. Moving fast. Converging on his position.
Gary stopped walking and turned to face the direction of the approaching chakra signatures. There were at least twenty of them, moving in coordinated formation through the trees.
Shinobi, he realized. But not Konoha. The signatures feel different.
He stood calmly, arms crossed, waiting.
They emerged from the treeline in perfect synchronization—masked figures in black clothing, moving with the silent precision of trained killers. They surrounded him in a loose circle, keeping their distance, weapons drawn.
Gary studied them with mild curiosity.
"You are not from Konoha," he observed.
No response. The masked figures simply watched him, waiting.
One of them stepped forward—a larger presence than the others, radiating an aura of authority despite his unremarkable appearance. His mask was different: blank where the others had stylized animal designs.
"Katakuri," the figure said. His voice was flat, emotionless. "The Hokage has become too attached to you. Too reliant. This cannot be allowed to continue."
Gary's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Who are you?"
"We are ROOT. We serve the true interests of Konoha, not the sentimental whims of its leader." The figure raised a hand, and the surrounding operatives tensed. "You are too dangerous to remain uncontrolled. Too unpredictable. You must be... contained."
Gary felt something he hadn't felt since arriving in this world: annoyance.
"Contained," he repeated.
"Yes. You will come with us. We will study your abilities, replicate what can be replicated, and ensure that your power serves Konoha's interests properly."
"And if I refuse?"
"That is not an option."
Gary sighed.
I was having such a nice walk.
"Who leads you?" he asked. "Who commands ROOT?"
The figure paused. "That information is classified."
"Let me guess." Gary's voice dropped to a lower register. "An old man. Bandaged. Missing an arm, perhaps. Believes he knows better than everyone else how to protect the village. Has probably done terrible things in the name of 'the greater good.'"
Silence from the ROOT operatives. Gary could sense their surprise—carefully hidden, but present.
"Danzo Shimura," Gary said. "That is who you serve."
"How do you—"
"It does not matter." Gary uncrossed his arms. "What matters is this: you have made a mistake. A significant one."
"We do not make mistakes."
"You made one when you decided to confront me."
Gary moved.
To the ROOT operatives, he simply disappeared. One moment he was standing in the center of their formation; the next, he was behind them, and three of their members were embedded in trees with donut-shaped holes in their armor.
"Non-lethal," Gary said, almost to himself. "For now."
The remaining operatives sprang into action. Kunai flew toward Gary from multiple directions. Hand signs flashed as jutsu were prepared.
Gary didn't bother dodging.
The kunai struck his body and passed through—his mochi form parting around the blades like water around stones. The jutsu—fire, wind, lightning—washed over him without effect. His Observation Haki had already predicted every attack, and his Logia-like properties made them meaningless anyway.
"My turn," Gary said.
He extended his arms, and mochi flowed outward like a living thing. It spread across the ground, coating the forest floor in a layer of pink. The ROOT operatives tried to retreat, but they were already standing on it.
The mochi rose up around them, trapping their legs, their arms, their entire bodies. In seconds, seventeen ROOT operatives were immobilized, wrapped in cocoons of sticky pink substance with only their heads exposed.
"Impressive coordination," Gary said, walking among the trapped figures. "Admirable discipline. But ultimately pointless."
He stopped in front of the leader, the one who had spoken.
"Tell Danzo something for me," Gary said. "Tell him that I am not a resource to be controlled. I am not a weapon to be wielded. I am Katakuri. And if ROOT bothers me again, I will not be so gentle."
He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper.
"I know what he has done. The experiments. The conditioning. The children he has broken and reshaped. I know all of it."
The ROOT operative's eyes widened behind his mask.
"One day," Gary continued, "I may decide that such things cannot be allowed to continue. And on that day, no amount of operatives, no amount of planning, no amount of 'roots' will save him."
He straightened up.
"But today is not that day. Today, I am being merciful. Remember that."
He walked away, leaving the trapped ROOT operatives behind.
The mochi would dissolve in a few hours. They would return to Danzo with his message. And hopefully, the old warmonger would be smart enough to heed it.
Hopefully.
Gary continued his walk, putting the incident behind him.
Where was I? Oh yes. Freedom. Fresh air. Nice scenery.
Much better.
Three hundred miles away, in an underground chamber that officially did not exist, Danzo Shimura received the report.
His single visible eye twitched.
"He defeated twenty ROOT operatives," Danzo said flatly.
"Yes, Danzo-sama."
"In seconds."
"Yes, Danzo-sama."
"Without apparent effort."
"Yes, Danzo-sama."
Danzo was silent for a long moment.
"And his message?"
The operative hesitated. "He said... he knows. About the experiments. The conditioning. Everything. He said that if ROOT bothers him again, he will not be gentle. And that one day, he may decide such things cannot be allowed to continue."
Danzo's jaw tightened.
He had dealt with powerful enemies before. He had schemed against Kage, manipulated jinchuuriki, survived conflicts that would have destroyed lesser men. He was Danzo Shimura, the Shinobi of Darkness, and he did not fear anyone.
But this...
He knows, Danzo thought. He knows things he should not know. Things that are buried so deeply even the Hokage doesn't have access to them.
How? What is he?
For the first time in decades, Danzo felt something unfamiliar.
Doubt.
"Recall all ROOT operatives," he ordered. "No further contact with Katakuri without my explicit approval."
"Yes, Danzo-sama."
"And double the guard on my location. Triple it."
"Yes, Danzo-sama."
The operative left, and Danzo sat alone in the darkness, contemplating a threat he didn't know how to counter.
One day, Katakuri had said. One day I may decide such things cannot be allowed to continue.
Danzo did not sleep well that night.
Meanwhile, in other parts of the world, news was spreading.
It started with Suna. Shamon, despite his ongoing mental health challenges, had managed to file a coherent report about Katakuri before the sedatives kicked in again. That report made its way through Suna's intelligence networks and eventually reached their allies and enemies alike.
Then came reports from Konoha itself. Merchants, travelers, and spies all carried stories of the giant who had killed Hanzo. The stories grew with each telling—Katakuri became taller, stronger, more terrifying.
By the time the reports reached Iwagakure, Katakuri was reportedly forty feet tall and could destroy mountains with a sneeze.
"This is absurd," the Tsuchikage muttered, reading the latest intelligence brief. "No one is forty feet tall."
"The more reliable reports say sixteen to seventeen feet, Tsuchikage-sama."
"That's still ridiculous."
"The reports also confirm he killed Hanzo the Salamander with a single attack. From three miles away."
The Tsuchikage was silent.
"Put him in the Bingo Book," he ordered finally. "Highest threat classification."
"What bounty should we assign?"
The Tsuchikage considered. Hanzo had been worth 500 million ryo—one of the highest bounties ever issued. But Katakuri had killed Hanzo without effort. And if the reports were even partially accurate, he was more dangerous than anyone currently in the book.
"One billion ryo," he said.
His aides gasped.
"Tsuchikage-sama, that's—"
"I know what it is. But anyone who can kill this monster is worth the investment." The Tsuchikage's eyes were hard. "And if no one can, at least the bounty will ensure everyone knows how seriously we're taking the threat."
The order went out. Within days, Katakuri's face—based on witness descriptions and artistic interpretation—was in every Bingo Book in the Elemental Nations.
KATAKURI
Classification: SSS-Rank
Bounty: 1,000,000,000 Ryo (Dead or Alive)
Abilities: Unknown (presumed extensive)
Threat Level: EXTREME
Approach with EXTREME CAUTION
Additional Note: Do not engage alone. Do not engage in groups. Preferably do not engage at all. Just run.
The bounty hunters saw the billion-ryo figure and started making plans.
The smart shinobi saw the threat level and started making escape routes.
And somewhere in the forests of Fire Country, completely unaware that he was now the most wanted man in the world, Gary was enjoying a particularly good donut.
This is nice, he thought. Very peaceful.
I should travel more often.
Three days into his journey, Gary became aware that he was being followed.
Not by ROOT—their chakra signatures were distinct, and he had memorized them. Not by any shinobi he recognized, either. This presence was trying to stay hidden, keeping its distance, moving only when he moved.
But it was there. Always there. A persistent shadow that his Observation Haki couldn't quite identify.
Interesting, Gary thought. Someone is tracking me. Either a bounty hunter who doesn't know what they're getting into, or...
He paused.
...or someone from Konoha who doesn't want me to know they're following.
Tsunade.
It had to be. No one else would follow him this persistently, this carefully. She had said she understood his need to travel, but her emotional state when he left had been anything but understanding.
Should I confront her? Gary wondered. Tell her I know she's there?
But something held him back. His Observation Haki was reading her emotional state even from this distance—anxiety, longing, something almost desperate. She wasn't following him to attack or spy. She was following him because she couldn't bear to let him out of her sight.
She needs help, Gary realized. Something is wrong with her. This isn't normal behavior, even for someone with strong feelings.
But what do I do about it?
He didn't know. Emotional problems were not his specialty. He had spent thirty-two years avoiding emotional problems, and then another week or so pretending to be a stoic anime character.
I'll confront her eventually, he decided. But not yet. Let her follow for now. Maybe she'll realize on her own that this isn't healthy.
It was a coward's decision, and Gary knew it. But he made it anyway.
One problem at a time.
He continued walking, pretending not to notice the shadow that moved when he moved, stopped when he stopped, and watched him with eyes that held something beyond mere friendship.
In the trees, Tsunade tracked her target with the skill of a trained hunter.
She had been following Katakuri for three days now. She had watched him walk, eat, sleep (did he sleep? he seemed to enter a meditative state rather than actual slumber), and occasionally practice his abilities.
She had watched him handle the ROOT attack with effortless grace. Had watched him trap those operatives like insects in amber, deliver his warning, and walk away as if it was nothing.
So powerful, she thought. So beautiful. So perfect.
And he doesn't even know I'm here.
She had told herself this was about protection. Katakuri didn't know this world, didn't understand its dangers. He needed someone to watch over him, to make sure he was safe.
But she knew the truth.
She was here because she couldn't stay away.
He'll understand eventually, she told herself. He'll see that I'm the only one who truly cares about him. The only one who would follow him to the ends of the earth.
And then he'll love me the way I love him.
She clutched her notebook—now expanded to include "Katakuri's Traveling Behaviors (Observed)"—and continued her silent pursuit.
This was love, she told herself.
This was completely normal.
Everything was fine.
Back in Konoha, Jiraiya stared at the mission report on his desk.
"Tsunade went after him," he said flatly.
"Yes," Sakumo confirmed. "She left the village approximately four hours after Katakuri did. She's been tracking him ever since."
"And no one stopped her?"
"Who was going to stop her? The guards? They're terrified of her. The ANBU? They're terrified of what she might do to them. The Hokage? He's too busy with his conspiracy board."
Jiraiya rubbed his temples. "This is bad. This is very bad."
"I know."
"Tsunade has attachment issues. We've always known that. But this is beyond normal attachment. This is..."
"Obsession?"
"I was going to say 'deeply concerning psychological fixation,' but sure, obsession works."
Sakumo sat down heavily. "What do we do?"
"I don't know. Katakuri can handle himself—he doesn't need protection from Tsunade. But Tsunade..." Jiraiya sighed. "She's going to ruin whatever relationship they have if she keeps this up. And if she realizes that, in her current state..."
"She might do something drastic."
"Exactly."
They sat in silence, contemplating the situation.
"Should we go after them?" Sakumo asked.
"And do what? Talk sense into Tsunade? You know how well that works."
"We have to do something."
"I know." Jiraiya stood up. "I'll go. You stay here, keep things running. If I'm not back in a week, assume I've been punched into next month and send a search party."
"Be careful."
"When am I not careful?"
"Do you want that list alphabetically or chronologically?"
Jiraiya left without responding.
Days passed.
Gary continued his journey, moving through Fire Country and into the no-man's-land between nations. He saw villages and cities, farms and forests, rivers and mountains. He encountered bandits (who fled the moment they saw him), merchants (who stared in awe), and ordinary people (who mostly screamed).
He also encountered bounty hunters.
The first group arrived on day five—a team of three shinobi who had clearly not read the fine print on the Bingo Book entry. They attacked with confidence, throwing jutsu and weapons with practiced precision.
Gary trapped them in mochi and left them hanging from a tree.
The second group was larger—seven shinobi, better coordinated, with a plan. They tried to attack from multiple directions simultaneously, overwhelming him with numbers.
Gary created donut portals and punched all seven of them in the face without moving from his spot.
The third group didn't attack at all. They took one look at Gary, saw the first two groups trapped in mochi nearby, and simply left.
Smart, Gary thought approvingly.
By day seven, word had spread. The bounty on Katakuri was still officially one billion ryo, but no one was collecting. Every hunter who tried either failed spectacularly or ran away before trying.
The Bingo Book entry was updated:
Additional Note 2: Seriously, do not engage. We've lost seventeen hunters this week. It's not worth it.
Gary found this amusing.
He also found it lonely.
I left Konoha to find purpose, he thought, sitting on a mochi throne he'd created on a hilltop overlooking a vast valley. But all I've found is scenery and people who run away from me.
Is this what the rest of my existence will be? Wandering alone, feared by everyone?
It wasn't an appealing prospect.
He thought about Sakumo, who had offered friendship without expecting anything in return. He thought about Tsunade, whose affection—however excessive—had made him feel valued. He thought about Jiraiya's jokes and even Orochimaru's disturbing fascination.
Connection, he realized. I was looking for purpose, but what I really wanted was connection.
And I left it behind.
His Observation Haki pinged, and Gary sighed.
Speaking of connection...
"You can come out, Tsunade," he called. "I know you've been following me."
Silence.
Then, slowly, a figure emerged from the treeline.
Tsunade looked... rough. Her hair was tangled, her clothes were dirty, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She had clearly been pushing herself hard to keep up with him.
"How long have you known?" she asked.
"Since you started."
"Then why didn't you say anything?"
"I was hoping you would realize on your own that this behavior is not healthy."
Tsunade flinched as if struck.
"Not healthy? I was protecting you!"
"From what? I am the most dangerous thing in this country. Possibly this world."
"You don't know this land! You don't know its dangers!"
"I handled ROOT without effort. I have trapped twenty-seven bounty hunters without breaking a sweat. What danger could possibly threaten me?"
Tsunade's face twisted. "That's not—I wasn't—"
"You followed me because you could not stand to be apart from me," Gary said quietly. "That is not concern. That is obsession."
"IT'S LOVE!"
The word hung in the air between them.
Tsunade's eyes widened, as if she hadn't meant to say it. But she didn't take it back.
"I love you," she said, her voice cracking. "I know it's crazy. I know we've only known each other for a short time. But I love you. And the thought of you being out here, alone, where I can't see you, where I can't touch you, where someone else might—"
She stopped, unable to continue.
Gary looked at her with something approaching sadness.
She's broken, he realized. Something in her is broken. And I don't know how to fix it.
"Tsunade," he said gently. "What you are feeling is not love. It is dependency. Possessiveness. A need to control what you are afraid of losing."
"Don't tell me what I feel!"
"I am not telling you what you feel. I am telling you what I observe." He descended from his throne and walked toward her. "You have attached your emotional wellbeing to my presence. That is not sustainable. It is not healthy. And it will not lead to happiness for either of us."
Tsunade's hands were shaking. "So what? You want me to just stop caring? Stop feeling?"
"I want you to care for yourself first. To find stability within yourself, not in another person." Gary stopped in front of her, looking down at her small form. "I care for you, Tsunade. More than I expected to. But I cannot be the foundation of your mental health. That is not fair to either of us."
Tears were streaming down Tsunade's face now.
"I don't know how to do that," she whispered. "I've always needed someone. Dan, Nawaki, my grandfather—I've lost everyone I've ever loved. And when I found you, when you let me see the real you, I thought—I thought maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time I wouldn't lose."
Gary's heart ached. Not his mochi heart—his actual, emotional heart.
She's not obsessed with me, he realized. She's terrified of loss. And her fear has manifested as a desperate need to control.
I understand that fear. I lived with it for thirty-two years.
He knelt down, bringing his face closer to her level.
"You will not lose me," he said softly. "I am not going to die. I am not going to abandon you. But I need you to trust that. To believe it without needing to watch me every moment."
"How can I trust that? Everyone says they won't leave. Everyone says they'll come back. And then they don't."
"Because they were mortal. They could be killed. I cannot." Gary placed a massive hand on her shoulder—gently, carefully. "I killed Hanzo by accident. I have defeated everyone who has tried to challenge me without effort. There is nothing in this world that can take me from you. Nothing."
Tsunade looked up at him, her tear-streaked face filled with desperate hope.
"You promise?"
"I promise."
She collapsed against him, sobbing into his chest. Gary wrapped his arms around her as best he could, holding her while she cried.
I'm not good at this, he thought. I don't know how to help someone heal.
But I can try.
They stayed like that for a long time, the legendary medic and the impossible giant, finding something like peace in each other's presence.
And in the distance, watching from behind a tree, Jiraiya nodded to himself.
Maybe they'll be okay, he thought. Maybe they can figure this out together.
He turned and began the long walk back to Konoha.
I'll give them space. But I'll be ready if they need me.
Two days later, Gary and Tsunade returned to Konoha together.
They walked through the village gates side by side—or as close to side by side as a sixteen-foot giant and a normal-sized woman could manage. The guards stared. The civilians stared. Everyone stared.
But for once, Tsunade didn't care about the stares.
She was different now. Not fixed—healing took time, and her issues ran deep. But different. More aware of her own behavior. More willing to examine her feelings rather than act on them blindly.
And Gary... Gary was different too.
He had left Konoha seeking purpose. He had found something else instead: someone who needed him. Not for his power, not for his intimidation factor, but for who he was underneath.
Maybe that's enough, he thought. Maybe being needed is a kind of purpose.
They were met at the Hokage's tower by Hiruzen (who had finally been pried away from his conspiracy board), Sakumo (who looked relieved), and a collection of officials who wanted to discuss "recent developments."
"The bounty," Hiruzen said, gesturing to a copy of the Bingo Book. "One billion ryo. The highest ever issued."
Gary looked at the entry. The artistic interpretation of his face was... not accurate. They had made him look more menacing than he actually was, with glowing red eyes and what appeared to be smoke coming from his mouth.
"I see," he said.
"This changes things. You are now a target for every bounty hunter, missing-nin, and ambitious shinobi in the Elemental Nations."
"They are welcome to try."
"That's not—" Hiruzen sighed. "The point is, your presence in Konoha will attract unwanted attention. We will be seen as harboring the most wanted man in the world."
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No!" Tsunade said immediately.
Hiruzen held up a hand. "No. You have helped us immensely, and we do not abandon our friends. But we need to prepare for the consequences."
Gary nodded slowly. "I understand. I will do what I can to minimize the burden on your village."
"That's all we ask." Hiruzen paused. "Also, I've been meaning to ask—are you by any chance descended from the Sage of Six Paths? Your abilities bear certain similarities to ancient legends, and I have a theory—"
"Lord Hokage," Sakumo interrupted. "Perhaps that discussion can wait."
"But my board—"
"The board can wait."
Hiruzen looked disappointed but subsided.
Gary caught Sakumo's eye and nodded slightly. The White Fang had saved him from what would undoubtedly have been a very confusing conversation.
One billion ryo, Gary thought as the meeting continued. That's a lot of money. I wonder how much that is in dollars.
Probably doesn't matter. I doubt I'll ever see a cent of it.
He created a donut and ate it while the officials droned on about security measures and diplomatic implications.
Just another day in my new life, he thought.
At least the donuts are good.
In her quarters, recovered from her journey and freshly bathed, Tsunade opened her notebook.
She flipped past the old entries—the schedules, the threat assessments, the wedding plans—and started a new page.
Recovery Plan
Step 1: Recognize when I'm being irrational
Step 2: Talk about feelings instead of stalking
Step 3: Trust that Katakuri will come back
Step 4: Find purpose outside of relationship
Step 5: ...
She paused, then wrote:
Step 5: Be someone worth loving, not just someone who loves.
She stared at the words for a long moment.
I can do this, she told herself. I can be better.
For him. For myself.
She closed the notebook and placed it in a drawer.
Tomorrow, she would start working on Step 1.
Tonight, she would sleep.
And for the first time in weeks, she did so peacefully.
BINGO BOOK UPDATE
KATAKURI
Bounty: 1,000,000,000 Ryo
Status: Active, Location Confirmed (Konohagakure)
Recent Activity: Defeated ROOT (Konoha Black Ops), Captured 27 Bounty Hunters, Returned to Village
Recommendation: AVOID AT ALL COSTS
Seriously. We're not kidding.
The billion ryo is not worth your life.
Please stop trying.