Dirdos took her down into the basement and set her down on the first floor before retreating. She hadn't been down there since she had released Hunter, and she made a glancing note that the door had been repaired but otherwise she kept her back to that room.
"Kai?" she called out, clutching the back of the couch and looking around.
There was no response, and she frowned, turning to the bathroom to find it was closed. Approaching it slowly, her body radiated with pain and she knocked quietly on the door, jerking slightly as it was yanked open and Kai stood there in a towel, looking down at her with a mixture of anger and fear.
She had never seen him look at her like that, and she felt a stab of panic going through her at what it might mean. Kai was one of the only reasons she had not to run and without him?
Her mind immediately went to where she could run to as soon as she was able, and she tried to push it down.
"Are you alright? The others said you didn't want to train." She couldn't look him in the eyes again after seeing that expression and she took a wobbly step back so he could leave the bathroom without having to get too close to her.
He didn't speak, he only watched her with that same expression.
The need to run was growing inside her and she wasn't sure if it was because she was near that room, or because Kai seemed too not like her anymore. Probably both, but she didn't know for sure.
"Do you remember last night?" he asked finally, and she nodded, staring down at the hinge of the bathroom door.
"I couldn't make it go back down," she told the hinge.
"Make what go back down?"
"That part of myself."
"Is that what you're really like?" he demanded, and she flinched.
"Mostly, but the sexual stuff… I didn't know that was there. I didn't know that would happen."
"How do you see me?" he asked suddenly.
She frowned, not sure she understood the question. "What do you mean?" she asked warily.
"How is it you see me? What do you see when you look at me, when you think about me?"
"I don't know, Kai, you're just Kai."
He nodded slowly, and she frowned, trying to understand his line of thought.
"What do you see when you think about me?" she was genuinely curious and yet terrified about what his answer might be.
"Etani, this beautiful creature who I shouldn't love, but do."
What did that mean? She couldn't even guess at that and she shook her head, her face confused.
"I want to try something…" he said, and she watched him as he thought it over and then seemed to come to a decision.
He moved forward and his hands found her cheeks, light and trembling as he looked down into her terrified eyes.
"What are you doing?" she asked in a whisper, not sure and unable to pull away from him.
"Shh, just… I won't hurt you," he said.
She was afraid, but she remained still, trying to guess what he was thinking by the way he was looking at her.
He kissed her, a soft and tender thing that had her mind going blank for a second.
No, that was Kai… Kai shouldn't be kissing her, not like that… It was weird, wrong, and yet she couldn't tell why it was weird. It wasn't weird, it was only weird because she felt it should be.
His lips tasted of mint and he smelt lightly of sandalwood and the spice of vampire, warm and inviting. He was warm and soft, gentle with her while she tried to understand what was happening. She didn't understand, and yet she didn't dislike it.
He lingered there, just a simple brush of his lips on hers and his eyes had closed, his brows furrowed in confusion over what was going through his head.
She was torn, unsure of what to do and yet she wanted to know this possibility.
Her body unlocked, and she lifted her hands, her fingers light on his forearms and her chin lifted up into the kiss. It was still soft, almost cautious, but she met it instead of enduring it.
He responded to her with a suddenness she didn't expect and yet there was no hurry to it, no demand and only a question, a sweetness she had never known before.
His right hand left her and slid slowly around her waist, his left trailing down just enough so that he could trace his thumb across her jaw, and she sighed, revelling in the tenderness of it all, the lack of insistence. He wanted her to want it, was asking her if she wanted his touch.
It was wonderful, slow and burning like a fire started with a flint, tiny and uncertain. It was pure and innocent.
It was the worst moment in the world for Jaia to walk in.
Neither of them had noticed him, too wrapped up in their thoughts and the feeling of being together, too wrapped up in the moment of curiosity to realise the threat.
The growl was low and deep, a feral sound that had them jerking back from each other and the only thing keeping her from falling over was Kai's arm around her.
Alarm filled her, and she wasn't sure what to do, or who Jaia was going to go for. Was it her because she was with his brother, or was it Kai because he was kissing her?
It seemed Jaia didn't know either, torn and fighting himself.
Dirdos appeared behind the furious man and he took in the scene in an instant, then he grabbed Jaia an instant before the vampire raged. He was screaming profanity at the both of them, mostly Kai for being a traitor but her too and the word 'whore' came up several times, even as the vampire was dragged out of the basement and she was left alone with a shaken Kai.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," he whimpered, but she shook her head.
"I should have stopped it…" she whispered, fear for the relationship of the twins driving her to act. "Get dressed and go up to training, we all need to keep on top of things," she told him, ignoring his protests. "That's an order, Kai."
He looked sullen, but he went, and she headed up the stairs at an agonising slowness, panting and sweating by the time she reached the top and she found the dragon holding the vampire in a bear hug, talking quietly to him.
Approaching the two, she looked down at Jaia with her best look of contempt.
"Do you have to ruin everything?" she demanded, knowing he was going to hate her for what she was going to do. But she couldn't ruin them, they needed each other.
"What were you doing?" Jaia demanded, fuming.
"I was curious. None of the others had struck my interest yet, so I wanted to see if Kai would."
He was incensed, and she smiled faintly to herself as his rage turned on her.
"Don't come near my brother again, you whore!" he screamed, and she shrugged.
"It wasn't to my liking anyway," she said, turning away from the two and heading down the hall.
She made it to the end of the hallway and around the corner before her mask began to crack and she slid into the first room she could find, sliding down the door and curling herself into a ball.
She hadn't intended for things to end up where they were, hadn't intended for Kai to love her like that. She had seen him as a child because he was her creation, but that had vanished in an instant, and she hated herself for loving him. She was destroying everything around her, breaking all the lives she touched, and they would all come to hate her for it. But that was for the best, they needed to hate her.
The thought started as a quiet whisper in the back of her mind, and she closed her eyes as it became louder and louder until it was screaming at her.
It was the right time to do it, no one would find out for hours and by then it wouldn't matter.
Pushing herself up, she headed to her room and grabbed her bag, throwing in what clothes she would need and pulling on her boots and a heavy bag of coins.
Taking the few precious things she owned, she stared at Cat on the windowsill, pain ripping through her as she thought about leaving him there. She didn't know if he would survive with her, odds were not, and she knew Kai would protect him.
Scribbling a note down for the vampire, she kissed the protesting feline on the head and set to work collecting what she would need.
Bandages, vials of fluids to treat her leg, elixir, pain killers, and a handful of syringes.
Her knives and swords were fixed into place and she headed for the balcony, looking at the rope that had been replaced so many times after wearing down from the use of everyone in her life.
Climbing down the rope, she was in agony, and she did her best to ignore it, heading towards the gates of the castle and out into the streets of Ayathian.
She would get onto one of the ships and be on an entirely different part of the world in a few days.
She had to escape them, she had to leave that life and let them find a new one without her.
She had to run.