How did things end up like this?
Two armies stood facing each other. We took the hill, while they spread their ranks and prepared for battle, chanting, making a racket, and beating their drums.
We answered with the sound of horns and took positions suitable for receiving a charge. Part of our forces moved to the right flank, in case those savages tried to surround us and attack from behind — or pull some other trick.
It was a terrifying feeling. I had watched war movies before, but when you see something like this with your own eyes, everything looks different. I saw two green masses of aura and bodies and imagined what would happen when all those goblins started slaughtering each other. I could see the scene in my mind so clearly that I took a step back…
"Pretty lively, that warlord," Valeria said, straightening her back and stretching as if she were about to start a workout at the gym.
Doirak and Mago, who stayed with us in the center (Borg took the left flank, and Zoggo guarded the foot of the hill on the right), looked at her, then at each other, sharing some strange understanding. The infantry commander turned to the vampire:
"That's the famous Shoma. He gained quite a reputation fighting orcs and Hakku's men in these lands… No one would have thought that this fatso would gather so many warriors and tame a real troll!"
Right. The huge brute was twisted, limping as if crippled, deformed, with gray-black skin, a long beard, and ears curved downward. It jumped from foot to foot, slammed its club against the ground, and howled like a maddened beast.
"This troll looks kind of scrawny. Like something's wrong with it. A birth defect, maybe? And not very muscular either. The ones I saw in my father's army were not only bigger, but armored from head to toe. This one? One good cut to the neck should be enough… It shouldn't be a problem."
Confident as always, I thought. Looking down, I saw the ordinary goblins — old reservists and even Doirak with the officers — bowing to her and almost celebrating the troll's death in advance!
As if they didn't realize that besides that beast, there was still a whole army of tribal warriors right behind it — while our best troops were riding around some lousy villages because of my stupidity. Damn it. What have I done… A lot of ours are going to die because of this.
Shoma stepped far ahead of his ranks, shaking a short spear and shouting something at the crowd. His voice carried all the way to us, hoarse and full of pride, drowned out only by the pounding of drums and the heavy breathing of the troll. The beast snorted, slammed its club into the ground, and I felt the hill tremble under my feet. The air was filled with the sour smell of sweat, wet hide, and heated earth, like before a storm. Goblins on both sides growled and bared their teeth, and I had the feeling that if someone sneezed right now, everything would explode into one huge slaughter.
"You filthy fraud! You blood-sucking islander! Show yourselves!" Shoma roared, pointing his short spear in our direction. "They say you're strong! That Zod chose you! That he protects you! Show me! My troll will crush you like rotten wood! Which one of you has the guts to face him!?"
The crowd behind him howled in approval, and the troll answered with a dull roar that made my ears ache. A chill ran along my scales and I felt a sudden, unpleasant knot in my stomach. I knew that if I stepped out now and tried to play the hero, I'd end up as a stain on the grass.
"Come on! False prophets! Liars! Come on, weaklings! I will be the one who saves the goblins! Not Zod. Not you. Me!"
I thought maybe Valeria would deal with him, but on the other hand I was afraid that crazy woman would tell me to go fight that monstrosity. I went quiet, as if trying to erase my own presence. Valeria, meanwhile, watched the whole show with a hint of embarrassment, inspecting her nails and making unflattering comments:
"I've never seen a goblin this full of himself. I thought we'd meet tomorrow in his village, when he'd be begging for mercy. Oh well… maybe it's better this way. At least I'll have more time for more important matters…"
Nails? Hair? Skin? Shoes!? What a carefree woman… But when I saw the text above her head, I understood she had every right to be. The fight in the wild dungeon and against Hakku did their job. Not to mention her secret nightly outings, from which she always came back cold and exhausted… I seriously doubt she spent that time counting stars…
[Level: 58
Threat: DEADLY]
How could she level up so fast!? Since our first proper meeting in the goblin village and the fight against the humans by the river, she had gained five whole levels! Meanwhile, I was still stuck at 29, and that damn number 30 just wouldn't show up. It was like some kind of curse had fallen on me! I was almost ashamed to be weaker than some of the Green Generals' officers… Emissary of Zod? Yeah, right…
Shoma was right.
Luckily, it's not always the side with the "right" that wins an argument. The vampire moved. It began!
I saw an explosion of black aura — even flames — forming walls along the path Valeria took down the hill. Nervous and scared, I felt the shadow around her thicken and the air grow heavier, squeezing my chest.
She really invested in this show!
Together with Doirak and Gyrd, who arrived at the last moment on a wolf, and a dozen goblins eager for a fight, we followed our queen from the edge of the hill.
"Our queen is magnificent… I can barely breathe," said the falcon's attendant, stroking its beak gently.
The rest of the goblins couldn't squeeze out a word. Doirak gripped his weapon as if expecting betrayal and an inevitable close-quarters fight.
I puffed out my chest and walked forward as confidently as I could. I heard someone behind me swallow nervously, armor creaking as warriors adjusted their grip on their weapons. The troll shifted its weight, breathing heavily, and every movement sounded like wet stone grinding against wet stone. I felt the coolness of my own scales under my fingers and that strange, unpleasant tingling in my neck that always came right before something very bad — or very stupid.
"You fight with words like a market fishmonger, Shoma," she scolded him, looking into the eyes of his warriors, who looked like they were barely holding themselves back from running away. "You call me weak? Unworthy of being Zod's chosen? Fine… I might even forgive you for that."
Her voice was cold and smooth, yet a shiver ran down my spine, as if someone dragged a claw across stone.
"But to insult the great Artax, personally chosen by Zod to oversee the rebuilding of his kingdom? Someone who devoured Hakku? Someone many times stronger than me!? You've lost your mind, you brainless, faithless goblin. And what are you famous for, anyway!? For your troll's strength? Very well, let's test it. Strength against strength. An arm-wrestling duel! If your troll wins, our entire alliance becomes your servants. But if I win… you become my slave, and all your subordinates become mine!"
She negotiates better than I do after studying economics… I swallowed. On one hand, she would save hundreds of lives if she won. On the other, she'd throw away all our achievements if she lost. Up close, the troll — still about four meters tall, even if a bit smaller than it looked from afar — didn't inspire much confidence. Its hand was bigger than her head!
Shoma narrowed his eyes and spat on the ground. "Tests? Ha! My troll will crush you in any test! In strength, in battle, in anything you want!" he yelled, then laughed loudly and nervously. "You want him to show his strength? Fine! Let him show it! Just don't cry when you're turned into paste!"
His warriors roared, and I had a very unpleasant feeling that Valeria was leading him exactly where she wanted.
It seemed both armies finally realized what was happening. A wide circle formed around Valeria and the troll, and both sides stared at each other with a mix of hostility, uncertainty, and anxiety. Shoma took his place as a second. I didn't wait long and stood next to Valeria, hissing loudly; my other head snarled furiously, making Shoma step back before he roared:
"Damn lizard! If that pale-skinned bitch loses, I'll turn you into a rug and take a shit right in the middle of it! Tch!"
What a brute. I wanted to tear him apart, but the burst of earth-brown aura from the enraged troll cooled my temper fast. Trying not to show fear, I looked at it with contempt and told the vampire not to show any mercy… Let her break that arm!
Soon, it began. Amid the loud blast of horns, shouts, and drums, several hobgoblins brought a massive, neatly cut tree stump and placed it between the troll and the vampire. Everyone gathered around the place of the trial. Everyone cheered for their own side, though many of Shoma's people stood silent, as if expecting the vampire to win.
"Show me what you've got, handsome," she joked. The troll, a little flustered, shook it off and almost lay down on the ground to get on the same level as the kneeling vampire. Its hardened hand was enormous, and when it grasped Valeria's arm, it reached almost up to her elbow!
"Begin! May the gods of the southern forest grant luck to the better one!" shouted one of Shoma's elder shamans, and the duel started.
I saw two terrifying explosions of aura. Some goblins fainted, others started bleeding from the nose. I felt like I was sliding down a gigantic slide and almost lost my breath. Both of them were serious.
The wood groaned. The troll had the advantage — Valeria's hand was going down. I saw her palm burst into black flames. After the first shock, the troll turned its skin to stone and slammed its other hand into the ground, shaking it so hard that one of the nearby elders fell over.
"Don't you dare lose, you idiot! You won't get any boar to eat for a month!"
At those words, the oversized brute found new strength and pushed even harder, but the vampire's hand still hovered just centimeters above the wood. The goblins on our side held their breath. I was already preparing to charge and building a plan in my head in case of defeat. There was no way I'd agree to become a servant of that freak!
"You're strong, sweetheart. I guess I'll have to get serious."
For a moment, I saw a strange fluctuation in the vampire's amber-crimson eye. The troll went blank. Its resistance stopped — maybe for a second, no longer. It was enough. The monster's hand hit the wood. Shoma collapsed to the ground, cursing up a storm. The troll roared in rage, but it couldn't do anything anymore.
Wild euphoria. Unrestrained joy exploded on our side. The Green Generals and hundreds of goblins rushed forward to praise and adore their victor — their queen and the chosen of the behemoths, the one who had slain Hakku!
"Long live Valeria Nocturne! She who is stronger than a troll! She who subdued the western villages! Long live Her Highness, the Vampire!"
I felt like Poland had just made it out of the FIFA World Cup group stage — which probably would never happen ^^ Bitterness flooded our former enemies, while songs and shouts of victory carried beyond the hill, into the thickets…
And in time, even to the far edges of the continent…
"My own little slave. What should I do with you, oh great troll tamer? I have a few ideas…"
Shoma looked terrified, and seeing how many of his people were already switching sides and not protesting the verdict at all, he only thought about how to stay alive. None of them seemed to notice the little trick — if it even was a trick. After all, nobody said hypnosis was forbidden, right?
To think that you could win a battle with arm wrestling... Even if I thought about this punitive expedition a thousand times before it began, I'd never come up with an ending like this. What a crazy story.
Seeing her smile, with the sole of her boot on Shoma's face, I thought that with this vampiress, anything seemed possible.