Everything makes sense now.
It obviously wasn't a normal goat, but who would have thought that it would be a primordial?
"Ghaf, what do we do now?" I asked.
"Dealing with it isn't a problem as long as I've got my foot on the ground. The problem is with shifting this thing up. Even if I throw this by a great distance, this persistent devil will still come back for us." He said.
Ghaf can easily overpower it. The problem now is with Kebab coming back to life. These damned primordials can somehow endlessly come back to life.
Hours passed as I and Ghaf tried various things to end this chaos, while Ghaf ripped Kebab apart, just for it to come back to life. Over and over and over.
We tried various things.
Pinning it with the stone manipulation magic [Tellus] didn't work– Kebab easily broke out of it.
Throwing it far into the jungle was an utter failure as it simply came back more vengeful. Running back to the village wasn't an option as that would only drag the crazed devil into the village.
I couldn't count on asking the elders for help, those geezers would ask something of equal value in return, just like any other barbarian would.
Ghaf tried trapping it deep underground and then bombarded it with rocks– it still broke through everything and came after us like that one friend who takes mom jokes seriously.
When we tried giving it food, it tried to eat us instead of the food– I barely saved my family jewels from being crushed.
Dawn was nearing and we've lost count of how many times we tried to silence this rabid primordial goat.
It behaved like the very person who gave it to me.
Now that I think of it, elder Anzu was the one who gave me this goat. That old geezer casually gave me an animal that he owned from a million years ago without doubting that it would be a primordial!?
I had more questions than answers.
I have smacked Kebab in the head several times for eating my blueprints– it never fought back. So why now?
Once, I've even used Kebab as a dummy for my Brazilian Ju-jitsu practice because he ate an extremely detailed blueprint of a weapon that took me days to come up with– the blueprint of an infamous urban weapon called "Neo-Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Canon"-- the design was top-notch.
(NOTE: Searching it up, you won't regret it.)
***
The tip of the sun was now visible.
We now had the risk of other barbarians getting involved in this matter. We can't let any barbarian have one on us, so we had to suppress the mad goat, somehow.
"Chosen one, any new ideas?"
There has to be a solution… Yes! Got it!
"Ghaf…" I trailed off as I did my best to hide my laughter.
I couldn't help but laugh, afterall, I finally found a solution to stop this rabid goat's rampage.
"Aaak! Khhh…!" I ended up choking on my saliva, thanks to laughing out loud like a maniac.
"Are you okay, Chosen One?"
Oh I feel very okay~
"I'm okay. Ghaf, tear that thing in half and throw the regenerating half into the village, preferably, right onto the elders hut."
Ghaf nodded, he didn't waste a second. He too was tired of dealing with Kebab so he didn't care to ask why..
"Let's sit back and relax for a while. What's going to happen in the village is not our problem anymore, so no need to pay anyone back." I said.
Ghaf was listening in awe.
Don't keep your mouth open like that, an insect might fly into it.
***
My right shoulder was still bleeding. It dyed my arm red. The cut was too deep, and I didn't have the items necessary to stitch it or cover it. There were no healing techniques in Zaryûn sorcery– none that I know of, at least –so Ghaf drew a rune on top of my wound and it somewhat reduced the bleeding– if it works, then it works.
I had Ghaf give me a piggy back ride. My whole body was wrecked. My survival now depends on my recovery as the elders have already decided to assign me to outer ring patrol.
When I entered the village, I couldn't see Kebab anywhere. People were going on about their day like nothing happened. The elders must have dealt with it without attracting any attention.
I slept through the whole day like a log and when I woke up, I was already late for patrol. I was supposed to report to the elders before sunrise but the sun had already risen.
I packed my tools, necessary items, and wore an upper garment. Barbarian men don't usually wear an upper garment unless they are out for patrol, hunting or combat.
I wrapped a bandage-like piece of cloth before slipping into my upper garment as I can't risk the chances of anyone seeing the rune on my shoulder, because according to the barbarians, using zaryûn was illegal before reaching adulthood. So I'd get into trouble if someone gets to know that I use zaryûn energy.
The last thing left to pack was food. Unfortunately, I ran out of food, so I packed my pet chicken that I named 'Honey Glazed Barbecue' into my fat, satchel-like backpack. BBQ tried to fight back so I had to force her into my bag by pushing her into it with my leg while holding the bag with both my hands. The persistent chicken was attacking me through the bag even as I wore it– that's how much BBQ hated me.
"Stand proud, Barbeque!" I yelled, looking back at my bag, "You were a formidable opponent!"
I then ran to the elders' hut before chugging half a liter of raw milk that I definitely didn't threaten anyone to deliver me on a daily basis.
When I entered the elders' chamber, they had their weapons placed in front of them for some reason. It was a rare sight.
Were they sparring?
Reporting late wasn't all bad because I got to see the elders' unique weapons.
Elder Zan-Ti uses a sword, just an old rough looking single edged sword– its handle was as long as its blade, so it looked like a fancy, unnecessarily large shaving blade to me.
Elder Anzu had his dual wielding short blades lying in front of him, they looked crude and dangerous. They looked like they had faced countless battles– I'd still bet Zan-Ti is older than those.
"You were thinking of something rude weren't you."
Then there was elder Inzu. I made a mental note to not think of him as a meek and herbivorous guy.
While the tiredness was visible on the faces of the other elders, elder Inzu showed no signs of tiredness. He was smiling, politely.
What's more scary is that he did not even have a weapon.
Could it be that he's more powerful than the other elders? Powerful enough to overpower them without a weapon?
"Hoho. Isn't someone late?" Teased elder Zan-Ti.
Does this poisonous hag not have anything better to do?
"That's right." Said elder Anzu, "Being late to duty is punishable but since it's you, it's fair to say you have interesting things to share as a compensation."
"Sure thing gramps." I said
Anzu raised his eyebrows when I called him 'gramps'.
I continued, "I do have something to share but I'm late for outer ring patrol, so can we please do this some other time?".
"Tch." Elder Anzu clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction, "You're gonna be patrolling the outer ring for a whole week, right? I don't have the patience to wait until then."
Aren't you the one who ordered me to patrol the outer ring in the first place? Stupid old geezer.
"Don't be like that Anzu." Said elder Zan-Ti, "You're always so impatient, that is also the reason why I always rejected your proposals."
That's news to me.
"Brother, please don't think of it that way. You got rejected only because she was already engaged." Said elder Inzu.
Elder Anzu's face darkened.
Just like always, the unpredictable hag dropped an 'Emotional Damage' flavored atomic bomb out of nowhere.
"Grrr…" Growled elder Anzu, "You stupid wh--"
—THEY FOUGHT FOR A FEW MINUTES—
"Hey elders, who's my patrol partner? It is an experienced person right? After all, it's the outer ring that we're going to patrol."
"Umm… actually…" Elder Inzu trailed off.
"No." Replied elder Zan-Ti, "It's another promising young warrior like you. He too has the potential to become the Leading Guardian, hence why we're assigning the both of you to the outer ring."
I've got nothing on barbarians when it comes to raw strength. Which means I'm going to be past-tensed by some wild beast if this other kid isn't strong.
"That young warrior will be waiting for you near the old sun dial, you better hurry." Said elder Zan-Ti.
This is my chance. I need to get out of here ASAP.
"Hold up, brat."
Just as I turned around to kick off at full speed, elder Anzu stopped me.
"Give me a basic idea of what you're going to tell us after your patrol. Is it another interesting story?"
I didn't expect him to ask this question. Guess I'll just make something up, he'll never know what it would mean anyway.
"No gramps. This time, it's going to be a song– a song called 'Sunshine Rainbow White Pony'."
"Hmm… interesting. What is it abou– Where did that brat go?"
I managed to run away when he retreated into his own little world of imagination.
"hmm… I wanted to ask him about the primordial incident this morning. That goat looked like the goat I gave to him." Said elder Anzu.
"What kind of an idiot would give someone else a primordial like as if it's a gift?" Chuckled elder Zan-Ti, "Do you know what's more idiotic? It's feeding a carrot to a primordial animal– like what you did when we were kids. Hahahaha!"
"Eeeek!" Elder Inzu squealed in fear before hiding behind his seat, knowing what's about to happen.
"I can never forget the time you fed a carrot to a goat, even though you knew primordial animals get violent. When we asked you why you said: "B-b-buT tHe goAt WaS Hungryyy". What an Idiot! Hahahahaha!"
"You blasphemous bi–"
—THEY FOUGHT AGAIN—
I made it to the old sundial's ruin which was located in the outer ring. I could see the shadow of a guy who was at the other side of the wall's edge.
The guy behind the wall detected my presence and jumped out excitedly. He went from 0 to 100 within a second. It startled me, but I made sure not to show any reaction as it could be disadvantageous.
"Hello there, comrade!" He greeted me, overflowing with excitement. "Just like you, I was handpicked by the elders to patrol the outer ring!. Hope we get alon– "
Oh boy… I wish I brought my cardboard box along with me. This guy is bad news.
The guy who was greeting me with excitement froze in dismay when he recognized me. Of course, I too recognized him.
"Y-y-you coward! Why did it have to be you!? You did something sketchy to deceive the elders into making them think you're a worthy candidate to become the Leading Guardian didn't you!?" He yelled.
Aaaah. What a pain… Let's try to act as if I don't know this guy.
"Hello there, young warrior Kamik." I said, "I believe this is the first time we're meeting."
"Stop lying!" He barked, "How would you know my name if we've never met before!?"
What a mess… There's no going back now.
I had messed up. Coming up with another lie to fix my previous lie would only guarantee a punch to my stomach from this monster.
Yep. My patrol partner is Kamik– the same Kamik who I humiliated by making him submit to a banana split. And I'm going to be stuck with this guy for an entire week? I'd rather take an arrow to my knee.
Wow. Sneaking out of this jungle just got more difficult.