Chapter 64: Unwanted Gifts
Jiraiya squinted, watching Liumu's face being smothered against Tsunade's ample chest. A feeling flashed through his mind.
No, not a feeling. Jealousy.
Blazing, all-consuming jealousy!
"Make a wish, Liumu!" Rin held out the cake, her eyes bright.
In the past, Liumu had dreaded birthdays. They felt as awkward and lonely as eating hotpot or watching a movie alone in his previous life. But now, facing the expectant, happy faces surrounding him, he simply smiled, closed his eyes, and blew out the flickering candle with a single puff.
"Woo~!" Cheers erupted. This time, Liumu didn't dodge the cake-smeared hands reaching for his cheeks. He even tilted his face obligingly into them.
By the end, his face was a colorful, frosting-smeared mess. Through blurry eyes, he spotted Haku standing quietly at the edge of the crowd. A sly grin spread across his sticky face. He leaned forward and rubbed his own cake-covered cheek directly against Haku's clean one.
"This is a blessing! How can your face be so spotless!"
"Do you know why you got beaten?" Tsunade sat on the sofa, glaring at a kneeling, chastised Jiraiya.
"…Yes," Jiraiya mumbled, thoroughly wronged. He recalled the terrifying, tiger-like ferocity with which Tsunade had chased out the "well-endowed" guests he'd invited.
"You are Liumu's teacher now! What were you thinking, bringing those kinds of people into your student's home?!" Tsunade's anger boiled over again. She lashed out with a foot, kicking him once more. "You're utterly unreliable!"
She glanced at Liumu, who was laughing and chatting with his classmates, then back at Jiraiya. "Why don't you just hand Liumu over to me?"
Jiraiya: "…???"
A realization dawned on him. Seeing the flicker in Tsunade's eyes, he understood her true motive.
"So that's it! You came to poach my student! Hitting me was just a bonus, wasn't it?!"
Faced with the accusation, Tsunade shrugged casually. "When we were in Kiri, I got used to having Liumu to hug at night. Now that I don't… it feels a bit uncomfortable. So…"
Jiraiya: "…?!?!"
"There was such a thing?! Why didn't I know about it?!"
Hearing that his disciple had such… intimate history with Tsunade, Jiraiya's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
The living are more infuriating than the dead! Could this kid really be so… precocious? To give him to Tsunade for a happy family life… that's a blessing even I have never tasted!
So unfair!
No!
Absolutely not!
NEVER!
Jiraiya sprang to his feet, his expression one of utter defiance. "No! Out of the question! Liumu is my disciple! I'm not handing him over to anyone!"
His stance was rock-solid, as if ready to die on this hill.
You want to leave me single while you cozy up to Tsunade? Over my dead body!
"Fine, fine! You think I'm desperate?" Tsunade snorted, though her gaze when it drifted back to Liumu was unmistakably hopeful.
Others might not know, but Tsunade was aware of what Jiraiya had been doing at Mount Myōboku. Legend said only the chosen could train there. For Jiraiya to return now meant he'd likely passed some trial. If Liumu stayed by his side, his future might be far brighter than following her.
Yet, recalling their conversation in the snow outside Kiri… Tsunade's hope only grew stronger.
The party lasted two or three hours. Since Rin and the others had school the next day, they couldn't stay too late. After bidding them farewell, Liumu, seeing how drunk Tsunade and Jiraiya were, helped a stumbling Tsunade to the spare room. As for Teacher Jiraiya…
"He's hardy. The sofa will do." Seeing Haku's worried look, Liumu reassured her.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Haku asked, feeling a little self-conscious under Liumu's intense stare.
It had been nearly two years since Liumu graduated. He'd lost touch with most of his Academy classmates. That Haku had managed to invite his old friends to celebrate showed a deep understanding of what he truly lacked now.
"Thank you," Liumu said, his gratitude formal and sincere.
Haku was taken aback for a moment, then responded with a gentle, understanding smile.
"Who on earth sent this?!"
That night, Liumu and Haku sat on the bed, unpacking the mountain of gifts from the party. There were shuriken, kunai—standard ninja fare. There were also soldier pills and chakra pills, which he had little use for. But when he opened a box to find a garish, skintight, full-body green spandex suit, his blood pressure spiked.
Guy hadn't even come to the party. Who sent this monstrosity?!
"Just throw it away. And who gives someone toilet paper as a gift?" Liumu was utterly baffled.
In his previous life, birthday gifts ranged from plush toys to USB drives, even brand-name accessories. But toilet paper? Never. Especially not for a seven-year-old who barely needed it. This was just adding insult to injury.
"People mean well," Haku soothed, placing the offending toilet paper roll aside.
"What's this?" Liumu's fingers brushed against something hard in a beautifully wrapped red box.
He pulled it out. It was a book, its cover still sealed. 'Intimate Paradise'…
Liumu: "…"
Making sure Haku wasn't looking, he hastily tore the seal and flipped through a few pages. He realized this was Jiraiya's latest literary masterpiece—a special edition he'd never seen before.
Pfft—! He stifled a laugh.
"Liumu, what are you looking at?" Haku asked, returning from moving a box to the bathroom. She saw him staring intently at the pages and leaned in to look.
Her eyes widened at the intricate, entangled poses of the two figures illustrated. "What kind of… gymnastics is this? It looks incredibly difficult. And… why aren't they wearing any clothes?"
Liumu: "…???"
What kind of question is that?! How am I supposed to explain this?!
"Ahem! This… this is a very advanced form of… physical training," Liumu began, his mind racing. "As for the lack of clothing…"
He thought furiously, grasping for an explanation.
"Oh! I've got it!" He nodded sagely. "The profundity of this 'training' lies in its details. The author likely omitted clothing to allow readers a more… intimate understanding of the forms. After all… clothing is but a barrier to human progress!"
"I see!" Haku nodded solemnly, a look of sudden enlightenment on her face. She reached out to take the book from Liumu's hands for a closer study.
Liumu yanked it back and jumped away as if scalded.
(End of Chapter)
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