Georgie, however, wasn't as chill about the situation as Mike. Eager to prove himself, he was still racking his brain for other solutions.
But by the time they made it back to their front door, Georgie still hadn't come up with a solid plan to help Sheldon out of this jam.
He let out a heavy sigh, stopped on the porch, and looked at Mike with a glimmer of hope. "Is there really no other way?"
"Sure there is," Mike grinned, his tone teasing. "She's just a six-year-old girl. If you want to stop her from bullying Sheldon, there's actually a really simple, practical fix."
"What is it? Come on, tell me." Georgie's interest was piqued.
"Give her a taste of her own medicine, of course," Mike chuckled. "Just catch her alone sometime and threaten her a little. Tell her to stay away from Sheldon, and boom—problem solved."
"That's not a bad idea," Georgie agreed, but then added, "Do you think I need any props to really scare her?"
Realizing Georgie was actually taking him seriously, Mike looked at him in disbelief. "You're seriously considering that? She's a six-year-old girl, dude. When the cops drag you away, just don't mention my name."
"Hey, I was just kidding, too," Georgie said, shaking his head. "Like I'd actually go bully a little kid."
As it turns out, even though Georgie's grades weren't great and his hygiene was questionable, he was genuinely a good guy at heart.
---
After clearing up the "misunderstanding," the two chatted on the porch for a moment longer before heading inside.
In the living room, the Cooper family was waiting for news. Even Sheldon had come out of his bedroom.
"Well? What did they say?" Mary asked immediately.
Georgie, having failed his mission, just shook his head silently.
Mike, on the other hand, recounted what had happened and shared his own take on the situation.
"You did the right thing. Maybe Shelly could use a little playmate," Meemaw said with a smile, giving her two cents.
"No, I do not want to be friends with her." A look of terror returned to Sheldon's face. He grabbed Mike's arm. "You have to help me."
In Sheldon's mind, Bobbi was already a nightmare. Becoming friends with her was statistically impossible.
"How do you want me to help?" Mike asked kindly.
"How about you teach me combat?" Sheldon thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up. "I've seen you play football. You send your opponents flying..."
Sheldon wasn't completely inflexible; when necessary, he wasn't opposed to using force. Especially when he had the perfect combat instructor standing right in front of him.
"Are you sure you want to use violence against a little girl?" Mike tried to reason with him again. "I think the probability of you beating her is lower than the probability of you guys becoming friends."
"No, probability theory cannot solve my problem. I will not befriend a demon..." Sheldon was adamant.
Sheldon's logic didn't convince Mike, but surprisingly, Mary was on board. With Mary's encouragement, Mike and Sheldon headed out to the yard.
---
"First, let's try a direct tackle..." Mike began teaching Sheldon the mechanics of tackling.
Speed... leverage... angles.
Sheldon, wrapped in bubble wrap once again, listened intently. However, putting theory into practice was a different story entirely.
Watching the heavily armored Sheldon awkwardly throw himself at him, only to bounce off and fall to the ground, Mike covered his eyes in exasperation.
"Okay, power tackling isn't for you." Mike switched tactics. "Next, let's try a technical takedown..."
Compared to a brute-force tackle, a takedown required less strength and was easier to master. Mike didn't need to turn Sheldon into a wrestling pro; he just needed to learn a simple move to handle a six-year-old girl and protect himself.
However, Sheldon's complete lack of athletic ability shocked Mike once again.
Looking at Sheldon, who was hugging his waist but dangling in the air, Mike advised, "First, your feet need to touch the ground to generate force. Second, when you lack strength, you can hook your leg behind your opponent's to trip them..."
"Correct..." Sheldon processed the data and tried to apply Mike's method.
But the moment he hooked his leg behind Mike and tried to push, he lost his own center of gravity and flopped onto the ground again.
"Pffft!"
Meemaw, who was watching the lesson from the sidelines, nearly sprayed her beer seeing Sheldon's clumsy attempt.
"Alright, you just started, this is normal..." Mike pulled Sheldon up, offering comfort with words even he didn't believe.
However, Sheldon realized he had zero athletic talent. And being his proud self, he didn't want to keep embarrassing himself. He declined Mike's offer for more training and retreated to his room alone.
---
The next day, to avoid Bobbi's harassment, Sheldon stuck to Georgie and Mike like glue on the way to and from school.
But his troubles were far from over.
When they got home, Sheldon stepped out alone to get the mail and ran right into Bobbi, who was waiting for him.
"Don't come any closer!" Sheldon cowered behind the mailbox, trembling. Then, remembering Mike's advice, he tentatively asked, "Bobbi, would you like to be friends? I can show you my model train collection..."
Bobbi clearly had a plan. She didn't say a word, just wore a creepy smile and stepped toward him slowly.
Sheldon was terrified and backed away until he hit the wall. Cornered, he struck a bizarre pose and yelled, "Stay back! I'm warning you, I will tackle you!"
Bobbi just smirked even more menacingly at Sheldon's bluff and didn't stop.
"You asked for this..." In a panic, Sheldon charged at the little girl in a weird stance.
But whether it was nerves or lack of skill, he only made it two steps before tripping over his own feet and face-planting.
Seeing Sheldon fall, Bobbi's expression changed, and she stepped forward to check on him.
But Sheldon, already traumatized, scrambled backward kicking his legs and screaming, "Help!"
"Sheldon, what's wrong?" Georgie ran out at the sound of the screaming and saw Sheldon on the ground, on the verge of tears.
"Bo... Bobbi... she came back..." Sheldon stammered in panic.
"Huh?" Georgie looked around but didn't see any sign of Bobbi.
"You're hurt," Georgie said, pointing at Sheldon's knee as he looked back down.
"Blood! I'm bleeding!" Sheldon screamed again.
"It's just a scrape..." Georgie checked the injury, then rolled his eyes and helped Sheldon back into the house.
After the two left, a small head popped up from the bushes nearby.