A window blinked into existence, and now crisp golden letters filled the air in front of my eyes.
[You must choose your class before you can continue.]
"Alright," I said. "Let's see what we got."
And surprise, surprise…
"Here lies the path of malediction and imprecation…"
[Class Available: Katarologa]
Shocker. Right at the top. The System clearly was rigged. Still, it did say I got to choose. Looking at what other options I was given probably wouldn't hurt.
Let's see contestant number two.
"Here lies the path of blood and sacrifice…"
[Class Available: Sangromancer]
Oh good it gets worse. Just what I always wanted: blood rituals and human sacrifice. Very subtle, System. Make the alternatives disgusting so I'd come crawling back to Katarologa.
"Here lies the path of poison and affliction…"
[Class Available: Venefica]
Right. And accidentally poison my own cat like cousin Atymē. No way, I like Phisto alive and well, thank you very much.
"Here lies the path of cauldron and concoction…"
[Class Available: Alechemene]
Didn't expect there to be this many options. Maybe someone up there was feeling generous. Potions weren't the worst thing—plenty of Alechemenes ended up rich. Still, hard to picture myself hunched over a cauldron, reeking of boiled... stuff.
"Here lies the path of pacts and dominion…"
[Class Available: Daimonarch]
Well, that was a surprise. Making deals with demons, binding them to your will… I'll admit, there was a certain appeal. Until, of course, the deal went sour and you woke up being dragged into the hells by your ankles. Tempting, but I'll pass on becoming demon chow.
"Here lies the path of fire and steel…"
[Class Available: Weaponsmith]
Nice try, Ambelios. Cheeky. Apparently everyone was trying to be clever today. Not too sure how happy Mēnē would be about this. While I did enjoy pistols, I couldn't see myself making them for someone else.
"Here lies the path that blends bullets and witchcraft…"
[Class Available: Gunwitch]
…Wait. What?
This one was worded differently. That couldn't be right. Gunwitch? Was that seriously a class?
I leaned closer, half expecting the letters to blur or vanish. But they stayed. Bullets and witchcraft. I looked around to see if someone was messing with me, but the oracles didn't seem to be in a joking mood.
Alright then, I thought. System, show me more.
[Class Information: Gunwitch]
Looking for a magic bullet to solve your problems? The Gunwitch has plenty.
Born from collaboration between Mēnē and Ambelios. Gunwitches practice the full breadth of witchcraft while wielding firearms, merging two traditions into one deadly path. Requires careful aim and resource management.
Type: Ranged damage dealer
Primary Attributes: Dexterity, Attunement
A bit sparse on the details, System. Unfortunately that was all I got, but at least it did give me a basic idea of what the class was about.
Gunwitch, technically it was a witch class. My mother would probably be thrilled… Alright, no, she'd hate it. But technically, technically, I could argue I'd kept to the tradition. A witch, just not her witch. The Sisters of Mēnē wouldn't be able to complain either… and boy did they love to complain.
The more I thought about it, the better it sounded. I already had a gun (clearly divine providence). This was obviously what the gods wanted me to choose. Hells, if I picked anything else, they'd probably strike me down for insubordination.
And honestly, who was I to question the gods? They hand me a six-shot pistol and a class that literally screams made for you, and I say no? That would just be rude.
Besides, think of the efficiency. Why waste time reciting incantations when you could just shoot someone in the face with a bullet spell? Practical. Time-saving. Very responsible of me, really. And if there was one thing I was known for, it was responsibility.
Yes. Choosing [Gunwitch] wasn't reckless rebellion at all. It was the mature, logical decision. Especially with the alternative being blown to bits by an angry god (or goddess).
So really, I wasn't choosing at all. I was just doing what I was told… under the very reasonable threat of death.
[Would you like to select Class: Gunwitch? Yes / No]
As if there was ever a choice. I picked 'yes' immediately, before the gods got offended that I dared hesitate on the class they'd personally demanded I take. Pausing to think felt like a good way to get smote, and this girl was not in the business of getting smoted.
[Class selected: Gunwitch]
[You have gained 10 stat points.]
[You have gained 1 skill point.]
[You have gained a passive skill.]
[Quickdraw]
Type: Passive
Speed doesn't kill. You do.
Drawing and firing weapons is faster. Also applies to spells. Effectiveness scales with user level.
Very practical. My father did always say: you shoot first, or you're dead. Apparently the System agreed. Wise words, old man.
And then there were also the ten shiny new stat points and one skill point. Normally, you'd ask around, get advice, maybe peek at what worked for other people. But there was the small problem that if I asked anyone, they'd realize I hadn't picked [Katarologa]. Which meant boom! Instant scandal. Quite the predicament.
The System did say Dexterity and Attunement were the primary stats for Gunwitch. Five and five seemed safe enough, balanced. Then again, maybe it wouldn't be balanced at all. Maybe I'd be shooting myself in the foot (pun intended), and ruining my build.
I considered it a little longer. Perry was a smart guy, I could talk this through with him. We'd could bounce ideas off each other and hopefully come up with some ridiculously broken combination of skills and stats. He was also the only person I'd trust not to tell anyone what class I'd chosen.
Yeah. Better to hold on to the points and wait. Perry and I would break the System together.
I willed the System interface to close, and the golden letters faded from the air. I'd picked my class. What now? I turned to the oracles. "So… is that it?"
One of them inhaled more of that thick vapor, and when she exhaled, her voice wasn't entirely her own.
"The stone you cast will not fall quiet. The ripples will carry beyond shores unknown."
Right… that didn't sound like she was congratulating me on a class well chosen. It sounded a bit ominous, actually. Then again, vague and ominous was kind of their thing.
I gave it a moment, expecting more, but all I got was silence and stares. Fine. Apparently it was up to me to stop this from turning into a staring contest. "…Cool. Not exactly helpful. Do I just… leave, or is there paperwork?"
They kept staring long enough that I started to feel a little uncomfortable. I half-turned toward the door and pointed. "Yes…?"
"Yes," one of them finally said.
For crying out loud. Being vague really was like a sport to these women.
"So… yes leave, or yes paperwork?" I asked.
After some more staring she said. "Yes… leave."
"Got it."
I hurried out of there before they started spouting more cryptic prophesies. All those vapors couldn't be good for the brain. An attendant steered me into the main area of the amphitheater where people were cheering like I'd done something impressive instead of just sitting in a smoky room and selecting "yes."
I scanned the crowd for my parents or Perry, but the place was packed. Just faces on faces yelling and screaming. I couldn't pick them out at all, so I smiled and gave a little wave anyway, like I'd spotted them. Hopefully they bought it.
Then it hit me—what if they weren't even in that section? So I threw in a couple more waves in different directions, just to be safe. Great idea, right? Except now I looked like I was basking in the glory of the entire amphitheater, waving like I thought everyone was there for me personally. Now I felt like an idiot for waving at all.
Archon Menekrates himself plopped a laurel crown on my head and it immediately slid down over my eyes. Clearly this one had been made for someone with a head the size of a melon. I tried to push it back up, but it stubbornly slid back down again. Fine, be like that. I resolved to just hold it in place with one hand. Better than being blind. At least Perry would've been amused to witness my vicious defeat at the hands of a laurel wreath.
Menekrates put his hand on my shoulder and said something I couldn't hear over the noise.
"What?" I shouted back.
He repeated himself (I think), but I still couldn't hear what he was saying, so I just smiled and went, "Ha ha, yes."
His face scrunched immediately, a mixture of confusion and irritation. Apparently "Ha ha, yes" was not the correct response.
"No?" I asked, thinking maybe that was the answer.
Apparently not, because he grabbed my arm and shoved me along. Guess that was it for the ceremony.
Which meant the next thing waiting for me outside was my parents… and Perry. They'd all want to know what I'd chosen.
Should I explain it was totally the gods who made me do it? Or just lie and say I picked [Katarologa]? How long could I even keep that up? Would my mother kill me if she found out? Surely she wouldn't… would she?
As I walked to the exit I prayed I'd come up with a plan before they found me.