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Chapter 161 - Chapter 161: mortal Joys

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"So, if I don't pay you a salary, it doesn't count as working for me, right?"

Homelander smiled upon hearing this.

"Huh? In your dreams, Mr. Star-Spangled Banner."

Tony spread his hands exaggeratedly, nearly knocking over the iced coffee in front of him. "Me, Tony Stark, working for Vought as free labor? My time is billed by the second. Even if it's for charity, I'd still need naming rights."

"You can certainly refuse."

Homelander shrugged, picking up the tablet on the table and opening the PR assessment report regarding the 'Avengers Out of Control Incident.'

"However, given your 'outstanding performance' over the past forty-eight hours—including but not limited to attempting to turn Manhattan into ruins with a massive barrage of missiles and Rockets, and illegally feeding the Hulk unauthorized drugs—the Federal Government and the Security Council are taking a very tough stance right now."

Homelander swiped his phone, projecting a document onto the wall.

"They are demanding a mandatory psychiatric and psychological evaluation for you. The process takes at least three months."

"Three months?" Tony raised an eyebrow, eyes wide. "Sorry, I don't have time. I'm going to a yacht party in Saint-Tropez..."

"You're not going anywhere, Tony." Homelander interrupted him, his tone flat but brook no argument. "You need to give the public an explanation. Prove that your brain is completely free from that Asgardian enchantress's control, and prove that you won't suddenly fire your Repulsors at innocent bystanders on the street."

"And..." Homelander paused, his eyes flickering. "You can't stay here and eat for free."

"So?" Tony narrowed his eyes warily.

"So, you have to work." Homelander spread his hands. "You need to provide technical support for Vought. Across the board."

"Of course, for free," he added.

"This is blackmail." Tony glared and curled his lip. "Stark never accepts blackmail."

"I'm giving you a way out." Homelander stood up, walked over to Tony, and patted him on the shoulder. "And sometimes, I really envy your luck, Tony."

"Envy me?" Tony snorted.

"Yeah." Homelander looked out the window, his tone becoming somewhat sentimental. "You have Pepper Potts. While you were going crazy turning the tower into a harem, that woman was still behind the scenes, keeping Stark Industries in order and dealing with board members who wanted to eat you alive."

"Without her, you'd probably be bankrupt by now." Homelander looked down at Tony. "Be better to her, man. A woman like that, once lost, can't be found again."

Tony's expression froze.

An emotion called guilt flooded over his arrogance.

"...Fine."

Tony sighed softly, his voice much lower.

"But I have one condition. My lab equipment must be moved here. Also, I don't drink instant coffee."

"Deal." Homelander snapped his fingers... Meanwhile, in another corner of the conference room.

Thor had stood by the window at some point, oblivious to what was happening here.

"So, are you going back to Asgard, Your Highness?" Homelander asked, raising his voice.

"But you've now been designated an 'unwelcome alien' by the United Nations. Next time you come to Earth, you'll have to apply for a visa with Vought first."

"No."

Thor turned around. The arrogance of the past was gone from his eyes, replaced by a hint of humility.

"I'm not leaving. I lost mjolnir, and I almost lost Jane."

He clenched his fists, his eyes burning.

"That enchantress may have controlled me, but she also made me see my own heart. I can't be without Jane."

"I'm staying." Thor looked at Homelander. "By Jane's side."

"As a bodyguard? Or serving tea and handing over wrenches?" Tony couldn't help but interject mockingly. "Right now, you don't even have a hammer."

"Yes, I can be her assistant." Thor ignored Tony's mockery and spoke seriously. "Just like we used to be. Helping her with equipment, driving for her, doing anything for her... In short, I want to win back her heart."

"Good spirit, Thor." Homelander nodded. "I believe Jane will feel your sincerity. But remember, the things in the lab are expensive. Don't mess them up."

"I'll have HR process your onboarding as an intern."

"Thank you." Thor nodded solemnly... Finally, there was Clint Barton, slumped over the table.

This Level 7 S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent looked like an ordinary middle-aged man who had just gone through a midlife crisis.

"And you, Agent Barton?" Homelander asked. "Vought's shooting instructor position is still vacant."

"No, no thanks."

Barton shook his head, a weary smile forced onto his face.

"I think... I want to take a long vacation. Or just retire."

He pulled his phone from his pocket and rubbed the lock screen photo.

"Laura... she's still at home waiting for me. Even though I was controlled during this incident, I really... I feel like I've made a mess of my life."

"I want to go back and fix the farm fence, practice archery with Lila, and check Cooper's math homework."

Homelander looked at Barton.

In his mind, this mortal Agent who could only shoot arrows wasn't worth much. No superpowers, no Super Soldier Serum—aside from being a bit of a crack shot, he really couldn't keep up with the meta in this era of flying superhumans.

Since he wanted to leave, Homelander naturally wouldn't force him to stay.

"I understand."

Homelander nodded, appearing reasonable.

"Family always comes first; that's Vought's most important corporate culture."

"And the evaluation?..." Barton asked somewhat worriedly.

"The evaluation..." Homelander waved his hand. "The damage you caused in this incident was very limited. After all, everyone was busy watching Iron Man, Thor, and Hulk; not many people noticed you firing arrows from the sidelines."

Barton's lip twitched; that didn't sound like comfort.

"Public memory is short," Homelander continued. "Your evaluation will just be a formality, maybe a week. After a week, you can go back to your farm."

Homelander walked over to Barton and patted him on the shoulder.

"Go home and spend time with your family. By the way, I heard the tractor on your farm is broken?"

Barton was stunned. "Eh? Yes... it is. How did you know?"

"I heard it from Natasha." Homelander gave a mysterious smile. "As a parting gift, I'll send you two of the latest John Deere tractors, the ones with air conditioning. Thank you for your contribution to the World."

"Really?" Barton's eyes lit up instantly. "Gosh, thanks! Now Laura won't complain about me being idle all day anymore!"

Seeing Barton's heartfelt joy, Homelander laughed inwardly.

The happiness of mortals is often just that simple and unadorned.

"Harvested special popularity value + 10,000 (from Clint Barton)"

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