"I think it'd be fun to get a look at how the humans view us!"
His pale cheeks curved with a wide grin, a white-haired vampire sat on the carpeted floor of his dorm room.
"That's true. I've always wondered how the humans view werewolves like me," a brown-haired jock said, puffing his chest out. The dog-ears on the top of his head perked up, his fluffy tail wagging uncontrollably.
"...Unlike you two, I've actually watched this damn movie before. It's awful, of course the Wendigo likes it!"
Four people sat in the gothic dorms, looking up at a TV. The aforementioned Wendigo, Wendy Indigo, shook her head with a loud "Nuh uh!" Her skull mask unable to suppress her smile, she jabbed her pointer finger at the Revenant. With a shrill, scratchy voice, she added:
"You only dislike it because you haven't seen the rest of the movies! They're super good! A zombie wouldn't understand!"
An immortal being groaned in frustration, palming his face as his monochromatic hair draped over his fingers. "For the love of… ugh, you are such a moron. I don't need to watch the rest of the movies to know that they're garbage. The first one was annoying and blue, why would I watch the rest?"
Mark and Harry looked at each other. They were the ones in the center of the quad-watch-party, an idea suggested by Mark, considering the subjects of the Twilight films were a vampire and a werewolf. This had the added boon of separating Rev and Wendy, which would hopefully prevent arguments…
…But it wasn't working, it seemed.
"Umm, can we just start the movie? Girls can't stay in the boy's dorms past a certain curfew, and it's already getting a bit late…" Mark said, to which Rev turned his head away, keeping his arms crossed.
"Fine, just start the damn movie. I'm only watching it because I want to point out every single dumb, idiotic thing about it, and prove that Wendy's taste in media is, objectively, moronic."
"As if! And I'll show you why it's the best movie ever made!"
"Hk, you…!"
Masterfully inciting raw ire in the heart of the Revenant, the Wendigo laughed and pressed play. The small, flat TV that Kade provided for their dorms started the movie.
***
"...I'd never given much thought to how I would die," declared the opening line of the movie. Rev kept his arms crossed, furrowing his brows as the music began to set in.
"Well, I have," he remarked in an indifferent tone.
"SHHH! Quit talking!"
"...Gh, you shut up, Wendy."
"You're ruining the movie! Just stay quiet and stuff your face with popcorn, loser!"
"And you stuff your face with human flesh, you pathetic excuse for a deer!"
"Guys, c'mon! I need to take notes—this is supposedly a really good love story! I want to see how a vampire's supposed to flirt!" Mark said, interrupting their argument. To which, Harry Wolf turned towards the vampire, a concerned expression on his face.
"Are they always like this?"
"Yeah…"
***
"Oh wow… uh, they made the vampire kind of creepy, didn't they?" Mark asked, looking at a handsome pale face. Edward stared at Bella very… well, creepily, to say the least. It gave Rev the impression of someone constipated and trying to stare at someone to hide it, but failing miserably.
"Yeah, makes sense! Vampires are basically zombies, and we all know how stupid zombies are!" Wendy said, popping a human eyeball like popcorn. Mark looked at her, a bit hurt.
"...I'm not sure how to take that."
"Hmph. Don't pay her any mind. She's an idiot."
"I don't think so," Harry said, leaning back and using his arms to prop himself up. "She has great taste if she's rooting for the Werewolf! Werewolves on top!"
Rev's gazed lowered, his eyes closing as he shook his head. "This place is insufferable, and I can't even escape by going to my dorm…"
Then, looking up at the TV, he saw the movie. In the scene, Edward and Bella were in a biology class. And, in the background, the skull of a deer could be seen, propped up next to the marker board.
"Hah, look Wendy, they have your decapitated head hanging on their walls! I don't see them having mine up there."
"Shut up! It just goes to show that we're more oppressed than zombies like you!"
"Tch, I don't see Wendigos being mowed down in hordes like zombies are… wait, I'm not a zombie! TAKE THAT BACK!"
***
"Wait, they have superpowers?" Mark asked. "Woah, that's cool! The hot girl can see the future? Man, that would be useful! I'd love to have that power! It'd make those games we play a lot easier, huh?"
"Gah, don't cheat! You're the one who's always winning anyways, vampire!" Rev shouted. "Whenever it comes down to luck, you're the winner!"
"Hahaha… wait, what if I already have precognition? Maybe Sera lended me some of her Divine Sight?"
"...Huh. Maybe. Gah, that Angel! If she wants to be my Guardian Angel so damn badly, why can't she lend it to me instead!?"
Harry Wolf groaned, rolling his eyes as they saw more and more of the vampiric family. "When's the Werewolf going to show up? It's so annoying!"
"Huh? You already met him! It was Jacob! The one who said 'Bella, where the hell have you been, loca!' And he's better because he isn't a stupid undead!"
"The dude with long hair? Pfft. Long hair's for nerds."
***
"Look at how stupid it is! Why the hell would a bunch of vampires play baseball!? It's so dumb!" Rev shouted, leaning forward with his hands fully outstretched, gesturing to the TV.
"Huh?" Mark asked, tilting his head. "But I love playing baseball! It's so fun!"
Rev went silent, causing Wendy to cackle at him. He clenched his fists, looking away with a haughty scoff.
"Haha! Loser!"
"SHUT UP! THE EFFECTS ARE STILL TERRIBLE, VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE, BELLA HAS NO PERSONALITY OTHER THAN BEING AN IDIOTIC, HOLLOW HUSK OF A LOVE INTEREST, AND WORST OF ALL… IT'S SO BLUE, FOR NO REASON! WHY CAN'T BELLA KEEP HER MOUTH CLOSED, IS SHE A MOUTHBREATHER OR SOMETHING!?"
The sound of a creaking door appearing behind the watch-party, a hurt Bella Donna looked at the emo Revenant.
"...No? I don't mouthbreathe, what are you talking about?"
Turning around, Rev clenched his jaw, keeping his fists balled up. "...NOT. YOU!"
His head sharply turned towards the TV, looking at the enemy vampires marching on screen.
"THIS! TWILIGHT! THIS STUPID, DUMB, HORRIBLE MOVIE THAT THE WENDIGO SEEMS TO LOVE! IT'S TERRIBLE!"
"...Well, I actually think it's kinda good?" Mark interjected. "I mean, it's not fully accurate, but it's cool to see vampires be liked by humans. I think Edward's a pretty interesting character, I mean—
Rev shook his head. "...I didn't ask, Mark."
"Oh. Sorry."
Rev got to his feet, standing up and shaking his head. "Whatever. Bella, what are you even doing here? It's the boy's dorms."
"Well, Sera said that you guys were watching some movie or something, so I just wanted to… you know. Join, maybe?"
"Hah. Don't bother. This movie is terrible from start to finish, there's no point."
The eyes of the Witch gazed upon the TV, finding—
"Oh! Twilight? I love that movie!"
Rev imploded.
***
"See? The movie was awesome! Now we have to watch the other four!"
"Mhm! The next ones should be a lot of fun!"
"Especially if they have more Werewolves, because this one didn't have any!"
"There's definitely more of that in the sequel! But my personal favorite is Eclipse! So we only have to get through one more before we get to my favorite!"
Sitting in his own dormroom, yet feeling completely bombarded by the sheer stupidity of everyone around him, Rev Vennett… was silent.
"...Each and every last one of you is a moron."
Getting to his feet, Rev left the dormroom, choosing to just wander around the halls of this loathsome academy.
"No we're not! Maybe it's you who has terrible taste!?" Wendy shouted, causing Rev to stand in the hallway. Going silent for a bit, he closed his eyes.
"...A sane man is deemed insane by an insane society, a sane man is deemed as insane by an insane society, a sane man is deemed as insane by an insane society…"
Trying to calm himself, only for each word he spoke to add even more anger, he wound his head back and smashed it against the wall. A loud thud rang through the halls, and blue blood spilled down his forehead.
His head patched itself back together, as Wendy ran out from the dorm, looking at him with a wide grin. Pointing her finger at him, she burst into laughter.
"Hahaha! If you wanted to bash your head open, you should've just asked! I would've gladly done it for you!"
Holy cortisol spike.
Lunging forward, Rev kicked off of the ground. Soaring several feet into the air, keeping his fist clenched, he rammed his fist deep into Wendy's nose.
"MOVEEEE!!!"
Her body pummeled the ground, bouncing off before she twisted her body mid-air, landing on her feet. Viscous blood dripped from her nose onto the carpeted floor, her scratchy voice resounding in the air:
"Ow! That's it—I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR GOOD THIS TIME, ZOMBIE BOY!"
Forming a pole from bone, she kicked off the ground, blitzing forward. Summoned from his Codex, a blue necrotic energy zipped in the air, striking the wendigo and sending her back. She dug her feet into the ground, sliding across as she pulled her arm back.
Hurling the sharpened bone into the air like a javelin, Wendy pierced Rev's chest, impaling it through and staining his untucked undershirt blue from his blood.
He grit his teeth, watching as the Wendigo barreled towards him. Stopping just short of him, she reeled her arm back,
"I'LL RUIN YOUR UGLY MUG EVEN MORE!" She roared, taking a light squat and exploding off the ground with what seemed to be an overhand right. Rev blocked his face with both his arms, mitigating the—
BAM!
Her fist flattening his solar plexus, the force generated through her entire body drove through her fist. The Revenant was blown off of his feet, treated as little more than a baseball as his launch went undisturbed down the hallway. Landing on the ground, dragged across the floor by inertia, Rev's momentum dissipated before he regained control over his body.
Slowly climbing to his feet, gritting his teeth as he painfully tore the bone-spear from his chest, he slammed the construct to the ground in anger.
"LIAR! YOU SAID IT WOULD BE A BLOW TO MY FACE!"
"HA! YOUR FAULT FOR BELIEVING ME!NOT SO TOUGH WITHOUT THE PRINCIPAL OR YOUR LITTLE GUARDIAN DOGGY TO COME SAVE YOU!"
"I DON'T NEED THEIR HELP!!"
The two sprinted down the halls, their feet bouncing off with explosive movement before they came to a screeching collision—
Forming yet another spear of bone, she exploded her arms, forcibly skewering the Revenant's skull. His left eye and the areas of his brain behind it suddenly torn apart from the spear, Rev's blue blood stained the hair on his scalp, pouring out from his head.
His trembling hands grasping the spear, Rev did not break eye contact. His one remaining eye did not close, nor did it wander—instead, it focused its entirety upon the Wendigo.
A slight fear nestled in her heart.
The squelching of his mutilated skull got louder, the Revenant tearing the spear from his head. His head fell forwards, an outpour of thick, viscous blood drowning the fibers of the carpet.
—And, ignoring the damage done to his body, Rev closed the distance with an explosive leap, grabbing her by both neck and hair before winding his head back. And, bashing his skull against her own, he caused the mask on her face to crack down the middle, her bloody nose leaking more and more.
A vicious smile curving across her cheeks, the Wendigo burst into a crazed laugh.
"AGH! YOU… I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE IMMORTAL—I'LL KILL YOU ANYWAYS!"
Winding his head back for another headbutt, he was met with an uppercut to the jaw, followed by Wendy sweeping her leg behind his own, falling forward. The two fell together, Rev Vennett's bloody scalp splattering on the ground.
She climbed on top of him, pressing her entire weight on his waist. The Revenant's remaining eye gazed into the black abyss resting behind her mask, only her small yellow pellets gazing in response, meeting him fully.
The Wendigo grabbed his wrist, pinning it to the ground. Forming a stake of bones, she drove it through his palm, nailing him to the ground and immobilizing his right arm.
"KYAHAHA! I WONDER, I WONDER—I WONDER… WILL YOU DIE IF I DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH YOUR HEART, ZOMBIE BOY!?"
"GRAHH… NOT TO YOU… NOT TO YOU!"
Reaching out with his left hand, he wrapped his long, bony fingers across her slender neck. Squeezing intently, trying to crush her throat, drown her out from life, snuff her from this world, he struggled with a burning, boiling hatred inside of his heart.
Her throat compressed, she couldn't breathe. Struggling to breathe, gasping for air, yet smiling as the blood flowed down from her nose and onto his collar, staining it red with drops of her own viscera.
And, forming a stake, ready to finally, finally put an end to the zombie's defiance existence,
"DIE!"
Driving the stake through his heart, she saw him squirm beneath her. Writhing in pain like little more than a dying bug, Rev gnashed his teeth in rebellion against the death she vehemently imposed upon him.
…And then, her head slowly drifted down. Her thick, raven-black hair shifted, affected by gravity. Lowering her head until her hair touched the carpeted ground, the Wendigo was just inches away from his face.
Lost in an intoxicating intimacy, so close that she could feel his cold, everlasting breath against the curvature of her lips…
"I… I…" she stammered, wincing as though in pain. Her hitched breath lingered, strangled by the grip he held on both her neck and her heart.
"I lov you rev"
okay I love you 2"
The end!!1!!!!1!