I never believed that a smile could hurt after it disappears.
But hers did.
I still remember the first day I saw Anaya.
She was standing near the classroom window, sunlight falling on her face like it belonged there. She wasn't trying to impress anyone. She wasn't loud. She was just… real.
And somehow, that made my heart feel uncomfortable.
I am nothing special as others . Just Quiet. Invisible. The kind of person teachers forget and classmates don't notice. I preferred sitting alone, writing random thoughts in my notebook, pretending I didn't care about the noise around me... Just like lost soul
But that day, everything changed.
She turned around, looked at me, and smiled.
Not a big smile.
Not a forced one.
Just a small, gentle smile — like she was saying, I see you.
I looked away immediately... I was very nervous because this type feel are frist time in me
I didn't think that this would become my biggest mistake — always looking away when it mattered.
Days passed. Weeks followed.
Somehow, Anaya started sitting near me. Sometimes she asked for notes. Sometimes she just stayed silent beside me, drawing small shapes in the corner of her book.
Our conversations were simple.
"Did you understand today's class?"
"Not really."
"Same."
And then we start laughing softly, like we were best friends. sharing a secrets the world didn't deserve to hear.
I started waiting for her without realizing it.
Waiting to hear her voice.
Waiting to see her smile.
Waiting to feel less alone.
One evening, while walking home, she suddenly stopped. Without turning face to me .. she asked
"Do you believe people can stay forever?"
I didn't understand the question. I don't know what to say..
So I answered honestly.
"If they want to… maybe."
She trun around to face me
She smiled again, but this time her eyes looked sad.
"Sometimes wanting isn't enough," she said quietly.
That night, I couldn't sleep.
Something about her words felt heavy — like a warning I wasn't ready to understand.
A few days later, Anaya didn't come to class.
Then one day became to a week.
No messages.
No calls.
No explanation.
I asked her friends, but they avoided my eyes.
Teachers said nothing.
And suddenly, the seat beside me felt painfully empty.
When she finally returned, she looked different.
Her smile was still there…
But it felt borrowed. Temporary.
As she comes near me, she whispered something so softly that only I could hear it.
"Don't get too close to me."
She keeps distance between us . And
That was the moment I realized something terrible.
I was already too close....
I take a gap and take one step back
And I didn't know what but —
that her name will hurt me one day more than her absence.
It will continue. .... .... ...
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