Shizuo hadn't known what it was like to have her foot half-buried in mud since she left... What was the name of the village again? Well, her village in the countryside, back when she left as a teenager to study in Tokyo.
She didn't miss it in the slightest.
Seven days had passed since she had awakened in Livia Roseheart's body.
Her memories as Livia were still there, accessible to her.
Not that she needed them.
She had already beaten PsychoLove more times than she could count, and was one of the hundred and three players to have ever unlocked the secret ending.
The only one where the heroine managed to not only survive, but save her personal maid, Abigail.
She turned discreetly and looked at the maid standing beside her.
She was simply so cute!
Abigail turned, feeling her mistress's gaze.
— Do you need anything, my lady?
The delivery of the line without emotion, the expressionless eyes on that doll-like face... The silver hair!
Abi really was the perfect Kuudere!
— No, thank you. — Abigail had already helped even without knowing it. The angelic sight of her tilting her head like a puppy trying to understand its owner was enough to recharge her energy.
Now she could face the rain and the mud...
And she could face him, the final boss.
She just needed to wait.
It didn't take long. She positioned herself strategically. She knew where he would arrive from.
North gate of the cemetery.
That's why she and Abigail positioned themselves on the west side, between Lady Geraldina and Lord Gascoine.
She had seen Evelyn talk to the Butler and the Deacon before sending the former in search of the shadow duke.
By her calculations, he would arrive... Now.
Bingo!
The gate creaked, and she watched from her hiding spot when he positioned himself beside his sister.
She closed her eyes under the black veil covering them and recited the scene's dialogue in her head.
She soon adapted the cadence of real life to the dialogues she knew by heart.
The ceremony proceeded and finally ended. It was time to let Livia's memories surface.
Cute protagonist mode, activate!
— Miss Livia...
— Abi...
It wasn't just Shizuo's fangirl side that adored those expressionless gray eyes.
Abigail had been Livia's personal maid since she was introduced to society in her early teens.
In the terrible years at the academy, where bullying was constant, in the last year when her father's sudden illness began to manifest and advance inexorably.
Abigail was there. Serving. Present. In silence.
— Your turn is coming, my lady. The new duke awaits you.
Shizuo took a deep breath and let Livia's fear emerge. She swallowed hard and spoke, in her best fragile voice:
— I don't know if I can...
Livia had a genuine terror of the shadow duke.
And with reason.
At this point in the story, he is just an arrogant and controlling noble.
The problem would start from here.
That's why her actions were calculated. She stayed hidden from his view, because if he saw her before the start of the ceremony, he would have come to her, and her affection counter would go up.
"If he likes me too much now, the rate of random encounters on days 1 and 2 would double... That's at least two more affection levels that would leave him increasingly unstable."
Her thoughts were interrupted by Abigail speaking.
— Keep your back straight, breathe.
Livia sighed and advanced. She smelled dead flowers mixing with the smell of mud and the nobles' perfumes.
Stopped in front of the Duke. His intimidating presence...
Her shoes sank into the soaked grass as she walked toward the two imposing figures standing beside the freshly filled grave.
Lady Evelyn Vane. A statue of playful sarcasm and disdain. And him.
Lucian Vane.
She stopped before him. The Duke's presence was physically heavy. He radiated an aura of arrogance so dense it seemed to suck the oxygen from the surroundings. Livia's instincts screamed danger. Shizuo's instincts screamed that she was facing the "Final Boss" of an impossible game.
With trembling hands, she brought her fingers to the edge of the veil.
Courage. Do as Abigail said. Breathe.
She lifted the fabric. Raised her face.
And then, she saw him.
The skin pale as marble. The sharp cheekbones. The eyes... those crimson eyes that seemed to shine with their own malignant light.
The moment their gazes met, the world wavered.
It wasn't pain. It was sudden vertigo. A high-pitched ringing in the back of the mind, like television static.
For a second, his image seemed... duplicated. Superimposed on something she couldn't identify. A silhouette of a tired man, with deep dark circles, wearing a beige coat on a gray day.
Her heart raced. What was that?
Lucian recoiled as if burned.
His eyes, previously cold and bored, widened in pure terror. He brought his hands to his head, the mask of nobility cracking into pieces of raw panic.
— What are you...? — he growled, voice hoarse, trembling.
He was looking at her. Not with desire, nor with disdain. But with anger. Then Pain.
Livia took a step back, frightened. The shadow duke shouldn't act in that erratic manner.
— Brother, what happened? — Evelyn intervened, but Lucian didn't answer.
He spun and left. Duke Vane, the shadow duke, fled his own father's funeral, almost running through the mud like a possessed man.
She stood in the rain, blinking, confusion clouding her mind as much as the static.
— Hmm — Evelyn's voice tried to sound relaxed, breaking the tension. — It seems my dear brother isn't feeling very well. Forgive the bad impression he caused, sister-in-law.
Evelyn waved and turned hurriedly, talking to servants, giving containment orders.
She felt a firm hand on her shoulder. It was Abigail. The touch gave her support, preventing her from collapsing right there.
— Let's go, my lady — whispered Abigail, her monotone voice being the only anchor in the storm. — There is nothing else to see here.
She was guided back to the carriage like a rag doll. The way back to the mansion was a silent blur. She felt feverish. That image... that silhouette superimposed on Lucian... why did it seem so important?
They arrived at the West Wing. Abigail opened the bedroom door and turned to her mistress.
— Do you wish for anything, miss? Tea for the nerves?
— No... — the voice came out distant. — Just... I want to be alone. Thank you, Abigail.
The maid nodded, closed the door silently, and left her in the gloom.
The silence of the room should have been comforting, but it seemed charged. The static in her mind was increasing. The buzzing turned into a roar.
She walked stumbling to the dressing table. Leaned her hands on the cold wood and looked at the mirror.
Livia's face stared back. Black skin, blue eyes, frightened. She was no longer sure of anything. Since her reincarnation, Shizuo had never felt such disorientation.
But then... Lucian's image returned to her mind. Those red eyes.
A phrase appeared in her thought.
Blood rubies...
It wasn't a memory from life as Livia.
She searched her memory, but didn't recall ever writing something like that in her life as Shizuo.
The personification of obsession that will lock the heroine in the golden cage.
The phrase had been written in Times New Roman font, size 12, in a text document.
The pain came all at once.
It wasn't a warning. It was an avalanche.
She screamed, falling to her knees on the rug, clutching her head while the dam broke.
The taste of bitter coffee. The smell of lavender from the car. The mechanical keyboard. The deadlines. The annoying editor yelling on the phone. The bubblegum pink dress. The pickup truck.
...
...
— Ah... — The sound came out of my throat, but the tone was different.
The trembling stopped. The confusion dissipated.
I got up slowly, wiping the dirt from the dress with a brusque gesture. I looked at the mirror again.
I knew that face. I drew it. I described every curl of this rebellious hair.
— What the hell is this... — I whispered.
I looked around. That setting... I ran to the door and observed it.
Without a doubt, it was the setting I asked my assistant Fujita to redraw at least twice.
— Damn, damn...
A wave of images passed through my head. Shizuo. I remembered my old job, but I wasn't a mangaka, I was an accountant.
"No."
"Yes."
"Livia? Is it you?" — Asked the other voice in my head, owner of those memories.
I didn't answer. All of that was strange. I was in the world I created, and shared the body with my heroine of incomplete memories.
I should have listened to him, should have made a more complete story for her...
I looked at the window, in the direction of the Duke's quarters. An incredulous and nervous smile formed on my lips. I could only have gone crazy.
The Headlights. The crash. Did I die?
Yes... The memory of the pain was too vivid to leave doubts.
— Lucian... he fled. My supreme villain had a... panic attack?! No, nonsense. Something else must have happened.
What am I saying? What is happening? Who are you in my head? Livia?
Quiet. We are Livia.
No, that's not right, I need to open the status screen...
Shut up, let me think, for the love of God! I need to understand what the hell happened to my script!