Dumbledore's Vacation – And Keith's "Forgot Something?" Gift
Dumbledore, suitcase in hand, Hawaiian shirt under his robe, and Fawkes perched on his shoulder, was moments away from stepping out of Hogwarts for his well-earned three-day mental recovery.
He paused at the door of his office.
Dumbledore:
"…Surely nothing else can possibly—"
POP.
A soft glow flashed on his desk.
The Philosopher's Stone materialized neatly on top of a stack of papers…
with a letter.
Dumbledore's eye twitched.
He opened it.
✉️ Keith's Letter
"Professor,
You forgot your little red rock.
Yes, that one.
The one the Troll Trio almost died over.
Please store it somewhere they can't find it again.
Maybe underground.
In a volcano.
On Pluto.
— Keith"
Dumbledore closed the letter very slowly.
Then he placed the stone inside a drawer with the gentleness of a man handling nitroglycerin…
locked it
and walked out of the school without a word.
Dumbledore:
"Fawkes… if anyone asks,
I have resigned."
Fawkes trilled sympathetically.
The door slammed behind them.
🏥 Hospital Wing — The Trio Awake
Madam Pomfrey had barely left when Ron burst awake with a heroic gasp.
Ron:
"We did it! We defeated the dark wizard!"
Neville sat up too.
Neville:
"I—I think I kicked him? Maybe? I don't remember."
Seamus grinned proudly.
Seamus:
"Pretty sure I blew him up!"
(Pomfrey in the background: "YOU DID NO SUCH THING.")
But the trio were unstoppable.
Ron:
"Snape'll be so jealous I saved Hogwarts!"
Neville:
"Ron, you fainted after tripping on your own wand…"
Seamus:
"But we still won!"
Ron puffed out his chest.
Ron:
"True heroes always pass out dramatically."
Pomfrey nearly threw her potions tray.
⚡ Hogwarts Reacts to the Claims
Students gathered quickly.
Rumors spread faster than a Weasley prank.
Within an hour:
Hufflepuffs were confused. Ravenclaws were offended. Slytherins were choking laughing. Gryffindors were… reluctantly supportive.
Draco Malfoy led the mockery parade.
Draco:
"Behold!
Ron the Vanquisher!
Ron the Redeemer!
Ron Who Defeated the Dark Lord by Falling on His Face!"
The hall exploded with laughter.
Ron didn't even get it.
Ron:
"See? Even Malfoy acknowledges my greatness!"
Hermione facepalmed so hard it echoed.
🧪 Snape Losing the Will to Teach
Snape had been informed by Madam Pomfrey earlier that morning.
He entered the staff room like a defeated war veteran.
He slumped into a chair, staring blankly at the table.
McGonagall cautiously approached.
McGonagall:
"Severus? Are you… alright?"
Snape whispered like a broken man:
Snape:
"They think…
They think they defeated a dark wizard."
Flitwick tried to lift his spirits.
Flitwick:
"Oh come now, Severus—"
Snape:
"Ron said I was probably jealous."
Flitwick choked on his tea.
Snape:
"And Seamus said he blew up the dark wizard.
And Neville claims he 'might have kicked him'."
Snape put his face in his hands.
Snape:
"Minerva…
I cannot survive another year of this."
McGonagall sighed deeply.
McGonagall:
"You're not alone.
I also… question my life choices."
Flitwick nodded with a thousand-yard stare.
Flitwick:
"Perhaps we should create a formal support group."
Snape raised a hand weakly.
Snape:
"I volunteer as the first patient."