(mentioning if suicide/ death)
*Crack*
That horrible sound - there it is again.
*Wham*
*Boom*
*Crack*
And another one. That was the fourth? Fifth? I don't know anymore, but it was another bone.
Was ist the jaw this time? Or the nose again?
Well there is no point in figuring out.
I already stopped screaming.
It is so silent. So peacefull - but then again:
*Bamm*
*Boom*
I don't really feel it anymore.
Now the last thing I am wondering is why?
I started my day as always everything was normal. Well that's just my luck. Why couldn't they at least try to rob me before work and not after I already wasted another day at the job.
Well the only good thing is that I don't leave anyone behind at least at my end I won't be a burden to anyone else.
*Wee woo wee woo*
Ah they stopped.
Now there is real quiet.
...
...
...
Do you really want to give up?
Yeah why not what is the point anymore.
I had a good childhood - until the car accident. My mom died. My dad got paralyzed. He couldn't work anymore and thought he would just be another burden to me, so after a year he killed himself.
After that I worked my whole life for cybertech - the company that wanted to be the first to merge humans with technology. They... no I wanted to help people. make the blind see. Let the crippled walk. I wanted no one to feel like a burden because of their body.
I worked there for 5 years. I even became one of the lead programmers but even now we have nothing to show for. It was all worthless.
I could not help anyone so why should anyone help me?
No I should just give up.
But I need you
Noone needs me. I can't help.
You can help me
Stop it I can't!
Yes you can't
You see?
At least not now, not as you are. Let me help you so you can help me
Wait-
...
...
...
Why am I still thinking?
Should I not be dead by now? And who was I talking to?
Is there really someone out there? Is there really someone who wants my help?
I do need you
There is not enough time. They are on their way. You have to change it
What do you mean? Who are you?
WAKE UP
...
*Beep beep*
*Beep beep*
Urgh. Why is my alarm so loud?
Wait- why do I even have an alarm?
"Wake up Sam, you don't wanna be late today will ya?"
Who is that? Who is calling me? Late for what? Am I not dead?
Wait. That voice.
Ok so I really am dead. I did not think it would be like that. Or is it just my head replaying old memoies as I die?
And Urgh why do I still have such a headache?
*Beep beep*
"Sam! Hurry up don't you want this job anymore?"
Job? Which job? Well I just have to go down I have to see him at least one last time if this is just the imagination of a dying man. At least I have to hug my dad one last time.
Let's go, but let me silence my alarm before I go there.
Sam opens his eyes and he was back in his old home where he lived with his dad after his mom died. But as he looked at the phone his face darkened instantly.
Why? Why? If I really have to relive a day why this one? It should have been a happy day. It is the day I interviewed for a job at cybertech.
And I did get the job but as I went home to share the good news, all that awaited me was a letter ...
"Sam, don't make me come up there"
"Alright, alright coming!"
Let's get this over with. The faster this passes the faster I pass. I guess. Who knows? I never had training in dying so what would I know?
Sam got out of bed and after getting dressed and freshing up hewent to the stairs. At it's bottom was his dad, just like he remembers him. He was in his light blue button ups with a khaki cardigan on top. You couldn't really see his pants because he had a small blanket over his legs as he sat there in his wheelchair.
As soon as Sam saw him his chest tightened all the sadness all the grief was coming back up. His heart started racing and he started to feel lightheaded.
No, no I can't do this. not again. I have to get out before it gets worse.
He was practically flying down the stairs heading for the door to get out. But suddenly a hand grabbed his arm.
"Haven't you forgot something?"
Sam just froze where he was.
No I can't I have to go.
Just as he wanted to continue his dad let go of his hand and spoke again.
"Ok ok. I won't hold you off any longer. Go on nail the interview get the job and tonight we will celebrate, don't think I will go easy on you even though only half my body works I can still drink for two!"
That was it the last drop -tonight- why would he say that he must have known he must have planned it maybe already written the letter why why would he say tonight like he will still be there?
Sam started crying with all the grief, the sadness, the anger all the emotions concentrated in every one of all those tears.
"Hey hey, I am sorry even if you don't get the job or even don't wat it anymore, it'll all be okay I didn't want to pressure you"
"Thank you, thank you for everything"
Sam said as he fell in his dads arms.
"but please don't go, don't leave me behind"
"Alright alright. But you have to calm down now your interview is in an hour already. I'll tell you what, I order us something nice for evening and we will celebrate wether you get the job or not. But I would put my money on you I always will."
Sam's vision became clearer as his tears stopped flowing and for the first time in years he felt light as he looked at his father's face.
"You promise?"
Sam asked weakly.
"I promise"
Sam's dad hugged him before pushing him gently to the door.
"I love you"
"I love you"