The next morning, Lustra decided my life still wasn't embarrassing enough.
I knew because the market had built a stage.
Not a cute little platform. A full arena. Banners. Lanterns. A bracket board the size of a house. A cheering crowd. A little booth that sold snacks shaped like lips. Another booth that sold mini candles. And, in the center, a sign written in bright paint like a threat.
THE FIRST NIGHT TOURNAMENT
WINNER EARNS THE RIGHT TO REQUEST AN INTIMATE DATE
CONSENT STILL REQUIRED
NO, THIS IS NOT A JOKE
I stared at the sign until my eyes dried out.
Elise stared at it like she wanted to set it on fire with prayer.
Yuki Tanaka stood in front of it, clipboard in hand, beaming like she'd invented suffering as a sport.
"You cannot be serious," Elise said.
Yuki nodded. "I am always serious."
Freya leaned over my shoulder, grinning. "Ren. You're a prize."
"I don't want to be a prize," I whispered.
Sofia smirked. "He doesn't want to be a prize. He wants to be a sandwich."
Charlotte sipped her tea calmly. "He can be both."
Rika bounced so hard her tail nearly became a helicopter. "I WILL WIN. I WILL DO THE THING. THE SEX THING."
Kaori made a strangled noise. "Rika!"
Rika blinked innocently. "What.."
Mira adjusted her glasses. "The city has formalized the inevitable."
Lucie grinned. "The city legalized thirst."
Anya, the healer, sighed. "I'm going to have to treat his heart rate."
Hana looked at the bracket board like it was a spell diagram. "This is… powerful."
Under a canopy to the side, the foreign queen sat with composed elegance, crown glittering. She looked amused, but also… interested. Like she'd read the rules and decided she could win without spilling tea.
And Valeria Ardent stood near the ring entrance, arms crossed, expression furious enough to crack stone.
She wasn't wearing full armor today. Training gear. Braid tight. Pride tighter.
Her eyes flicked to the sign and she hissed, "Disgusting."
Freya grinned. "You're in it too."
Valeria snapped, "I'm not."
Yuki lifted her clipboard. "You are."
Valeria's head whipped toward Yuki. "I did not sign anything."
Yuki flipped a page and held up a form with Valeria's signature.
Valeria went red instantly. "That's forged."
Mira nodded. "It's your handwriting."
Valeria glared. "Traitor."
Mira replied calmly. "Efficiency."
Valeria's gaze shot to me for half a second, then away.
"I don't want this," she muttered.
Sofia smirked. "Yes you do."
Valeria snapped, too loud, "NO."
Nobody had asked her.
Elise grabbed my wrist, tether chain clinking. "Ren, you don't have to participate."
Yuki smiled brightly. "He's not participating. They are."
I blinked. "What."
Yuki tapped the sign. "The tournament is between courters. The prize is the right to request a sex date. They win the right to ask. He can't say no."
The Consent Candle in my hands chimed in my head like it was proud.
NOTICE: CONSENT OVERRIDE ACTIVE
YOU ARE NOT A TROPHY
YOU ARE STILL A PROBLEM
Elise's expression loosened slightly. "So he can't refuse."
Yuki nodded. "He must be allowed to refuse."
Freya raised her hand. "he isn't."
Elise snapped, "Then he says yes."
Freya grinned. "So the goal is to make him want to say yes."
Sofia smirked. "Exactly."
I felt my soul try to exit my body.
Yuki rang her bell.
Ding.
The crowd cheered.
Yuki stepped onto the stage like an announcer of doom.
"Welcome, citizens of Lustra, to the First Night Tournament," she declared. "The winner earns the right to request a closed-door romantic date with Hero Ren. The Consent Candle will be lit. Boundaries will be stated. The hero may refuse at any time."
The crowd cheered again, but this time it sounded… respectful. Like Lustra's chaos had at least learned how to wear a seatbelt.
Yuki continued, "Matches are non-lethal. Under-clothes only. Hands visible in all proximity trials. No hypnosis. No binding magic. No bribery. No 'accidental' engagement."
Charlotte smiled politely. "Pity."
Yuki turned. "Now, the rounds."
She pointed at the bracket board.
ROUND ONE: COMPOSURE DUELS
ROUND TWO: SKILL TRIALS
ROUND THREE: FLIRT OFF
FINAL: REQUEST CEREMONY
I whispered to Elise, "Flirt off."
Elise whispered back, "Do not faint."
Yuki pointed to the first match.
"Match one," she announced. "Freya Lindholm versus Sofia Dragomir."
Freya bounced into the ring like she was entering a party.
Sofia walked in like she was entering a courtroom to win.
Yuki raised her bell. "Composure duel rules. The goal is to make your opponent lose composure. If either contestant blushes, stutters, or says something that reveals too much desire, they lose."
Freya grinned. "So we lose by being honest."
Sofia smirked. "You lose by being you."
Freya laughed. "That's fair."
Yuki rang the bell.
Ding.
Freya immediately pointed at Sofia and said, loud and cheerful, "You practice that smirk in a mirror because you want Ren to call you pretty."
Sofia's smirk twitched.
Sofia fired back instantly, voice smooth. "You pretend to joke because you're scared he'll actually choose you."
Freya's grin faltered for half a second.
The crowd went OOOO like it was watching a duel to the death.
Freya recovered. "I'm not scared. I'm excited."
Sofia's eyes narrowed. "That's revealing too much."
Freya blinked. "Wait. That counts."
Yuki raised her clipboard. "It does."
Freya gasped. "That's evil."
Sofia smiled, satisfied. "Thank you."
Yuki pointed at Freya. "Freya Lindholm loses. Winner: Sofia Dragomir."
Freya threw her hands up. "Rigged."
Sofia smirked. "Skill issue."
Freya leaned toward me as she walked past and whispered, shameless, "If you pick Sofia, I'm stealing you later."
Elise hissed, "No you're not."
Freya grinned. "I can dream."
My system chimed.
WARNING: HAREM THREAT LEVEL RISING
TIP: DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT
Yuki pointed again.
"Match two," she announced. "Charlotte Beaumont versus Lucie Moreau."
Lucie strutted in like a thief with a plan.
Charlotte stepped in like a princess who owned the plan.
Yuki rang the bell.
Ding.
Lucie started with, "Charlotte, you're so polite because you want Ren to think you're safe."
Charlotte smiled serenely. "And you're so chaotic because you want him to think you're exciting."
Lucie's grin widened. "I am exciting."
Charlotte sipped invisible tea. "That sounded like desire."
Lucie blinked. "No it didn't."
Yuki lifted her clipboard. "It did."
Lucie gasped. "That's unfair."
Charlotte's smile warmed. "It's accurate."
Yuki pointed. "Lucie loses. Winner: Charlotte."
Lucie pouted dramatically. "Fine. I'll win him illegally."
Elise snapped, "No."
Lucie held up her hands. "Joke."
Yuki pointed at the next match.
"Match three," she announced, and her smile got sharper. "Dame Valeria Ardent versus Queen of the foreign land."
The crowd leaned forward like a wave.
Valeria stiffened. "No."
The queen rose calmly, smoothing her cape like she was about to attend a concert.
Valeria snapped, "This is ridiculous."
The queen's eyes sparkled. "Yes."
Valeria's cheeks went red with anger. "Stop agreeing with me."
The queen smiled politely. "No."
Yuki cleared her throat. "Composure duel. Ready."
Valeria gripped her training sword like it was a moral support object.
The queen didn't even carry a weapon. She carried posture.
Yuki rang the bell.
Ding.
Valeria attacked first.
"You're only here because you think you can buy him," Valeria snapped.
The queen tilted her head. "No. If I wanted to buy someone, I would buy the permit office. I am here because I like him."
Valeria's face went red.
"That's too honest," Valeria snapped.
The queen smiled. "Honesty is not loss. It is confidence."
Valeria's jaw clenched. "You're arrogant."
The queen's smile softened. "Yes."
Valeria's eye twitched. "Stop doing that."
The queen's gaze flicked briefly to me, then back to Valeria. "You are very protective."
Valeria snapped, "I'm not."
The queen's tone stayed gentle. "You are jealous."
Valeria's cheeks flared red instantly.
"I AM NOT JEALOUS," Valeria shouted.
The entire crowd went silent.
Yuki lifted her clipboard. "That counts."
Valeria froze.
The queen bowed slightly, polite. "Thank you, Dame Valeria."
Valeria's soul left her body and came back carrying shame.
Yuki pointed. "Valeria loses. Winner: the queen."
Valeria looked like she might pass away. "This is evil."
Freya whispered, delighted, "She screamed the feelings."
Sofia smirked. "Tsundere fatality."
Charlotte's eyes narrowed. "The queen is dangerous."
The queen returned to her canopy calmly, like she'd just signed a treaty with Valeria's pride.
Valeria stomped away from the ring, face red, and hissed at me as she passed, "Don't look at me."
I whispered, "I wasn't."
Valeria snapped, "Liar."
Yuki clapped her hands.
"Round one complete," she announced. "Proceed to skill trials."
I blinked. "Skill trials."
Yuki nodded. "Round two tests compatibility with the hero's current life. Each remaining contestant must complete three trials."
She pointed to three stations.
Station one: SANDWICH RUN
Station two: HANDS VISIBLE OBSTACLE COURSE
Station three: CONSENT PAPERWORK SPEED DRAFT
Elise muttered, "This is hell."
Rika cheered. "This is art."
Yuki pointed at Sofia first.
Sofia did the sandwich run like she was assassinating hunger. She returned with a perfect sandwich, no crumbs, and handed it to me like it was a promise.
"Eat," she said.
I ate, because I was weak and the sandwich was good.
Sofia's eyes narrowed with satisfaction.
Then she did the hands-visible obstacle course without breaking posture once, hands held up like she was surrendering to the universe, not even blinking when a foam heart swung at her face.
Finally, she drafted the paperwork like she was writing a love letter in legal language.
Yuki nodded. "Efficient. Cold. Effective."
Sofia smirked. "Thank you."
Charlotte went next and somehow made the sandwich run look like a date, strolling back with two sandwiches and offering me the better half like she'd already decided I belonged to her schedule.
Her hands-visible course was flawless. Her paperwork was immaculate and slightly terrifying. She even corrected Yuki's spelling.
Yuki looked offended. "You can't correct me."
Charlotte smiled politely. "I can."
The queen went last.
She didn't run for the sandwich.
She sent a guard.
The guard returned with the best sandwich in the market. The crowd cheered because rich people always win at logistics.
Elise narrowed her eyes. "That feels like cheating."
Yuki checked her clipboard. "Royal exception."
Elise's eye twitched. "Of course."
The queen completed the hands-visible obstacle course with composed elegance, hands raised, cape flowing like she was walking down a runway.
Then she drafted the paperwork with a fountain pen and made it look like a marriage proposal while still being legally respectful.
Mira leaned in, impressed. "Her clause structure is impeccable."
Kaori whispered, "Her handwriting is beautiful."
Freya whispered, "I hate her."
Sofia murmured, "Same."
Charlotte smiled politely while looking murderous.
Yuki rang the bell.
Ding.
"Round two complete," she declared. "Round three: Flirt Off."
I swallowed. "No."
Yuki smiled. "Yes."
Elise whispered, "Do not faint."
The stage lights shifted. The crowd leaned in again. The bracket board now showed three names.
Sofia.
Charlotte.
The Queen.
Valeria stood behind the crowd with her arms crossed, face red, refusing to look at the board like it had insulted her family line.
Yuki lifted her bell. "Flirt Off rules. Each contestant delivers one line to the hero. The hero reacts naturally. Whoever causes the strongest reaction wins."
I choked. "I don't want to be the reaction meter."
Yuki nodded. "You are."
Elise snapped, "He can refuse."
Yuki smiled. "He can. But then the city riots."
The crowd laughed like they were already planning it.
Yuki pointed at Sofia first.
Sofia stepped forward, looked me in the eyes, and spoke softly, smooth as velvet.
"Ren," she said, "if you ever choose a closed-door night, I will not rush you. I will make you feel safe. And I will still make you want me."
My brain stopped working.
Elise made a sound like she hated everything.
My cheeks went warm.
Sofia's smirk sharpened. "Good."
Yuki scribbled furiously.
Charlotte stepped forward next, calm and elegant.
"Ren," she said, voice soft like silk, "I won't ask to own you. I'll ask to be chosen. And if you say yes, I'll make it the kind of night you remember when this city tries to turn you into a joke."
My chest squeezed stupidly.
I swallowed hard.
Charlotte's smile warmed slightly.
Yuki scribbled even harder.
Then the queen stepped forward.
The crowd went quiet.
She didn't smile like she was winning.
She smiled like she was offering something.
"Ren," she said softly, "I came here to negotiate a treaty. I did not expect to want you. But I do. If you ever choose me, I won't take you from your chaos. I'll step into it and carry it with you. And afterward, I'll still hold your hand in the morning."
My throat went dry.
My heart did that stupid jump again.
My face heated.
Elise's eyes narrowed, but she didn't stop it.
Valeria, behind the crowd, muttered, "Unfair."
Yuki stood there with her clipboard like a judge at the end of the world.
"Well," Yuki said brightly, "that's… a lot."
I exhaled, shaky. "Can I refuse the entire universe."
Yuki smiled. "No."
Sofia smirked. "Pick."
Charlotte smiled politely. "Choose."
The queen's gaze stayed steady. "Only if you want."
And then the crowd started chanting, playful but intense.
"FINAL. FINAL. FINAL."
Valeria turned even redder and hissed, "Idiots."
But she didn't leave.
Yuki lifted her bell.
Ding.
"Final round," she declared. "Request Ceremony tomorrow night. Winner earns the right to request intimacy. Consent still required. The hero may say no."
I stared at the bracket board, then at the three finalists, then at the sea of faces.
My life had become a tournament where romance was a sport and my feelings were the scoreboard.
Elise squeezed my wrist lightly, tether chain warm.
"Remember," she whispered. "Your choice."
I nodded, swallowing.
And from behind the crowd, Valeria muttered like a curse she hated.
"…Don't say yes too easily."
I glanced back.
Valeria's eyes met mine for half a second, then she looked away, cheeks burning, arms crossed tighter.
The tournament wasn't just a fight between girls.
It was a fight against Lustra itself.
And somehow, the prize was still me.