When Kenny called and said he needed help after finding out that we were still in New York, I told Scott to go. As it was, they had barely seen each other since Kenny moved out. It also gave me an excuse to get rid of him so I could make myself presentable before our guests arrived. Frankie didn't stick around after he dropped Jenny off. He did promise to check in on us tomorrow though. So in the end, it was just Jenny and I in the apartment.
"I should call Collette," I said, as Jenny walked around the living room, taking the place in. "She will probably want to know—"
"Please don't," said Jenny, touching the side of a photo frame with her finger, before picking it up. "She doesn't get it. I think you will."
"Get what? I'm sorry, I don't even know if you've eaten or want something to drink," I said nervously, unaware of what state of mind she was in.
"It's okay, Stacy. Relax. I went to see Peter's family. I had no idea mom went ballistic about my so called disappearance until Frankie came to pick me up, saying I'm in mortal danger," she said, completely unfazed about that last part, like she didn't care if she died tomorrow. "When was this?" she asked, turning the photo frame towards me.
"Four years ago," I said, going to her to take the frame from her with a nostalgic smile. "It was our first New Year's together. We went out with a group of friends to Times Square to see the ball drop. Usually he'd spend New Year's with his family back in Ohio, but this year I broke my leg and he didn't want me to have to deal with that alone. So he stayed in New York to help me. We got so drunk that night. I don't know how he pulled this photo off, but he's obsessed with documenting everything. He's a photographer. It was a good night."
He made me ditch my crunches after a night of heavy partying and carried me the rest of the way on his back, while I held onto his camera and tripod. We rushed around nearly knocking into people the whole way, just so we wouldn't miss the ball drop. We laughed so hard for no reason, wondering whether we'd make it or not. He of course was the eternal optimist, promising to get us there in time.
I kissed him on the cheek just as the flash of the camera he had set up nearby went off, giving him his first kiss for the year. The photograph was the moment right after. We had goofy smiles on our faces, like the idiotic drunk people we were and they were directed at each other.
"Where is everyone else? The rest of your friend group?" Jenny asked, moving onto a different photo on the mantle.
This one was from when Kenny and Scott moved into this apartment. The three of us were posing in front of a freshly painted wall, having just finished painting the apartment.
"Uhm, I actually have no idea," I said, returning the frame to the mantle. "We lost them a few minutes before midnight."
Never before, when I looked at that photo, did it occur to me how special this moment was. He left everything and everyone behind to bring the new year in with me.
"What's happening here?" Jenny asked, moving onto the final frame on the mantle.
"He's being an idiot. Ruining a family photo," I said, my smile widening. "The women in the photo are his mom and his sister. It was Thanksgiving. They have this tradition where they would pose for a photo with the thing that they're most thankful for getting that year."
"So he's holding a wallet?" Jenny asked, confused.
"That was seven years ago, when we met. If you look closely, you can see that the wallet has a photo of me in it that he took the night we met. Like I said, he's an idiot," I said, but I couldn't stop smiling.
"So the thing he was thankful for getting was you. That's sweet. Seven years, huh? A guy who doesn't flirt back when another woman has her tits in his face after seven years is a keeper. I practically threw myself at him, but all he talked about was you," she said, her voice melancholic, like she envied me.
"Oh no, we've only been together for six months. The newer photos are in the bedroom. We weren't—" I corrected her, but she interrupted me.
"Sure you were. The girl in these photos loves this boy. She may not know it yet, but she does. And him? He's even more obvious. You're in all his important photographs, even when you're not in the room. That guy worships you. I'm sorry I tried to fuck with that, but I hope you'll understand when I tell you why I did what I did," she said, sitting down and folding her arms.
Kenny would say things like this to me all the time, but hearing a stranger pick up on my feelings for Scott just from a few photographs long before I knew about them had me once again looking at our whole friendship differently. Fuck we were dense. For the first time in my life, I felt grateful to Don Angelo. If he didn't force me into an unwanted engagement, we might never have gotten together.
I went to sit next to Jenny and waited for her to continue, but she seemed to be struggling to start. Only a boy could have a Luciano woman this tongue tied.
"Who is Peter?" I asked, trying to get her started.
"My Scott," she said, a tear dropping on her cheek.
In true Luciano fashion, she wiped it away immediately.
"He was a florist. We met when I walked into his flower shop. I was there buying flowers for another man. Fucking innocent smile. He got straight to the point. Told me I was gorgeous and that he just had to take me out. Threatened to spam me with flowers that my boyfriend would see, leading to a break up if we couldn't have just one date. He was easy on the eyes. Had a voice so soothing that even a creepy threat like that sounded romantic. I of course told him to spam away and that I was sure my step dad would love the flowers," she said and we shared a little laugh. "And then I gave him my number. We were engaged within a year."
She sounded so happy talking about him, living in their memories, like she could talk about him forever. I knew the feeling well. Scott once told me I didn't have to try so hard with Willow and his mom, but when I talked to them I wasn't trying to win them over. I was simply addicted to talking to people who loved him like I did. Had stories to tell about him that I didn't know yet.
There was more to the story though. She had a pained look on her face. This didn't end well.
"Was a florist?" I asked, gently broaching the subject. "What happened to him?"
"He died in a car bombing soon after we got engaged. I'm a journalist and I was working on a big story at the time. I think it was meant for me," she said, her voice breaking as more tears fell. "They never found out who did it. I know it's crazy. What I'm trying to do. But I just can't undo him. I don't know how to let go. All I have left is vengeance."
"And you want to use the mafia to get it?" I asked, completely outraged. "Jenny—"
She looked at me as though begging me to understand. It wasn't nearly the same thing. Maybe I did use Scott as an excuse to keep going back to Don Angelo, but I know I'd do it all again. If I could, I'd have hidden Scott from Don Angelo all my life. Because even now, I lived with the constant fear of losing Scott to the petty game I was playing with Don Angelo.
But what could I do? I was so wrapped up in him. Every time he put me in another one of his photos, I fell more in love with him. Every time he smiled at me, I felt more like I couldn't live without him. And the sex? The sex just made everything that much more explosive. Every time he took me to bed, I felt like he was baring his soul to me with his body.
I didn't know what to say to her. I wanted to scream at her that I didn't make the sacrifice I made just to have her rejoin the mafia fifteen years later, but she was right. If anyone was going to get a desperate love like what she must have felt for her fiance, it was me. Would I do anything differently in her shoes?
"Please. This is all I have. Help me marry Luca. We talked about it. He's going to find Peter's killer for me. He promised me," she said, desperately clutching my hands.
"Rethink this, Jenny. We can undo your deal with Luca. He's a dangerous man. His word only holds weight as long as he can use it to his advantage. There's no guarantee that he will keep his promise. I'll find a way to keep you safe. I don't want this to be the last time I see you," I said, knowing these weren't the words she wanted to hear, but I had to try. "I can't be caught up in that world again. Not if I'm going to be with Scott. Not after working so hard to get out. If you choose this, we're never going to get to know each other."
"You turned out so beautiful," she said to me, smiling at me through the tears. "I'm so glad I got to meet with you again. See you in love. Away from dad. You deserve Scott. Love him endlessly. Let him love you back just as madly. Don't let anyone or anything stop you. Not even me. I'm sorry I can't do better by you. You gave me everything. You gave me the life I needed to meet Peter. I'll be forever grateful. I'll never forget, no matter where I am."
I took her into my arms and cried hard with her. For everything she'd lost. For all our time apart. For choosing my life with Scott over knowing her.
"Make
the call, Stacy," she said, stroking my hair like she was the big sister.