The throne room trembled.
Not because of an earthquake.
Not because of magic.
But because a dozen demons were kneeling on the floor, trembling like they were watching their queen achieve divine enlightenment… while I sparkled uncontrollably.
"My Queen…" whispered one of the captains, "have you ascended into a Holy Archdemon?"
I wanted to scream.
Because I...Elliot Rutherford, a perfectly normal guy...was glowing with Holy Aura Lv. 2 thanks to the stupid, stupid System.
Sparkles drifted around me.
My silver hair shimmered like starlight.
Even my dress radiated enough brightness to legally qualify as a lighthouse.
[Holy Aura enhanced!]
[Passive effect: Awe + Confusion applied to all nearby beings.]
Great.
Exactly what I wanted in life.
To blind demons with holiness.
The demons began crying reverent tears.
"My Queen," one whispered, "we never imagined Your Majesty would walk the path… of radiant transcendence…"
"I DID NOT TRANSCEND ANYTHING!"
I coughed, trying to regain some dignity. "Ahem. This is not transcendence."
Before I could say more, the throne room doors slammed open.
A tall figure marched in...broad-shouldered, sharp-horned, clad in obsidian armor. His crimson eyes glowed with barely restrained violence.
The First General.
He took one look at me...sparkling like a divine disco ball...and froze.
"…What," he said in the flattest tone known to demonkind.
I pointed at him.
"You. Close the door."
He closed the door.
Then stared again.
"…What."
His voice was unchanged. Pure betrayal by reality.
"Good morning," I said weakly.
"My Queen," he said slowly, "why do you look like… that?"
Sparkles intensified.
"Don't look at me!" I hissed.
He stepped closer, squinting.
"Are you… purifying the room?"
"It's not purification! It's...SYSTEM MALFUNCTION!"
He paused.
"A curse?"
"YES! NO! MAYBE! I DON'T KNOW!"
[Warning: Lying is not heroic.]
[Minor HP deduction.]
10 HP vanished from my health bar.
I winced.
The General frowned.
"Your Majesty's life force is dropping. Who is attacking you?"
"No one! It's allergies!"
"…Allergies to what? Righteousness?"
I choked, nearly dying on the spot.
The demons behind him whispered dramatically:
"She suffers under divine burden…"
"Such radiance… such agony…"
"Truly, enlightenment is painful…"
I grabbed my head.
"STOP SAYING THINGS THAT MAKE THIS WORSE!"
The General kneeled.
"Your Majesty. Tell me who corrupted your form. I will remove their soul."
"I... I... it's complicated!"
[New Quest: Prevent the Demon Army from attacking the human village.]
[Time Limit: 3 hours.]
Right. Today was "Destroy Village Day."
Not on my watch.
I stood abruptly.
"All troops: cancel the assault."
Gasps erupted across the room.
The General rose.
"My Queen… you never cancel assaults."
"Well, I'm canceling one now."
"Why?"
Think, Elliot.
What would a Demon Queen say?
"I…"
I lifted my chin dramatically, sparkles swirling.
"…received a new vision."
The demons dropped to their knees instantly.
"A revelation…"
"A divine prophecy…"
"Her Majesty sees beyond time itself…"
Bless these gullible demons.
"We will avoid unnecessary bloodshed," I declared.
Another demon fainted.
Someone cried.
The General's jaw clenched in existential crisis.
"M-Mercy… from you?" he whispered.
"Uh-huh."
He knelt deeper.
"If Your Majesty commands mercy, then mercy shall be our law."
[Quest Progress: Success!]
[Affection with Humanity +2]
[Holy Aura brightness increased.]
"TURN IT DOWN! TURN IT DOWN!"
Light blasted from me in a holy explosion.
Demons shielded their eyes.
"She shines brighter than the moon…"
"She radiates purity…"
"Our Queen has ascended…"
I groaned internally.
And then...
The General cleared his throat.
"My Queen… forgive my boldness, but for the sake of verifying Your Majesty's soul, please allow me to speak your full name."
"My… what?"
He bowed deeply, placing a fist over his heart.
"Your full and honored name:
Elinora Thredulf, Sovereign of the Thirteen Legions,
Descendant of the Thredulf Dynasty,
Queen of the Black Spire."
I blinked.
"…Sorry, WHAT did you just call me?"
He repeated proudly, louder:
"Elinora Thredulf.
Your true name."
I stared.
Elinora Thredulf.
Elliot Rutherford.
My brain blue-screened.
"That... That is just my name scrambled with extra flair!"
The General froze.
"…Your Majesty?"
I pointed at myself.
"Elliot Rutherford!"
I pointed at the air.
"Elinora Thredulf!"
I waved between them frantically.
"That's literally the SAME LETTERS!"
[Soul Resonance Detected: 99% Match]
"STOP MATCHING ME!"
The General shot to his feet, eyes blazing.
"Who dares tamper with Her Majesty's sacred soul-code?!
I shall destroy them!"
"It's ME! I'm the problem! THE SYSTEM IS THE PROBLEM!"
Before he could vow bloodshed...
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
A demon messenger burst through the doors.
"My Queen! Emergency!"
The General growled. "Speak!"
"Humans… humans are approaching the castle!"
The room tensed.
"Are they here to attack?" the General asked coldly.
"N-No! They're bringing offerings!"
Everyone froze.
The messenger continued:
"They claim they come to worship the
Holy Queen Elinora Thredulf, Bringer of Dawn."
I collapsed into the throne.
Of course.
Of course this would happen.
Holy Aura…
sparkles…
blinding radiance…
I buried my glowing face in my glowing hands.
"Please," I whispered.
"Please stop worshipping me…"
[New Quest: Meet the human worshippers peacefully.]
I groaned.
This world was going to kill me before anything else did.