INT. BOB'S BURGERS — MORNING
(Bell jingles. Small breakfast crowd. BOB works the counter, TINA runs the register with a tip jar labeled "HORSE FUND," GENE mans the grill in a cape made from aluminum foil and deli paper. TEDDY sits at the counter, basking in the attention of two selfie-happy teens.)
GENE(calling to the room, spatula as mic)
Today's special is the Hero Sandwich—it's just a burger but it thinks it's better than you.
TINA(to a customer, calm)
Would you like that medium, or "Teddy-level," which is somehow both rare and well done.
TEEN #1(snapping a pic with Teddy)
Hashtag Shark Puncher!
TEDDY(doing a modest-but-not-modest shrug)
Hey, if people wanna tell me I'm the one that beat up the monster, who am I to argue!
BOB(leaning in, weary)
It literally wasn't you, Teddy. Like, you know it wasn't you.
TEDDY(earnest, spiraling)
How do I know that I don't know that, Bob? How do I know that I don't know?!
BOB
I don't know, Teddy!
TEDDY(beat, satisfied)
Okay!
(Awkward silence. Grill sizzles. A ketchup bottle pthbbts.)
GENE(stage whisper; then loud)
Aura farming- wait that's a great name for a band!
TINA(ringing up a check)
Memory is like a horse. Sometimes it bucks.
BOB(to the teens, weak smile)
He didn't do it.
TEEN #2(already posting)
He totally did it.
TEDDY(to Bob, gentle)
Hey, look, if it makes you feel better, I'll dedicate my victory to you.
BOB
Please don't dedicate my victory to you.
TEDDY(hand to chest)
Dedicated.
BOB(tiny groan)
Okay.
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