Chapter 122: Lady Luck Can't Save Bad RNG, Money Can't Buy Good Pulls—Are You Serious, System?
"Go big or go home. Roll the dice, turn a motorcycle into a Lamborghini," Edward muttered, sitting up, his eyes resolute.
However, going straight for the premium gacha seemed too reckless. If his luck tanked, ten million gold would be wasted, and he'd be sick about it.
Following classic gaming wisdom, he had to start with a basic gacha to test his luck for the day.
"System, one basic gacha, ten pulls!"
"Confirm spending 1,000 gold for a basic ten-pull?"
"Confirm."
The instant he spoke, 1,000 gold vanished from his account, leaving him with 48,150,899.
At the same time, a plain, unadorned bronze wheel appeared on the screen, spinning rapidly.
The wheel's spin had zero visual appeal—like a rusty top, slowing after two rotations and gently stopping. Ten white lights flew out, transforming into ten small cards hovering before Edward.
Edward rubbed his hands together, opening the first card with the anticipation of unboxing a mystery prize.
"Item Acquired: Bag of Coffee Beans x1"
Edward: "..."
He looked at the bag of coffee beans, which seemed to be decent quality, and fell into contemplation.
What was this supposed to mean? Was the system worried he'd get tired in the Underworld and wanted him to grind his own espresso?
Should he brew one for Dorothy too and tell her, "It's cold out, have some hot coffee to warm up"?
He opened the second card expressionlessly.
"Book Acquired: The Holy Bible x1"
Edward's expression grew even more peculiar.
The Holy Bible? Did he, someone already wielding Holy Light powers, really need this thing?
Next time he encountered a demon, would he skip Purification and just physically exorcise them by smacking them in the face with it? "The Lord said, 'Let there be light,' and then—WHAM—book to the face?"
Suppressing the urge to complain, he opened the third card.
"Accessory Acquired: Crystal Necklace x1"
A glass necklace that looked like it came from a dollar store, with zero energy signature and even somewhat shoddy craftsmanship.
Edward felt that if he gave this thing to Emma and the others, they'd probably toss it straight into the garbage with contempt.
"Alright, next one."
The fourth card flipped.
"Apparel Acquired: Blue Trench Coat x1"
A blue, long trench coat—retro style, finely tailored—materialized before his eyes.
For some reason, the moment he saw this coat, a line inexplicably popped into Edward's mind—"I need more power."
He shivered, feeling like if he wore this coat, he might awaken some weird bloodline and end up sitting on a plastic chair all day waiting for someone to come chop him down.
"Next."
The fifth card.
"Ability Acquired: Good Singing Voice LV3 (Passive)"
A line of text appeared: Your voice will become more magnetic and persuasive, and you will achieve professional-level vocal skills.
"Oh?" Edward raised an eyebrow. This was finally something useful. Persuasiveness could come in handy when negotiating with people (or ghosts).
As for the singing... he remembered Dorothy mentioning that "legendary singer from Transylvania." Maybe he could even make a guest appearance at the Underworld Christmas concert and do a duet?
His mood slightly improved, and he opened the sixth card.
"Item Acquired: Propeller Beanie x1"
A familiar item, like something pulled straight from a certain cartoon character's pocket.
Edward's eye started twitching again. A propeller beanie? He'd let Lily and the others play with it!
"This is getting ridiculous..."
The seventh card.
"Book Acquired: The Art of War by Sun Tzu x1"
Edward was completely speechless. From The Holy Bible to The Art of War—was the system trying to make him engage in deep cross-cultural philosophical exchange?
He no longer held any hope and casually opened the eighth card.
"Item Acquired: Alarm Clock x1"
A red, completely ordinary-looking mechanical alarm clock.
"Great, the system's worried I'll get lost in the Underworld sightseeing and forget when to come home. How thoughtful," Edward deadpanned.
The ninth card.
"Item Acquired: Clark Kent's Glasses x1"
A pair of unremarkable black-rimmed glasses.
Edward picked up the glasses and put them on. The lenses had no prescription, and his vision remained clear.
He couldn't help but walk to the mirror and adjust the glasses. The person in the reflection was still himself, as handsome as ever, but he didn't instantly transform into someone else.
"So the purpose of this thing is... fashion accessory?"
Only one card left.
Edward sighed, feeling utterly defeated, like he'd spent a thousand coins on ten pieces of junk.
He listlessly opened the last card.
"Acquired: Holy Light Level +1"
A warm current surged through his body, and the experience bar for Holy Light LV2 visibly whoosh transformed into Holy Light LV3.
"..."
Edward fell silent.
Ten pulls, one thousand gold, and he only got one moderately useful "Good Singing Voice," an ominous trench coat, and Holy Light Level +1. The rest were completely random garbage.
"Lady Luck can't save bad RNG, and whaling can't buy good pulls... The old sayings were right."
He looked at his remaining forty-eight million gold, then at the glittering "Premium Gacha."
Ten million for one ten-pull.
To roll or not to roll?
The dismal results of the basic gacha made him seriously question his luck.
But on the other hand, maybe the basic gacha prize pool was just trash and couldn't yield anything good? Or was the system hinting that to get top-tier items, he had to drop serious cash?
Going to the Underworld, facing an unfathomable Underworld Lord—his current abilities might let him protect himself, but to get out unscathed wasn't guaranteed enough.
He needed a true trump card.
A trump card that would give him the confidence to walk through the Underworld, and even flip the table if things went south.
Edward's eyes gradually sharpened.
Hesitation leads to defeat.
Being decisive leads to getting screwed.
Whatever! Money lost can be earned back, but a life lost is gone forever!
"System!" Edward took a deep breath, as if making a solemn vow, and said firmly, "Give me one... premium gacha! Ten pulls!"
"Confirm spending 10,000,000 gold for a premium ten-pull?"
"Confirm! Right now! Do it!"
As his confirmation thought registered, the gold in his account instantly plummeted to 38,150,899.
At the same time, the screen before him vibrated violently. The previous bronze wheel disappeared, replaced by a massive wheel made of pure golden light, covered with intricate, mysterious runes.
The moment the wheel spun, the entire room seemed to illuminate, and a magnificent, sacred chorus seemed to echo in his ears!
These special effects were a hundred times better than that broken bronze junk from before!
Edward's heart involuntarily raced as he stared intently at the rapidly spinning golden wheel.
"Give me something powerful!"
The wheel stopped with a resounding crash...
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