They say .. as teenagers we do not know what we want. And we spend a great deal of time arguing with the adults of how aware we are.
At times we make certain choices just to prove a point.
" But do we really know what we want?"
Not really but the idea of being controlled by someone who had the chance to live their lives but is hellbent on making you follow their rules is crazy.
I get worked up all the time when asked this question. I did tell mom I knew what I was doing with my free time but in reality I barely know what to do at all.
I was convinced that I was going to ask mom how she had lived out her early days.
If she did let her parents influence her choices.If she does what they tell her all the time.
At times I do wonder why she was always scared for me.
***
I did go out to parties and most times returned home drunk. Mom would keep on blabbing about how it was unsafe out there for me.
As a girl child !
She said it was best I stayed over at my friends place but I knew better.
It seems as though she became this way the moment I turned thirteen. At times I wish I was with my dad but I can't stay with him because he married a woman i don't give a shit about.
*****
I'm in class today sitting quietly as usual with my pink hoodie and my earphones plugged in listening to benson boone's 'before you'. It was my favorite, cus I always felt that I would eventually get a man to love me that way.
I wasn't going to talk to anyone today, not that they cared. They've always seen me as a snubbish person and I don't think I want them to think otherwise anytime soon. But then I see this girl staring at me, I'm not into girls but I do like girl who are gifted by God. I smiled and that got her walking towards me.
' oh no' I said to myself as she approached my desk.
' hi' she smiled as I removed my earphones
' hi ' I smiled, I've never had another friend and don't know how to converse with most girls my age all thanks to mom who never let me out. So this would me a hell of a conversation with this new girl
' I'm guessing you hate talking to people' she said. What a weird way to start a conversation I thought
'You guessed right' I smiled shyly
'Well you don't need to cus we're all loving here' she said
'Here's the thing I hate to mingle' i said
'Thats what schools are for, by the way I'm Tina, you?'she asked stretching her hands for a handshake, just like that
'I'm Elle' i shook her hands but in split seconds
'Nice to meet you Elle' she said as be began walking towards the front of the classroom. I'm guessing she was heading out but then she does something really crazy.
' hey everybody, listen up.. this is Elle and she's not a snub you guys' she shouted making everyone turn to me but then ends up laughing instead.
Great! I'm now a joke.. I took my bag and ran out of class, I was done with the day but then I could here footsteps behind me. It was Tina she had the look that suggests she pitied me which I hate. I stopped giving her a hard stare
'I'm sorry I didn't expect it to go that way' she said
Oh I know she'd say that but I wasn't the one to start exposing every lies so instead
'It's okay' i said and left the school. I was surely going to convince mom on changing my school.
Mom did enroll me into a different school that week and life un that school was more worse. Not like the life I had in the first school was bad but then this was hell. And mom refused to enroll me in another school saying it wouldn't be helpful since I was to go to college some day. I didn't want to. I preferred being a business owner but mom insists that it was best I had a degree first.
Life in school was hard but I passed through and came out too in my class. Mom couldn't be more proud of me.
*****
I got to ECA alone mom said she was busy and suggested I went with dad but I wasn't going to call that man.
I went to the the admission office to clear my admission papers first and then I was directed to the student affairs who told me I wasn't allowed to be in a regular dorm with the other students because my mom paid for the condo, they advised me pay à visit to my department the next day.
I stood in front of the condo I was supposed to be sharing with three other girls, it was provided by the school and as an elite student I was to live here though I preferred the regular dorms. But mom kept on complaining it was not safe and that it was filled with children from the lower class who could result to changing my good behavior.
I was always obedient so I listened to mom and here I am standing with a smallish looking girl who can't keep her words to herself and then claims to be my age but looks nothing like my age.
'What did you say your name is?'I asked her for the fifth time hoping she stops
'I'm Irene but you can call me baby rene' she says smiling
'How many did you say we are?' I asked
'Oh that, were four, you have nothing to worry about the others are cool and we have our seperate rooms and a parlour, each room has a table you can study with and yes the room are super comfy and the best part we don't get to use the same electricity setting lije the other dorms' she squealed at the end of her statement
'Are the rest like you?'I asked
'No but I guess I'm the tallest but since you're here you've got that' she said and then I stopped asking she took it as a sign to stop talking. The ride in the elevator was quiet, I observed her, she was tall but too skinny for her age but then I wasn't going to hang out with her anyways so I don't care.
We got to the assigned floor and the elevator opened up and we stepped into the apartment, it looks nothing like a student's apartment. It was more like a house, I liked it so I smiled
'I knew you'd like it' she said and then I realized she was still there
'Where are the others? Why were you the one asked to bring me in?'I asked
' The others are probably asleep and well…' she began to stutter as a not too slender girl with a long braids comes out from a room approached
'Hey, you must be the new girl, heard a lot, name's eve,what's yours?' She asked
'This is El..'Irene began but was cut short by another girl I'm guessing to be the last girl
'Let her speak' she commands
'And who are you?'I asked
'Oh..this is Felicia, her parents are part of the benefactors of the school 'Irene replies and I'm beginning to hate her for talking way out of proportion.
'So..?'Felicia asked expecting me to give her a reply
'Irene where is my room' i asked
'It's the second room by your right' she replied sweetly
'Thank you' i said as I began heading to my said room, I could hear Felicia mumbling ' she won't last long here' and I was intrigued to find out what she meant.