This was a very bad idea.
I kept telling myself that over and over again.
Xavier shouldn't be here definitely not here in my room.
But he moved anyway.
Slowly, deliberately, he crawled onto the bed, closing the distance between us until his shadow fell over me. In seconds, I was underneath him.
Still a bad idea.
Back off. Now.
Move, Vanessa.
But I couldn't. I didn't.
My body betrayed me completely—my breath grew slow, heavy, hungry.
Then, with one smooth, confident movement, his lips crashed onto mine.
I kissed him back fiercely, my fingers threading into his hair and pulling him closer. His tongue found mine with a heat that spread through me and shot straight down my spine. When his mouth trailed down to my neck, I bit back a moan, every part of me trembling.
His hands were everywhere—my breasts, my waist, lower—touching, claiming, exploring.
"I want you, Vanessa," he growled against my skin, his voice deep… intimidating… irresistible.
I jolted upright.
My room. My bed. Silence.
It was a dream.
A fucking sex dream.
Of all the things I wanted to think about… why the hell was I dreaming about Xavier like that? I felt disgusted with myself mortified but also… God. I hadn't felt that alive and free in months.
The mix of emotions knotted inside my chest, frustration, longing, confusion
all of it too much.
Needing air, I slipped out of bed and walked to the balcony. I sat on the love couch, the cool dawn breeze brushing my skin. The sky was still dark, soft hints of morning creeping in. Below me was our backyard the quiet trees, the wide-open lawn, and our infinity pool reflecting the faintest glimmer of light.
I'd seen this view a thousand times. Tonight, it felt different—too quiet, too honest.
I needed work.
Work was safe. Predictable.
Work didn't make my mind wander into Xavier's arms.
Just a few more weeks and I'd be back in my routine. Back to something real. Something controllable.
Slowly, sleep crept in again, soft and heavy, and I drifted back into the dream world.
...….
It was Sunday, and Sunday meant pool day.
Charlie and I had kept that tradition for years; even when the kids were away, we still clung to it like a small sacred ritual. Today felt no different sun high, water glittering, music low in the background.
I lounged beside the pool in my flowery bikini, kimono draped loosely over my shoulders, dark shades shielding my eyes. A book lay open beside me, a drink sweating gently in the heat. It was supposed to be the perfect day.
Fawn was off with her best friend somewhere.
Finn was in the pool with Xavier.
Xavier.
I didn't know what drew me to him so intensely today. Maybe it was the dream from last night, the kind that left me breathless and ashamed and wanting more. Maybe it was the way he kept laughing with Finn, water catching the light on his skin. Maybe it was the way I felt his eyes flick toward me more than once.
Or maybe it was me stealing glances at him like I had no self-control left.
The sun was hot, but Xavier was hotter.
Ridiculously, unfairly hotter.
He stepped out of the pool, water streaming down his chest, hair slicked back, eyes trained on me like he'd been watching the whole time.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Fine."
I wasn't fine. I needed air. And distance. And maybe a time machine to undo every thought I'd had since that stupid dream.
But Xavier smiled like he knew I was lying.
I had to get out of here.
I stood abruptly, brushing imaginary sand from my thighs. "Pool day is over, everyone," I said quickly, heading inside through the back door.
The cool air of the kitchen hit me like a blessing. I grabbed a glass, rinsing it just to keep my hands busy.
"This can't work, Vanessa."
I froze.
I turned slowly, finding Xavier standing in the doorway dripping, towel around his shoulders, gaze fixed entirely on me.
"I don't understand," I managed.
"You've been avoiding me," he said, stepping closer.
"Why wouldn't I?" I shot back. "What happened in the study can't happen again."
He closed the distance in two unhurried steps, his presence suddenly too big, too warm, too dangerous in the small kitchen.
"And why not?" he asked softly.
I swallowed hard.
"You felt it as much as I did," he continued. "And I'm not sorry about it."
My stomach tightened painfully.
"We need some distance between us," I whispered.
"No, we don't." His voice softened, almost pleading. "Yeah, it seems weird. But I can't ignore this… this thing growing between us."
His hand rose, knuckles brushing my jaw in a way that sent warmth spiraling through me.
"Tell me you don't feel it too," he murmured.
"Xavier, let's talk about this another time, okay? Not here. Not now."
He exhaled slowly, frustration and desire tangled together.
"Okay. But I'll be waiting for you, Vanessa. Patiently," he said, his voice low enough to unravel me.
Outside, Finn swam another lap across the pool, sparing only a casual glance toward the kitchen window. All he saw was what looked like a harmless conversation between his best friend and his mom.
He shrugged and dipped under the water again, completely unaware that nothing about it was harmless.