That section of Palem looked different once the carriage stopped moving.
From inside, the city had been a blur of faces and voices. On foot, Rentaro could finally see it. The main district spread out from the great hall in wide, winding streets paved with pale stone, worn smooth in the middle by centuries of boots and wheels.
Narrow rivers ran alongside them in shallow channels, their water clear enough to show the pebbles on the bottom. Every so often a small arched bridge crossed one, just wide enough for two people to pass.
The buildings leaned close together on either side. Some were built of gray stone with slate roofs, while others were timber-framed with plaster walls, their upper floors jutting out over the street as if they were trying to whisper to the houses across from them. Window boxes spilled over with flowers. Laundry hung between balconies. Somewhere above, a shutter creaked open, and someone shook out a rug.
Banners hung everywhere. They stretched from rooftop to rooftop in long, colorful lines: deep red, sea green, saffron yellow, royal blue. Each one carried a different symbol, a crowned tower, a wolf's head, a pair of crossed keys, a sun with too many rays. They rippled together in the evening breeze like a hundred slow conversations.
Iron street lamps stood at every corner, tall and black, with glass lanterns hanging from curled hooks. A man with a long pole was making his way down the avenue, lighting them one by one. Each flame caught with a soft pop, and the light spilled over the water in trembling gold.
The air smelled like river stone, roasting chestnuts, and something sweet baking nearby. Stalls lined the plaza, with merchants calling out prices, children weaving between them, a street musician plucking a lute that was slightly out of tune.
The people were the most interesting out of all. You couldn't tell with just one look, but all these people… they were different. Races? Maybe? But some had scales, others had different coloured skin. Of course Rentaro didn't know what all these features meant, nor the significance behind them. Furthermore, these people all wore unnatural fabrications, colourful yet simple.
Rentaro stood still in awe.
Finally, something interesting.
He had spent weeks seeing only Bernard's café, the back alley, and the short road to the market. Marlene and Bernard had kept him close, and he'd never thought to ask why.
Now he stood at the edge of a city that went on and on, and he didn't know where it ended.
Rentaro's face lit up with excitement.
"Wow… this place is amazing!"
"Everything is sooo amazing!" Lilou echoed, spinning in a circle with her arms out. "Ren, look! Look! Water!"
"I see it! It's a river! A tiny river! Next to the road!"
"Ren, look! A bridge!" ( ꈍ◡ꈍ)
"Aww. A cuuute, small little bridge for the tiny river!" said Rentaro while striking a pose.
"Ren, look! That man is setting the lamps on fire!"
"So elegant! That man must be a genius." ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!
"Ren, look! A flag with a crown!"
A simple coloured flag with a simple drawing resembling a crown.
"ehhhhh...That one is actually really cool!" (º﹃º)
The two of them stood side by side in the middle of the street, pointing at everything just like small children. A passing merchant glanced at them, then at the quiet girl with wolf ears standing a few paces behind, ultimately, he decided not to interfere.
"...They have never seen a street before," Lina murmured.
"They probably have seen this street," Claudia said, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. "Just not like this." ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )
She glanced up at the banners swaying overhead, and her grin softened.
"The city looks extra fancy right now, you know. Everyone's getting ready for the summit." She shrugged. "Palem wants to look its best when the royals arrive, and you know what? I don't blame them."
"So it's like a masquerade party?" Rentaro said. (º﹃º)
"Something like that, whatever that means…" ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )
He looked at the banners again, and they seemed a little brighter than before.
A little way down the street, a flower cart made out of hard-shelled wood sat beside one of the tiny bridges. Buckets of blooms lined its front, some red, some yellow, and a few soft white ones that seemed to glow in the lamplight.
Rentaro drifted toward it without deciding to.
"Wow…" He crouched beside a bucket, studying the petals up close. "They're so… colorful. And they smell nice. Marlene would love these."
"Mhm! She'd put them by the window like she always does and then look at them," Lilou said, nodding hard. "And I'd help water them this time. Properly."
Just then.
"Looking for something for someone special?" Said the flowergirl behind the cart.
Rentaro glanced up. The girl behind the cart looked about his age, with flour-dusted gloves and a green apron stained with pollen. She had a warm, easy smile, the kind that made it look like she'd been waiting all day for someone to ask.
"Uhh… not really... I just really like the flowers." (º﹃º)
"Is that so?" She laughed softly, then plucked a single white bloom from a bucket and, before he could react, tucked it into his hair. The flowers plucked right above Rentaro's forehead creating a messy strand to pop out. An "ahoge"..."There. It suits you!"
"Eh?! W-wait…"
"It's for that special someone." She winked. "You'll know when you meet them."
"... special huh?"
Rentaro took a moment to think, at this moment he didn't really consider anyone "close" to him to be that special, nor did he want to call upon someone like that.
What does being "special" even mean? Am I special because of my amnesia in this world? Sure, Lilou is friendly and all… is Bernard special for taking me in? Is Marlene special for teaching me new things? Is Shizuka special for having her memories of her previous life?
"I don't think… I have one of those…"
"Not yet, maybe!"
Rentaro reached up, touched the petals, and frowned. He had no idea what she meant.
"These kinds of relationships take time to form, be it whoever it may be. I hope the lucky one who takes the flower builds something beautiful with you, the kind of bond you also seek with them!"
Rentaro didn't understand what that meant, nor was he going to find out soon.
[Bonds] are meaningless anyway . . .
"ehh… Thanks, I guess."
"Ren! Ren! You look so silly!" Lilou giggled, clapping her hands.
". . . i d o n t"
"You look like a flower prince!"
"Aaaabsolutely not."
…But he didn't take it off.
.
.
.
They walked on together, the flower still sitting in Rentaro's hair.
The streets grew busier as they went. Carts rattled past loaded with banners and crates of lamp oil. Rentaro trailed behind the others, slowing at every window. Bread shaped like animals. A shop where the shelves were full of tiny glass bottles. A cat asleep in the sun on top of a barrel, completely ignoring the chaos.
Everything here is so loud and so alive.
"Claudia!"
An appearance made itself known.
A young guard came pushing through the crowd, waving a sheet of paper, elegant, not the type of "armor" you'd expect a guard to be wearing, but his suit was modest.
"Good evening, Mistress Claudia, and glory to our princess Sizzelia. I knew I'd find you here today. The delegation from the gate arrived early. They're asking for a Defender's approval, right now."
"Now?! They're not supposed to be here until tomorrow!" Claudia groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Lina, we have to go."
"...And what about them?"
"The delegates are rather particular," the guard said apologetically. "They said no civilians."
Lina and Claudia exchanged a look.
"Wait here," Claudia said, already pointing at Rentaro. "Do not move. I mean it. Or I'll be reeeally really angry. Stay by this fountain." (๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)
She and Lina vanished into the crowd, the guard hurrying after them.
For a moment, the two of them just stood there.
"Ahuh…"
And just like that they were left dumbfounded.
The fountain gurgled.
"...R-Ren," Lilou whispered.
"mhm..."
.
.
.
"d-do you think–"
"Yeah, let's go look around."
"Okay!!" (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
This is an opportunity… every other time I was overlooked by someone else…
But now…
He looked at the flower on his head, and at the lanterns glowing down the side streets, and thought about how long he'd stayed exactly where he was told.
This is somewhat of a chance to explore more on my own.
Sure, he got to see lots of stuff with Claudia and Lina…
Lilou grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the nearest side street, and the white flower bobbed in his hair along with his ahoge the whole way.
The side streets of Palem were nothing like the main avenue.
There were no banners here, no guards, no crowds shouting. Just narrow lanes with laundry strung overhead, doorsteps with sleeping cats, and the soft sound of the little rivers running along the stones. Everything felt smaller and closer, like the city had lowered its voice.
They stopped at a window full of tiny glass birds and pressed their faces to the pane. They followed a boy carrying a basket of warm bread until the smell made Lilou's stomach growl loud enough to embarrass them both. Lilou petted every cat she met. Rentaro tried to pet one and got hissed at, which Lilou found extremely funny.
The white flower stayed in his hair through all of it, and he'd stopped noticing it was there.
At some point they sat on the edge of a small stone bridge, watching the water slide past with lantern light floating on it in broken gold pieces. Lilou dangled her feet over the side, humming.
Rentaro leaned back on his hands.
This is nice.
It wasn't a grand thought. It didn't need to be. Nobody was deciding anything for him. Nobody was explaining anything to him. He was just sitting on a bridge in a city that went on forever, a kid kicking her feet next to him, and he was…fine.
A long time has passed since I left Adler's home. I wonder what Shizuka is doing, she'll definitely be mad when she finds us… ehhhh nevermind. Bernard is probably taking care of the orphanage kids and Marlene would be cooking something tasty.
…
Damn…
Is this how it feels?
To want to be somewhere where you're not?
Do I want to be there right now? I'm kinda bored out of my mind here. This isn't what I imagined at all…
He thought about Bernard and Marlene. About how he should bring them something back, maybe the little glass birds.
That would be a good gesture, would they appreciate something like that coming from me? Is this something [normal] people do?
He thought about the deal he made with Shizuka, how he'd learn more about his amnesia and more about this world, sizzelia, memories, defenders… honestly he found it kind of exciting and confusing at the same time, he wanted to tell shizuka about it.
…
She'd probably wouldn't want to hear it anyway…
.
.
.
Maybe.
I'm.
Missing.
Something.
Do I know what it is? No, I don't. And if I did, I'd desperately try to resolve it. But how can I resolve something I don't even understand? Why does it feel like there's something bothering me when there isn't? Or is there? Maybe there is, and I just haven't noticed it yet. How would I even figure that out? Will it keep burdening me? Will it eventually cease? Is it emotional? Is it something to do with me? Of course it has something to do with me, I'm the one feeling it, aren't I? Then why can't I understand it? Why am I not satisfied? Do I need more? More of what? More experiences? More people? More things to see, more things to do? But I've already experienced so much, haven't I? I've laughed, I've eaten, I've worked, I've talked to people. I've even made friends. Isn't that what I wanted? Isn't that what I told myself I wanted? Then why, whenever everything goes quiet, does it feel like something's missing? It's not like I'm unhappy. I'm not unhappy. I don't think I am. So why does it bother me? Why does it bother me that I don't know what bothers me? Maybe I'm just bored. Yeah, that's probably it. Boredom. That's all it is. But if I'm bored, why doesn't doing something make it go away? And if I'm lonely, how can I be lonely when I'm not alone? Lilou's right here. Everyone's right here. So what am I looking for? Someone? Something? Am I waiting for something to happen? Or am I waiting for someone who isn't here? Someone I don't even remember? No, that doesn't make sense. How could I miss someone I don't know? How could I want something I've never had? Unless I did have it. Unless there was something before all this. Something important. Something I lost. But if I can't remember losing it, how would I know it's gone? How would I know? How would I know anything? What am I supposed to do with a feeling that doesn't have a name? Am I supposed to ignore it? Accept it? Keep experiencing things until it disappears? But what if it doesn't disappear? What if I keep going and going and going, and no matter how much I experience, there's always something missing? Then what? What would I do then? What would any of this mean? I don't know. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I'm missing. I don't know why I'm thinking about this. I don't know why I can't stop. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I don't—
"Rentaro?"
Lilou's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"..."
Maybe I should try to relax a little.
Just a little longer before all of this ends…
He closed his eyes and listened to the water.
"Fools! Do you have any idea who you stand before?!"
His eyes snapped open.
"Godammit."
Rentaro and Lilou slid off the bridge and crept toward the sound. At the end of a dead-end alley, two men were cornering someone. Backed against the wall was a girl with long, tidy blond hair, striped pink and white stockings, a purple dress, and two horns, one red and one blue. She clutched a worn leather book to her chest.
Yet most importantly, she looked scared.
"I-I am T-Trillium, wielder of the A-Azure flame!" She pointed a trembling finger at them. "One more s-step and you will t-taste the wrath of m-my magic or…"
Magic? Does this girl really know magic?
"Ahh, yeah huh?" The biggest man plucked the diary from her hands with two fingers. "Show me one."
"T-that's my grimoire! G-give it back!"
"A grimoire, huh? I heard those things aren't cheap, this brat might be part of a rich family." He flipped it open and grinned. "what the…?"
"Yer found something in there?" Said one of the other thugs.
"Hang on, hang on…" The big man squinted at the page. His grin slowly faded. "Day thirteen. On the forest road, I encountered a fearsome witch. Naturally, I defeated her with ease, and she begged for mercy, and…"
"N-NOOO, D-DON'T READ THAT OUT LOUD!"
Her voice cracked on the last word. The stutter vanished with it, and for a second she looked less like a mage and more like a girl who wanted the ground to swallow her.
The men burst out laughing. She didn't run. She stepped forward with her fists clenched.
"R-return it, or s-suffer the consequences!"
"She's persistent," one of them muttered.
"yer mouth's loud," said another.
Rentaro leaned back behind the corner.
She said magic. Real magic?
He watched her hands. And unlike Marlene's. Nothing glowed. Nothing sparked. They were just shaking.
...No. That's not magic. That's fear wearing a costume.
"Noooope," he whispered. "Non of our business."
As soon as he said that he felt the smallest of trembling right besides his leg. Shooting a glance at the person beside him… Lilou was…
"Ren..."
Lilou's small hand had found his sleeve and was gripping it hard. She wasn't looking at the thugs. She was looking at the girl, at the diary…
"..."
"...Ren, that girl over there is scared…"
"..."
"Ren…!"
"They're three grown men. I'm one guy who can barely carry a crate."
Her grip tightened. When she spoke again, her voice was quieter than he'd ever heard it.
"Nobody's helping her."
He opened his mouth to argue and found nothing there.
He didn't particularly care for what happened to the girl, if anything, I'd be less trouble to his ears… but still…
...That's what Lilou did for me.
He remembered the first day. No, his first few moments of existence. And a small girl had just walked up and decided he was worth helping anyway.
She hadn't asked what he could do for her.
Does everyone and anyone really get a chance?
Rentaro closed his eyes.
He stepped into the alley, tugged his sleeves straight, and cleared his throat.
"Oi."
Rentaro was still wearing the servitor's outfit that Marlene made for him, not his greatest idea, but… he could pass for someone he was not.
The three men turned. Their eyes traveled over his neat dark uniform, then up to the white flower in his hair.
All three of them were asking the same question
.
.
.
"...Is that a flower?"
"Y-yes, it indeed is." said Rentaro, with all the dignity he could muster. "A gift from the lady I serve."
The alley went quiet.
"The lady you serve? Just who is this bum?" the big man repeated.
"Yes, exactly. The lady over there whom you are utterly humiliating." Rentaro pointed a stiff, formal finger at Trillium, who was staring at him with her mouth slightly open. "I've been looking for her everywhere. My lady, you shouldn't wander off like this, I was worried sick."
The big man glanced at the diary in his hand. The leather was worn, but the cover had a faint embossed pattern he hadn't noticed before.
"...Ghh," the smaller thug reacted. "The royal family's arriving for the summit, that is true..."
"D-Don't be stupid. She's just a little kid..." said the second thug.
"A kid from a very important family, that you should not take lightly." said Rentaro. "Which is why my lady travels incognito. She's testing the loyalty of the city. And I'll have you know your actions will not be taken lightly, and princess sizzelia will not forgive you."
A smirk sparked onto Rentaro's face.
"Eheh, Beg as you will, our royal torturers shall not stop at anything to make you learn your lessons."
Rentaro exclaimed with a satisfied look on his face.
Behind him, Lilou made a small choking sound and pressed both hands over her mouth.
Trillium blinked at him for one long second. Then something sparkled behind her eyes, and her whole posture changed. Her chin went up. Her shoulders went back. The stutter was gone before she opened her mouth.
"Fufufufu, Indeed!" she said, in a voice far too regal for her stockings. "Servant. You have arrived quite late."
F-finally she caught on.
"ah, Forgive me, my lady," said Rentaro, bowing his head and trying to sound as sincere as possible. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
"...fu… you shall be forgiven my servant. Just barely, if those creatures were to lay a hand on me then maybe I'd even take your head as compensation."
…
You're pushing your luck lady.
(ꐦㅍ _ㅍ)
The big man looked at Trillium, then at the servant with the flower, and then at the diary in his hand, as if it might bite.
"...Tch."
He tossed it in the dirt.
"We didn't see anything."
All three took off down the alley.
Silence.
Rentaro let out a long breath and sagged against the wall.
"...I can't believe that worked."
"Ren, you were so cool!" Lilou bounced on her toes. "And she was so good at it!"
Oh yeah.
He picked up the diary, brushed the dirt off, and held it out.
"...Here."
She took it with both hands. For a moment she just stood there, hugging it, her royal composure gone and her eyes a little too bright. Then she wiped her face with her sleeve.
"A-as expected!" she said, a little too loudly. "T-they… they really did flee before my true power could be unleashed. You did well to serve me, servant!"
"Ehhh?" (º﹃º)
The girl right In front of him, "Trillium" a name Rentaro could recognize. The girl was now standing proudly in front of him and Lilou.
"My royal subjects, as your ruler I shall learn the names of those whom assisted me."
"Wow…" Lilou's eyes went wide. Then she dropped to her knees on the stones and bowed so deeply her forehead nearly touched the ground. "I'm Lilou, Your Majesty! It's an honor!"
"...Oh?" Trillium blinked, caught off guard for half a second before her chin shot back up. "A-as expected of a loyal subject! Rise, Lilou. Your devotion is noted."
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
"...L-Lilou, you don't have to kneel," Rentaro muttered. (º﹃º)
Trillium's eyes slid to him, and she crossed her arms with great dignity. The effect was slightly spoiled by the horn sliding down over her ear again.
"And you, servant?" she said. "Will you not kneel before your everloving ruler?"
Rentaro stayed exactly where he was.
"...Nooo."
"GAH?? NO?!" (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞
"I'm Rentaro," he said flatly. "Just Rentaro."
Trillium looked a bit shocked.
"Ack! How rude… but still…" she gazed upon Rentaro. "Your name is Rentaro huh? Fufufu. Yours truly shall remember that, consider it an honor to speak to... the great Trillium!!! Most people don't even get this far talking to me, so you should really be grateful right now, fufufu!"
"Ehhh…"