The next morning, Ashreign woke up to the sound of Jumpy's bells jingling and the Sassy Bread's voice complaining about being left on the nightstand.
"Hey! Cake boy! Wake up! I've been sitting here all night, and I'm starting to get crusty!" the bread yelled, wiggling on the table next to his bed.
Jumpy was bouncing on the foot of the bed, his hat bells making so much noise Ashreign thought his ears would ring. "Wake up! Wake up! Today's academy day! We're gonna make people laugh! We're gonna make the headmaster fall out of his chair! Wake up wake up wake up!"
Ashreign sat up, rubbing his eyes. The sun was streaming through the window, and the smell of fresh bread and eggs was coming from the kitchen. He'd barely slept last night he'd been too excited and a little nervous about starting Aethelgard Academy. It was the most prestigious school in the kingdom, where nobles, knights, and mages trained to serve the kingdom. In the game, it was where Ashreign had first met Kai, the boy who would become the hero who killed him.
"Okay, okay, I'm up," he said, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He pulled on his academy uniform, a dark green tunic with the school's crest, a book and a sword crossed together on the chest, black pants, and new leather boots. As he tied his laces, Ziggy's voice popped in his head.
"[GOOD MORNING, LAUGH MASTER!]" she yelled, and the glittery screen appeared. "[Today's the big day! Remember the quest: Make Headmaster Aldric laugh so hard he falls out of his chair. Reward: 300 LP + 1 FREE Epic Draw. Fail: Chicken hat for three weeks and I'll make Jumpy wear one too!]"
Ashreign smiled. Making Jumpy wear a chicken hat would be funny, but he didn't want to risk it. "Got it. Any tips on how to make the headmaster laugh? I heard he's super serious."
"[He's the most serious man in the whole academy, never smiles, never laughs, always has his nose in a book. That's what makes this quest so fun!]" Ziggy said. "[Just be creative. You've got Jumpy and Sassy Bread to help. Now go eat breakfast, you'll need energy for all the chaos!]"
Ashreign picked up the Sassy Bread and tucked it in his pocket, then followed Jumpy out of the room. They walked down the hallway to the dining room, where his family was already sitting at the table. Elara smiled when she saw him.
"Good morning, Ashreign! Are you excited for your first day at the academy?" she asked, pouring him a glass of milk.
"Excited and a little nervous," he said, sitting down next to Lila.
Duke Valerius nodded, taking a bite of his egg. "It's a good school. You'll learn magic, sword fighting, and how to be a leader. But be careful, there are many nobles there who are jealous of House Khain. Don't let anyone push you around."
"I won't," Ashreign said. He took a bite of his toast, then felt the Sassy Bread wiggle in his pocket.
"Hey! Where's my breakfast? I'm a loaf of bread — I don't eat toast, but I want some jam! Give me some jam!"
Ashreign smiled and grabbed a small jar of strawberry jam from the table, twisting off the lid and dabbing a little on his finger. He held it up to his pocket, and the bread wiggled closer, licking the jam off his finger.
"Mmm! That's good! More!"
Jumpy bounced on the table, making the plates rattle. "Can I have jam too? I love jam! I want jam on my nose!"
Lila giggled and grabbed a spoonful of jam, dabbing it on Jumpy's red rubber nose. He crossed his eyes trying to look at it, making everyone at the table laugh.
After breakfast, Ashreign said goodbye to his family and climbed into the Khain family carriage, a large, dark green carriage pulled by two black horses. Jumpy sat next to him, bouncing up and down with excitement, while the Sassy Bread sat in his lap, still asking for more jam.
The ride to the academy took about an hour. As they got closer, Ashreign could see the school's towers rising up from the hills, four tall towers made of white stone, with a large courtyard in the middle. Students were walking around in their green uniforms, talking and laughing. He saw nobles from other powerful houses, knights in training with their swords at their hips, and mages practicing small spells that made sparks fly from their fingers.
When the carriage stopped at the main gate, Ashreign climbed out. Jumpy hopped down next to him, and the Sassy Bread wiggled in his pocket. A teacher in a dark green robe walked up to him, a serious look on his face.
"Ashreign Khain? I'm Professor Marcus. I'll be leading the orientation. Follow me, all new students are gathering in the main hall."
Ashreign followed Professor Marcus into the school, his eyes wide with wonder. The main hall was even bigger than the one at the Khain Estate, it had a high ceiling with painted stars, and walls lined with portraits of famous alumni. Hundreds of new students were already there, talking in small groups. Ashreign scanned the crowd, looking for Kai. He spotted him in the corner, a tall boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing a white tunic over his green uniform, a sign he was already training with the Sunlight Order. He was talking to a group of other students, looking serious and important.
"[There's Kai! The future hero!]" Ziggy said in his head. "[Maybe you can make him laugh too extra LP if you do!]"
Ashreign nodded, but he didn't go over to Kai. He didn't want to start any trouble on his first day. Instead, he found a spot near the front of the hall, next to a girl with short black hair who was reading a book.
Jumpy bounced in front of her, jingling his bells. "Hi! I'm Jumpy! Want to hear a joke? Why did the book go to the doctor? Because it had a lot of pages!"
The girl looked up from her book and smiled. "That's funny. I'm Luna. I'm training to be a mage."
"Ashreign," he said, smiling back. "This is Jumpy, my minion, and Sassy Bread, my… uh… bread."
The Sassy Bread wiggled in his pocket. "Hey! I'm not just bread, I'm sassy bread. There's a difference."
Luna laughed, and Ashreign felt a little better. Maybe making friends at the academy wouldn't be so hard.
Just then, the doors at the front of the hall opened, and Headmaster Aldric walked in. He was a tall, thin man with gray hair and a long beard, wearing a black robe with the school's crest on it. He had a face like stone no smile, no warmth, just seriousness. He walked up to the podium at the front of the hall and banged his gavel on it, making everyone quiet down.
"Welcome to Aethelgard Academy," he said, his voice deep and booming. "You are here to learn, to grow, and to serve the kingdom. I will not tolerate nonsense, laziness, or disrespect. You will follow the rules, study hard, and become the leaders this kingdom needs. Do I make myself clear?"
"YES, HEADMASTER!" everyone yelled in unison.
Ashreign looked at Jumpy and the Sassy Bread. How was he going to make this man laugh? He seemed like the kind of person who'd never laughed in his life.
Headmaster Aldric started his speech, talking about the school's history, the rules, and the classes they'd be taking. It was the most boring speech Ashreign had ever heard, even back on Earth, his boss's meetings hadn't been this bad. People were starting to yawn, and some students were even falling asleep.
"[Come on, Laugh Master! You need to do something before he finishes his speech!]" Ziggy said, sounding worried. "[He's almost done!]"
Ashreign thought fast. He looked at Jumpy, then at the podium, then at the Headmaster's feet. He had an idea.
"Jumpy," he whispered. "I need you to do something. Go under the podium and tie the Headmaster's robe to one of the legs. But be quiet don't let him see you."
Jumpy nodded, his eyes shining with excitement. He crawled under the podium, his bells jingling softly. Ashreign held his breath, hoping no one would notice. The Sassy Bread wiggled in his pocket.
"That's a good idea! But what if he gets mad? I don't want to be thrown out the window."
"Trust me," Ashreign whispered.
Headmaster Aldric was finishing his speech. "And so, I welcome you to Aethelgard Academy. May you bring honor to your families and to the..."
He tried to step forward, but his robe was tied to the podium leg. He pulled again, harder this time, and the podium wobbled. He pulled a third time, and the podium tipped over, sending papers flying everywhere. Headmaster Aldric lost his balance and fell backward, landing on the floor with a loud THUMP.
For a second, the hall was quiet. Then Jumpy popped out from under the podium, jingling his bells and yelling. "Why did the headmaster fall off the podium? Because he was tied down by his speech!"
Luna laughed first, then another student, then another. Soon the whole hall was laughing, even some of the teachers were trying to hold back grins. Kai was staring at Ashreign, looking shocked, but even he had a small smile on his face.
Headmaster Aldric sat up, looking at the rope tied to his robe, then at Jumpy, then at Ashreign. Ashreign held his breath, waiting for him to get angry. But then something surprising happened.
The Headmaster's stone face softened. A small smile appeared on his lips. Then he started to laugh, a deep, genuine laugh that filled the whole hall. He laughed so hard he had to hold his stomach, and tears streamed down his face.
"That's… that's the funniest thing I've seen in… in fifty years!" he said, when he finally stopped laughing. "Who did this?"
Jumpy bounced forward. "I did! But Ashreign told me to! It was his idea!"
Headmaster Aldric looked at Ashreign, still smiling. "Ashreign Khain? Duke Valerius's son? I should be angry… but I haven't laughed like that in so long. You have a gift for making people laugh, boy. Just… don't tie me to the podium again."
The whole hall laughed again, and Ashreign felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders. Just then, Ziggy's voice exploded in his head.
"[WOOHOO! QUEST COMPLETE! QUEST COMPLETE!]" she yelled, and the screen flashed bright green. "[You earned 300 LP! Plus bonus points for making everyone in the hall laugh that's 70 extra LP! Plus bonus points for making KAI laugh 50 more! Total LP: 768!]"
"[FREE EPIC DRAW TIME! FREE EPIC DRAW TIME!]" she continued, screaming with excitement. "[Spin the giant golden wheel! Come on, let's get an amazing prize!]"
A huge golden wheel appeared in his mind, covered in pictures of powerful skills and rare minions. It spun faster and faster, making Ashreign dizzy, before slowing down and stopping on an icon of a sword that looked like it was made of rainbows.
"[YES! YES! YES!]" Ziggy yelled. "[Epic: THE RAINBOW TICKLE SWORD! It shoots colorful sparks that tickle enemies so they can't fight — and it makes a silly sound every time you swing it! Ta-da!]"
A soft rainbow light appeared in Ashreign's hand, and when it faded, he was holding a sword. It was light and small, perfect for a 12-year-old, and it glowed with all the colors of the rainbow. When he swung it, it made a loud BOING sound, and colorful sparks flew out.
The students around him stared, then cheered. Jumpy bounced around, jingling his bells. The Sassy Bread wiggled in his pocket.
"Okay, that's actually pretty cool. I take back what I said about you being a bad planner."
Headmaster Aldric stood up, brushing off his robe. "Well, that's enough excitement for one orientation. You will all report to your first classes tomorrow. Ashreign come see me in my office before you leave. I want to talk to you about… your gift."
Ashreign nodded, smiling. As the students started to leave the hall, Kai walked up to him. He looked at the Rainbow Tickle Sword, then at Ashreign.
"That was… funny," he said, his voice a little awkward. "I've never seen the Headmaster laugh like that."
"Thanks," Ashreign said, smiling back. "Want to see what this sword does?"
He swung it, and it made a BOING sound, sending sparks flying. Kai flinched, then smiled. "That's… silly. But cool."
"[You made Kai laugh! Extra 50 LP! Total LP: 818!]" Ziggy yelled in his head.
As Kai walked away, Luna walked up to Ashreign. "That was amazing! You're going to be the most popular student in the academy!"
Ashreign smiled. He looked at his Rainbow Tickle Sword, at Jumpy, at the Sassy Bread in his pocket. He'd only been at the academy for a few hours, and he'd already made friends, made the hero laugh, and completed his quest. Back on Earth, he'd never been this happy.
Tomorrow, he'd start his classes. He'd learn magic and sword fighting. He'd make more people laugh. And he'd keep working toward changing his fate, one joke at a time.