The emergency room of the West Wind Cathedral, which should have been solemn and sacred, now resembled a temporary post-war shelter, or perhaps the disaster scene from a comical cartoon.
"...So, that's roughly how it happened."
Jesse, his head wrapped in thick bandages, holding an oversized ice pack to a fresh, large bump on his forehead, weakly reported to Acting Grand Master Jean, whose face was as gloomy as the sky before a storm.
His clothes were torn in several places, stained with suspicious shovel marks and dust.
Acting Grand Master Jean leaned her hands on the temporarily moved office desk, her knuckles white from the force.
She listened to Jesse's almost absurd narration—
From how he was tricked by a mouse into stepping on a shovel, to how Zane slipped on a banana peel and embedded himself in the wall, and then to how Matt and Elliot were blasted into dust by a giant cannon that appeared out of nowhere—
She felt her sanity teetering on the edge of a cliff.
She was tired; let it all be destroyed.
Truly.
Even these four individuals, who could fly Stormterror like a kite and toy with Fatui Harbingers like monkeys, were tormented into such a state by a cat and a mouse... Mondstadt, was it perhaps shrouded by some invisible "intelligence-reducing aura"? There was no hope; it was completely hopeless.
Just then, the emergency room door was pushed open, and Cavalry Captain Kaeya walked in, head bowed, his steps faltering.
His usual elegant demeanor, always tinged with a hint of playfulness, was completely gone, replaced by a body covered in dust, his face bruised and swollen, his iconic eye patch askew, emitting a strong aura of "life is meaningless."
"Kaeya."
Jean asked, holding onto a last shred of hope, her voice trembling imperceptibly.
"How are things... outside?"
Kaeya raised his head, revealing a face like a painter's palette, and replied with a weary tone, as if he had seen through all worldly affairs: "Things? Not good, very not good, Acting Grand Master. The chase between those two 'Ancestors' has started again, tearing from the west side of the city to the east, and now... now the Knights of Favonius Headquarters... one of its corners has been... smashed down by giant springs and a seesaw they got from who knows where..."
Acting Grand Master Jean: "..."
She silently released her hands from the table, slowly straightened up, and looked up at the benevolent (?) face of Barbatos on the cathedral's stained-glass window, her eyes vacant.
She felt it wasn't Mondstadt that was beyond saving, but rather she, as the Acting Grand Master, was about to have a heart attack on the spot.
"Bang—!!!"
A sudden loud crash interrupted Jean's self-exile!
A huge anvil, seemingly from a blacksmith's forge, smashed through the high window of the emergency room like an extraterrestrial meteorite, accompanied by whistling wind and flying glass shards, precisely and irresistibly plummeting towards the only bed in the room!
And on that bed lay Elliot, who had just recovered his human form but was still whimpering.
"Boom!!!"
The bed was instantly shattered into pieces, wood splinters flying everywhere.
And Elliot's head, at the moment it was hit by the anvil, was once again comically flattened into a thin sheet of paper, stuck to the floor.
The whole world seemed to go silent for a second.
Then, Elliot casually reached out, grabbed the edge of the anvil, lifted it off his "head" like removing a hat, and tossed it aside with a loud "clank."
He sat up, his paper-thin head wobbling with his movements, its features still frozen in an expression of astonishment.
"Pfft—!"
Despite the extremely tense atmosphere, seeing Elliot's two-dimensional flat head, Jean, Kaeya, and even Jesse with the bump on his head, and Barbara who had just entered, instantly clamped their hands over their mouths, their shoulders shaking violently, faces flushed red.
Must not laugh! Absolutely must not laugh! This concerns the dignity of the Knights of Favonius!
But... but that paper-thin head was just too impactful!
"Bang bang bang bang—!!!"
Before they could catch their breath, a dense burst of gunfire, like popping beans, came from outside the window again!
Tom, clutching an old double-barreled shotgun, its muzzle smoking, was frantically firing at Jerry, who was wildly leaping and dodging on the church pews, candlesticks, and even Barbara's healing equipment!
Bullets riddled the walls with holes, but not a single hair on Jerry was touched; such terrible marksmanship was truly regrettable.
Zane silently pulled out a huge metal shield, emblazoned with the Blazing Axe Mitachurl emblem, and blocked the broken window, warding off any stray bullets that might fly in.
He sighed, his voice filled with unprecedented weariness and resignation: "Everyone, think of something... If this continues, today we won't be Mondstadt's Honorary Knights, but the entire city's 'entertainment.'"
"What can we do?"
Jesse gave up entirely, slumping in his chair.
"Wait for them to get tired and come over? Their energy seems more boundless than ten Klees combined!"
Before his words finished—
"Bang!!!"
The heavy oak door of the emergency room was violently kicked open from the outside!
The door panel crashed against the wall, groaning in pain.
Tom, wielding a gleaming lumber axe, charged in aggressively!
Burning fury blazed in his cat eyes; he completely ignored the stunned people in the room, raising his axe high and bringing it down fiercely towards Jerry, who was hiding by Zane's feet!
"Ah!"
Barbara shrieked in fright; Jean and Kaeya reacted swiftly, each grabbing one side of Barbara and quickly retreating to a corner of the room, far from the scene of trouble.
Jerry squeaked in terror, scrambling up Zane's leg.
And Tom's axe followed close behind!
"Click! Bang! Thud!"
The axe narrowly grazed Jerry's tail, striking the chair Zane had just been sitting on, the medical trolley beside it, and the wall... "Owaaaahhh—!!!"
A piercing, inhuman shriek suddenly erupted!
It turned out Tom had swung the axe crookedly; the sharp blade grazed Zane's calf skin and landed squarely on his instep.
He immediately clutched that leg and began hopping around the room in circles, screaming; the scene was both tragic and strangely comical.
Just as Tom and Jerry were about to chase each other out of the emergency room, continuing their endless demolition work, an unnamed inferno finally broke through the dam of Zane's usual calm!
"You two—!! Stop right there!!!"
Zane let out a deafening roar, even shaking dust from the ceiling.
He suddenly stretched out his hands, his arms seemingly breaking through some spatial limitation, extending directly beyond the frame!
The next second, as he retracted his arms, he had firmly, like holding two disobedient dolls, clutched the attempting-to-escape Tom and Jerry in his two large hands!
Tom and Jerry squealed and thrashed their limbs wildly in the air, genuine fear finally showing on their faces.
They could feel that this "monster" was truly angry this time!
"You two bastards listen up!"
Zane leaned his face close to the cat and mouse; though his thunder hammer wasn't in hand, the fury in his eyes almost burst forth.
"Look at the mess you've made! You've turned the entire city of Mondstadt upside down! Chickens flying, dogs jumping, houses collapsing, the Knights' Headquarters even demolished by you! Although... although we often do the same!"
He paused, seemingly a little lacking in confidence, but immediately raised his voice again, spittle almost spraying onto Tom's face: "But after we cause destruction, we make amends! We fix it! We compensate! We find ways to recover the losses! What about you?! Besides running! Besides demolishing! Besides leaving behind this pile of messes, what else can you do?!"
Growing angrier with each word, Zane suddenly exerted force with his arms, pressing Tom and Jerry hard against the newly repaired window glass with a dull thud.
"Look clearly outside!"
Zane pointed to the scene outside the window—a true landscape of ruins, collapsed houses, shattered streets, and smoking debris, as if it had just endured a war.
"This is your masterpiece!"
Tom and Jerry's faces were pressed against the cold glass, their distorted little noses and round eyes staring intently at the apocalyptic scene outside.
They simultaneously, with difficulty, swallowed a large gulp of saliva, their small bodies beginning to tremble uncontrollably.
"I'm giving you one last chance!"
Zane's voice was like a cold wind from the abyss.
"If you don't restore this place to its original state—fix every house, pave every street, clear all the trash—I will make both of you look just like the scenery outside the window! Do you understand?!"
Tom and Jerry were scared out of their wits, nodding frantically, so fast they almost left afterimages, wide tears streaming from their eyes.
"If you understand, then get—to work!!!"
Zane roared, swinging his arms violently, throwing Tom and Jerry out the door like two unwelcome potatoes.
"Splish!"
Two faint thuds and cries of pain came from outside the door.
Inside the emergency room, a dead silence fell.
Everyone held their breath, nervously listening to the sounds outside the door.
Initially, there was silence, then some faint clinking and banging, followed by the sound of sawing wood, and then more dense sounds, as if dozens of workers were simultaneously at work... Acting Grand Master Jean cautiously walked to the door, pushed it open a crack, and peeked out.
Outside, on the street, an astonishing scene unfolded: Tom and Jerry had, from who knows where, acquired countless miniature construction tools—tiny hammers, small saws, mini excavators, and even trucks with mini cranes!
The two of them had clear divisions of labor, moving as fast as if playing a sped-up video.
Tom, with his seemingly stretchable arms (?) and astonishing strength, transported huge stones and timber, while Jerry, with his unparalleled delicate operations, performed precise assembly and repairs.
Collapsed walls rose again at a visible speed, shattered floor tiles flew back into place, and even the scorched marks from cannon fire were quickly cleaned and repainted... Their efficiency was terrifying, their technique as professional as ancient master craftsmen, though the art style remained full of cartoonish exaggeration and illogic.
Acting Grand Master Jean gently closed the door, leaned her back against it, and let out a long, long sigh of relief, as if a thousand-pound burden had been lifted.
She looked around the room; Kaeya, Barbara, Jesse, Elliot (his head had returned to normal), and Zane, who had just stopped hopping on one foot and looked utterly shaken, all had the same expression on their faces—
The exhaustion of surviving a catastrophe, and the relief that "this nightmare is finally going to end."
Mondstadt, perhaps, would finally regain its former tranquility under the "atonement" of this cat and mouse... probably.
At least, until the next pair of "surprise" visitors from another world arrived, it should be.
The Acting Grand Master.